Loss of my dad...?

Question

December 21, 2005 i lost my dad. him and i were verrrrrry close...i was daddys little girl! This was very unexpected...he was in fine health the day of! How long is this going to take for the pain to heel? There has been some rough times since December. I had been engaged for a while planning a April 8th wedding...so i had to face the day with my dad not being there. On the way back from the honeymoon i had a panic attack on the airplane and now i'm completely scared of things...planes, bridges, and tunnels. Its weird...why is all of this happening? What can i do?

Answer 1

I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost my mom recently (about 2 years ago--as in your case, we were very close). It stays really difficulat and really "raw" for quite a while, and as one of the people who responded earlier said, you must not expect it ever to go away. What does happen in about a year is that you start to get used to how it feels to have that hole in your life, and little by little you learn that you can get through it somehow. But there will be days when it seems like it happened just yesterday, and days like that are probably going to be with you for the rest of your life. It is really, really important that you have someone around that you can talk to when it just seems like too much. I don't know you of course, but when I think about it, some of the people who reached out to me after my mom died I barely knew--but because they'd gone through it themselves, they knew what I was going through. I invite you to contact me any time to talk, if you'd like to. You can send me an email through Yahoo. Best wishes, and maybe what you most need to hear right now is that it does get quite a bit better--it just takes time and work.

Answer 2

I lost both my parents 3 months apart from each other a little over a year ago. It seems the process of mourning is a bit complicated. I started having night terrors, walking in my sleep, migraines, losing sight in one eye. All signs of stress. There were some days when I woke that I had forgotten that they had died. Then I would remember and mourn their deaths all over again. Only lately have I started seeing people that look like them. I rush through the stores and am always disappointed when it isn't them. Then I wonder if I'm just crazy or if this is another step. I should advise that I was also their caregiver, and was with both of them when they passed, so it was pretty traumatic. It is true what they say, remember them as they were and not when they died. What I witnessed will be with me always, as neither passed easily. I was finally diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. I think for me it was an end to a generation; and I didn't have the time to mourn one when I lost the other one. Within 3 months after 40+ years I am now an orphan. I am still reeling from losing them both. They were married 60 years when they passed and still deeply in love. It has altered me in ways that I will continue discover the rest of my days.

Answer 3

The pain never goes away. Over time it just doesn't feel as raw. You will always miss your dad. Don't ever let anyone tell you there is a time line for grief because it just isn't true. No two people grieve the same.

I don't know why you are having panic attacks. Just your way of dealing with things.

Sorry for the loss of your dad. Take care!!

Answer 4

Honey, I lost my father died Feb.2, 1992. I was 17 years old. He was my life. I was a daddy's girl. For the first 2 years it was hard. But time heals.
When I married it wasn't that bad. I honestly prayed for him to guide me, be there with me.
It actually hit me hard when I had my last child. I realized that he missed out on being a grandpa and my children missed out on having a grandpa. But I have really turned to God on these issues. My father was 40 when he died and that was just so young. I cant say that it will ever go away. It will hurt everyday. But you loving him and keeping him in your heart and mind keeps him alive. I have had a few times when I was upset and all I wished for was my dad to come take it away. But I found inner peace with it through GOD.

Sounds like you had a great father. He would want you to live your life.

Your dad can be with you in spirit if you ask him to. Just close your eyes and feel him there. I believe they watch over us. I have to believe that to go on everyday. But one day I know I will be with him again, just like you will be with yours.

Good luck with everything.

Answer 5

Sozzi to here about dat... but life ain't easy... i had the same when my cousin past away... but talk to everyone and share your thoughts and feelings with every1.... try not to keep anything inside you cause sometimes that can bother you... and try keeping doing the things you are scared of again and again and you soon will come over the fact... tell your partner everyything everynight and that will help and make your day go really well... I hope this helps...

Answer 6

Go to counseling and talk about your loss and fears. Maybe there were things left unsaid that you need to get off your chest. I would recommend starting a journal of thoughts and address them to your dad as if he were still there. This is a great way to relieve stress related to his death. I am sorry for your loss. It may take years before the pain goes away. Take care and God bless...

Answer 7

The pain will always be there but with time it gets easier to live with. Lost mine Dec 26 1999.

Answer 8

My mother died in 1993 from a sudden asthma attack which devastated me. For a long time I felt lost and my faith was tested in extremes. I didn't know what to believe in. I was very close with my mother. My mother is who told me of God.
Over the years I feel God has shown me signs of my mothers existence in the afterlife, least of all in my memory.
I hope and pray God and your dad will reveal themselves through patience and faith.

Answer 9

I will tell you what someone told me when I lost my father.
What makes you cry today will make you laugh in the future.
Do you think your Dad would want you to be so sad for so long?
Think of things to honor him. Give him the chance to rest in peace, give of yourself to others, live your life as he would of been proud to see.
Try your best to get help w/the panic attacks see someone to aid in this recovery.
Best of luck.

Answer 10

Sweetie you need to get professional help, someone who can help you sort out all the emotions your having. I miss my dad also, and I'm sure there is a lot of others out there who are missing a love one, so we are feeling your pain. Good luck.