i'm trying to do my wedding on a budget, and i need to know if that would offend any of my guests.
2006-10-24 06:58:49 · 397 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I didn't read too many of your other answers (you have 52 up to this point).
Yes, it would be taboo to ask guests to pay.
My wife and I were married at 2:00pm. The reception was from 3:00 - 5:00 and we just had appetizers and an open bar at the resort where we were staying. It was much cheaper than a meal.
My wife and I left at 5:00 for our honeymoon suite. People started leaving then to go find dinner (which kept our bar tab down). My wife and I ran up to our room, changed, kissed, hugged, etc. and ran down for dinner with our families at 6:00pm.
It was a nice way to avoid paying for dinner for all the guests. But, the time frame kept anyone from expecting a meal.
2006-10-24 10:08:40 · answer #1 · answered by trigam41 4 · 23⤊ 3⤋
Unfortunately there are those that would say it is not only taboo and tacky but rude considering the fact they are already putting money in to a gift and possibly new clothes and travel. A better and more economic idea is a buffet. No servers automatically reduces your cost and the buffet can be a lot cheaper like a pasta, Swedish, or Mexican fare. If that is still out of budget have a light supper of soup and salad or tea sandwiches, cheeses and fruits,with the cake, ice tea, coffee and lemon aid no open bar will also save you a bundle. Asking folks to pay for their own booze is never a bad idea. Talk to a caterer or two get some good bids and plan accordingly.
BTW - That's what I do for a side job-Cater and any worth their salt can help you plan a lovely meal and stay to your budget.
The most important thing is not to let people oversell you - if you are having a small affair and want it in your yard do it - don't let anyone convince you to spring for the Astoria if it's not your desire or budget. There is a helpful book "Everythings wedding on a Budget" by Barbara Cameron available at most libraries and there are tons more resources on theknot.com and other wedding sites. Good Luck!
2006-10-25 13:59:08 · answer #2 · answered by Walking on Sunshine 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you keep in mind that the invited Guests will be giving you a wedding gift, and that you are inviting them to share with you the joy of finding your life partner, would you still think they should pay for the meal? If you must budget then have a buffet or some other arrangment for a meal that is less elabotate or formal, no one will be offended at that.Often the cost of wedding is cut by having in the summer and either outside your home, a garden wedding or inside if there is a finished rec room downstairs. Whatever you decide to do Have a blessed and Happy Wedding Day that will be long remembered
2006-10-25 11:09:37 · answer #3 · answered by pooterilgatto 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
By no means are you allowed to do that! It would offend everyone and embarass family as well as yourself (even the thought should!)! If you can't afford a reception have a tea style reception were guset just have snacks, wedding cake and perhaps a single toast and a short social hour after the wedding. If you really want to have a dinner have a small private dinner with just a small group of family members, who are decreetly informed, later that night and pay for the entire thing including a 2nd cake to be cut.
Another option that I have seen and attended was a potluck reception which is very old world but endearing in the church reception hall. There was no band but there was music played and it was fun. I only heard of one person disappointed and she was in the bridal party and claimed the bride family was of wealth and the bride was being cheap. Also the guests had the option of choosing what they wanted to eat or not eat. And many asked for recipes from each other. These options can be worked into a budgeted wedding.
You don't need to try to impress and go in deep debt with your wedding! You can also cut budget by the flowers you select (pick in season or something that doesn't have to be flown from Central America, Holland, etc. for example at the time of year you wed. Also do your own flowers or get a floral student to help you for recognition and little or no pay. Same goes with the photographer. Search your nearby Art Schools for both, get recommedation from speaking to staff and viewing the student work. Buy the film for them - choose professional grade film. Limit the size of your wedding party (who you should gifted by the way-but doesn't need to be expensive but should show sentiment and thought on your part). And there is always the option of Eloping or Justice of the Peace. Best wishes.
2006-10-24 20:16:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would definitely be offensive. It's like inviting someone to dinner and asking them to bring their own food. "Guest" means exactly that.
Also, as someone who planned her wedding on a budget, keep this in mind: Do you want a wedding or do you want a marriage.
Weddings are highly overrated and stressful. My husband and I had a budget that we were sticking to, which included a very limited guest list. My Mom had a small fit, so I told her "We're paying this for our wedding. If you want to spend your money over and above our budget, then that's up to you." So, she paid for the reception, the slip covers for the chairs, etc. The best thing about our wedding was the wedding bands we found at Costco.
If you can't afford to have the wedding you want, then scale it down. Make sure that the marriage is the priority. Your wedding day will not be the happiest day of your life; if it were, what else would you have to look forward to?
If I'd had it to do all over again, we would have eloped and just had a party later.
2006-10-25 03:17:16 · answer #5 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you were to charge people to eat they wouldn't be guests, they'd be spectators. It would be no different than a club or sporting event.
That has to be the single most tacky wedding idea I've ever heard. As many have said there are so many ways to have a nice, inexpensive reception that won't cut you off from your friends and family for the rest of your life. It would be better to have just cake and punch than to ask people to pay for a meal. I wouldn't even agree to go to a wedding where I had to pay for a meal let alone get the bride and groom a gift. I'm generous to couples who get married but I wouldn't be if you were so obviously money-grubbing about the event.
An idea maybe (and if it was suggested before, my apologies I didn't read all the answers) would be to go to several close, trusted relatives and ask if they would (instead of giving you a wedding gift) would mind making a specialty of theirs to bring to the event and serve it buffet style.
Also, I did my wedding on a Friday night and got a huge discount from the hall I had it in. Look around at different locations and see if they have "off peak" times they can offer you to cut the price.
If you absolutely must have a catered dinner, go buffet style and try having an apron dance to recoup some of the money you put out.
2006-10-25 01:46:28 · answer #6 · answered by RoseyStar 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your wedding should be something you can afford. Your guest list should be limited to people you can afford to provide refreshment for. If you can not afford to provide a full meal for your guests, cut your guest list or change the time to a non-meal time. There is nothing wrong with a cake and punch reception. Very few people go to weddings just to get a free meal, they attend to celebrate the joy of the newly married couple. Other than a gift, there are other costs for a guest to attend a wedding (clothes, travel, etc). If you feel people are just there for the meal, don't invite them. There is no way to word it that is not going to make you look rude, harsh, tacky, ignorant, etc. Most people would not attend a wedding where they were expected to pay. They are your guests, treat them as such. If you do go through with your plans, there is a plus side. Your friends and family will see how awful you really are. You will be mocked and ridiculed for years to come. Long after your divorce is final you will still be known as the tacky bride.
2016-03-18 23:32:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it will offend about 99% of your guests. My sister just had a wedding and that cost a lot. But here are some ways that you can reduce costs:
Have a buffet or appetizers rather then a "sit down and be served"
Don't have an open bar
Do a lunch reception rather then dinner
Have your wedding off season
Select a menu that will reduce costs
Invite a smaller group - only your closest friends
Shop around for reception halls
OR the best Idea yet . . .
Have the reception at home or at a friends's place who has the extra space.
if it's a summer wedding, you can have a more relaxed wedding & reception at a park . . . make it a bit of a distance and in the deep woods . . .and hire a catering team that can make good cheap food
but please, whatever you do - do not charge your guests for food
2006-10-25 13:39:13 · answer #8 · answered by phillyboy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you'd have many acceptances (and even fewer wedding gifts) if you were to carry out this plan!
If you want to have a 'budget' wedding, why not limit the guest list to immediate family and a few of your closest friends, then either ask the hotel (or wherever you are holding the reception) to provide a simple finger buffet with a glass or two of inexpensive wines.... OR, see if some of your relatives (friends?) would be willing to prepare a slightly better meal (for which you and your fiance' pay the raw material costs), and hold the post wedding party in a relative's or friend's house.
Either arrangement would avoid you and your fiance' getting the reputation of being a 'meanies'!
Anyway, good luck in your future life - whatever wedding meal arrangement you make.
2006-10-25 00:44:14 · answer #9 · answered by avian 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nah, don't ask people to pay for their meal. What you do is - and this is what was very common in my extended family until I came along and would have nothing to do with this kind of practice - you just get your mother gossiping about how much you will be spending on everyone's meal and presence at the wedding so that people will feel obliged to give you a gift (in merchandise or cash) that is equal to or greater than the cost of each meal. Think of it as an investment. That's what people in my family do or did. Personally, I think the whole idea is repulsive. If you can't afford a huge wedding and expensive meals in the first place and don't like to think of your wedding as a business transaction, then have a small wedding with close family and friends, and make it a potluck thing. You'll remember that fondly for years to come, and not just because you're still paying for it!
:)
2006-10-24 16:24:00 · answer #10 · answered by Kwyjibo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah. That would be a real gaffe. If you can't afford to pay for your guests' meals, then ask fewer guests or plan simpler meals. Rather than a sit-down dinner, have the wedding earlier in the day and have a buffet with finger foods. Or have the wedding in your back yard and serve a picnic style meal. There are lots of innovative ways around this problem, so get creative!
Good luck to you, and congratulations on the wedding.
2006-10-24 15:04:41 · answer #11 · answered by old lady 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋