I need the best joke youve ever heard, reguarding anything
2006-10-24 07:27:03 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
The President looks at the Vice President, chuckles,
and says, "You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out
the window right now and make somebody very happy."
The Vice President shrugs and says, "Well, I could
throw 10 $100 bills out the window and make 10 people
very happy."
Not to be outdone, the Secretary of Defense says, "Of
course, then, I could throw 100 $10 bills out the
window and make a hundred people very happy."
The pilot rolls his eyes and says to his co-pilot,
"Such arrogant asses back there. Hell, I could throw
the three of them out the window and make 56 million
people unbelievably happy."
2006-10-24 08:42:41 · answer #1 · answered by DeeLicious 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My Dear Wife,
You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel.
Please don't be upset - I shall be home before midnight."
When the man came home late that night, he found
the following letter on the dining room table:
My Dear Husband,
I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind
you that you are also 54 years old. As you know,
I am a math teacher a tour local college. I would like to inform you
that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael,
one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach.
He is young, virile, and like your secretary, is18 years old. As a
successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of Math, you will understand that we are in the same situation,
although with one small difference - 18 goes into 54 a lot
more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore, I will not be
home until sometime tomorrow."
2006-10-24 15:05:12 · answer #2 · answered by saliberry 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Read this on AskMen.com
Some Blondes Have all the Luck
Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet $20,000.00 on a single roll of the dice.
She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude." With that she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"
As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed, "YES! YES! I WON, I WON!"
She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.
The dealers starred at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"
The other answered, "I don't know. I thought you were watching."
MORAL:
Not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men.
2006-10-24 14:30:23 · answer #3 · answered by Tab 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
There was three kids at school one white, black and hispanic they all decided to play a game on who has the biggest D*** the hispanic pulled his out and then the white kid and then the black boy and of course the black boy's was biggest. So he went home that night and his mother asked him what he did in school today, he said well me and two other boys played the game "whoes d*** is biggest and I won. The boy asked his mom did I win because I am black, his mom says "no" you won because your 23.
2006-10-24 14:55:20 · answer #4 · answered by Kendra J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shocked Nuns....Read this funny................?
Three nuns were talking. The first nun said, "I was cleaning in Father's room the other day and do you know what I found? A bunch of pornographic magazines."
"What did you do?" the other nuns asked.
"Well, of course I threw them in the trash."
The second nun said, "Well, I can top that. I was in Father's room putting away the laundry and I found a bunch of condoms!"
"Oh my!" gasped the other nuns. "What did you do?" they asked.
"I poked holes in all of them!" she replied. The third nun fainted
2006-10-24 14:47:14 · answer #5 · answered by Pinky 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A blonde walks into a bar and says ouch!
2006-10-24 14:30:40 · answer #6 · answered by mmmkay_us 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why'd the super-models cross the road?
To get to me :)
2006-10-24 14:36:25 · answer #7 · answered by ☼Divine Wind☼ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
whats brown and sticky?
A stick!
Works very well when you've had a few to drink
2006-10-24 14:35:27 · answer #8 · answered by D8411 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
where do dogs get christmas presents....santa paws
2006-10-24 14:28:38 · answer #9 · answered by hardly_d 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
did you hear about the kidnapping?.........he woke up.
2006-10-24 14:30:13 · answer #10 · answered by generalavocado 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋