ago. She left him at birth. When she finally found him.He thought she was dead((long story)). He was in shock and decided to give her a chance so we met her drove all the way to meet her. She was great. Though she lived in GA and we lived in La. We talked over the phone.After talking to her for a few months she decided to wanna borrow a bunch of money and their was other problems so we stoped talking to her. When Katrina came we decided once again to give his mom a chance. We moved to GA and it was wonderful for him to be there we got to know his sister((16 years old))). However, his mom wanted to be mommy and didn't see he's a grown man. She didn't see me in the picture didn't think we should marry and when she found out we was pregnant a few months before the wedding. She hated that idea even more. My husband decided to leave. And loose contact with her. His sister was in a foster family because his mom drug problems. So I had my son. NOT DONE DON"T ANSWER TILL I ADD ALL DETAILS.
2006-10-24 07:01:32 · 9 answers · asked by Sondra 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
his sister was suck in a foster family we was going to get her. But his mom went insane over that as well. SO we left thinking well if his mom doesn't approve of his choices that's on her. Well, once I had my son I wanted his sister in his life again. I found her on myspace. She doesn't know alot of the details I don't want her to hate her mom. However she refuses to talk to us inless we talk to her mom 1st though she's still in foster family. My son doesn't deserve to not know his aunt because his grandma((hubby mom)) is a drug head and insane. What can I do to make his sister apart of our life without talkint to his mom??? Or what would you do if you was in my shoes
2006-10-24 07:05:39 · update #1
baby didn't come till after marriage. We had been planing the wedding for over 2 years and got pregnant had the wedding then the baby came.
2006-10-24 07:06:40 · update #2
we aren't taking her with us she is stayin in foster care that was a while ago but her mom thought we was trying to make his sister our child this is before the baby so we decided not to and she understood.
2006-10-24 08:15:07 · update #3
i think that you guys are so strong to have the paitence for dealing with this crap!!!! kudos to you!!! as to your situation i really think that you are just going to have to tell the sister some of why you all choose to not have contact with mom. dont just go all out on a mom bashing spree, but kind of sugar coat, or soften the edges of the situation. im sure that she is old enough to understand and to see 1st hand some of the problems that are going on in the household (especailly if she is now in foster care). But you also cant just expect her to be all happy with open arms that u guys are around, im sure that this girl has had problems in her childhood that could potentially prevent her from wanting to "open up" to you guys.
Have you thought of having any type of civil conversations with mom?? not necessarily in person, but over the phone...sometimes it is easier to communicate on the phone instead of actually seeing eachother in person...u know that whole visual attitude thing (eye rolling, head bobbing, arms crossed, facial expressions)...
& also sometimes things like this take time...lotts of time. you cant expect everything to fall in place just like that. this situation is very complicated and i think that it (realistically) will take years to have a good relationship with that side of his family. (im sure that there were alot of dissapointments, heartaches, and tears that came with this situation)
i wish you all the best in this situation...stay paitent, stay loving, and compasionate...
by the way, congrats on your marriage, and your baby...he is beautiful!!!!
2006-10-26 07:44:25 · answer #1 · answered by miss me! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The sister cannot dictate conditions under which you and your husband help her out. She is a child and has nothing to do with what's going on between you adults. If she thinks she has that kind of control over you all let her know that she is wrong and let her stay right there in foster care. You all shouldn't give her that kind of power over you! If she doesn't want to come live with you no strings attached, then leave her where she is. Her selfishness should show you that she will not appreciate anything that you would do for her now or ever and you might save yourself a bit of trouble by just leaving well enough alone. Consider what I am telling you seriously.
2006-10-24 07:14:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately you can't "make" anyone do anything they don't want to. As far as the mom goes, you can only do so much for people. there has to come a time when you say enough is enough. As far as the sister goes, unfortunately it's her choice too whether or not she wants a relationship with you guys. Have you tried talking to her and explaining why you don't talk to the mom? Maybe the mom is telling her stuff that's not true, maybe the sister doesn't realize all the stuff that happened. It's a tough situation and I wish I had better answers, but unfortunately you have to allow other people to have their opinions on the subject as well. Maybe you could try talking to the mother and explaining to her how she made you and your husband feel. I wish you the best of luck.
2006-10-24 07:11:37 · answer #3 · answered by Mrs. MP 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should accept his mom. You are being a wedge in the relationship between your husband and his mom. I had the same problem of my mom and my wife not getting along and when my mom died suddenly, it ruined our marriage. It became such a sore point that she wouldn't even allow me to grieve.
He has only one mom and if you think she wants to make him a mammas boy, who cares. She probably is misunderstood like my mom was and would love to have a daughter-in-law. I suggest you continue to make an effort or at least never criticize his mom. No guy likes that. We may joke about it, but that's about it. Take the high road.
2006-10-24 07:17:43 · answer #4 · answered by Rockford 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
my girl you are a wonderful person i think u should tell his sister some details but sort of leave the worst ones for later. and give her time to think things over and if possible get her the hell out of foster care she ,you and your husband deserves a happy life kiss the baby for me he is cute.
2006-10-24 07:11:57 · answer #5 · answered by aretha f 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whisper he will have to stop yelling to figure out what you are saying this only works if you are face to face. If you are on the phone just beep at him he might think you are crazy but at least he will shut up and let you talk. Sounds stupid but is is a technique used by police in dealing with domestic violence situations the whispering I mean I have never heard them beep at people.
2016-05-22 08:16:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure maybe see the sister face to face talk to her tell her(depends on age) I thought it was a good idea to adopt her!
2006-10-24 07:09:05 · answer #7 · answered by Kiss 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
And you have a baby before marriage because?
2006-10-24 07:03:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
ask hem
2006-10-24 07:13:26 · answer #9 · answered by alison g 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋