I am madly in love with my finacee and he is more than madly in love with me. We are really wonderful for each other and very supportive. My heart tells me that he is my true love, the one. But my mind is saying something different. He is a different religion than I am and neither of us want to change our faith. When I talk to my friends and loved ones about us, they are very disagreable with his religion and culture. I believe that they are going on stereoypes, but some of my friends also married into this religion and culture and tell me that once we are married he will totally change and become very dominant. I am concerned about that and have talked to him about it. He doesn't believe that will happen. I can't get what they say out of my mind, and I want to make the best choice for both of us.
Am I just being silly?
What is the more important thing to follow, what your mind thinks or what your heart wants?
Thank you for your time!
2006-10-24 06:58:30 · 17 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You should listen to your heart because if you listen to your mind then you could loose your true love and be miserable for the rest of your life and you will be married to a guy you cant stand. So please just listen to your heart because he is the one you love! Good Luck!!
2006-10-24 07:02:30 · answer #1 · answered by crazybayb20 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly... listen to your mind, as your heart can be easily fooled.
Now that having been said... I don't think that your mind has the right idea.
Look how long have you known this man? if it has been say longer than a year (just guessing because you two are engaged) then I would say that he is no longer on his best behavior (like he was when you first got together) and you probably have a good indication of who he is inside, and how he will be more or less forever.
Now people can change, but I don't buy the sinister he is just waiting for you to marry him so he can dominate you crap. That is just scare tactics based on stereotypes about muslims (I am guessing that he is a muslim correct?)
Peoples hearts can let them ignore the things that their heads tell them, and you and your fiancee need to have an open and honest conversation about religions and your EXPECATIONS of how life will be given your differing points of view. For example going with my muslim thing, will he expect you to never eat pork? or to wear a veil? or to observe rammadan? (spelling?)
When you have children will they have to observe it? And therefore will you have to at that time?
These are all serious discussions about sober topics that bear directly on if you guys can make it work long term. However, you should have these discussions and reserve judgement on them.
The reason is that you should listen to both your head and your heart and realize that your head maybe overly cynical and your heart overly optimistic, try and find a middle ground.
But don't ignore the things your head is telling you because those will be issues that will come up.
Good luck and I hope this helps.
2006-10-24 07:07:47 · answer #2 · answered by Teclis98 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before I read the extra comments my immediate thought was your mind because your heart only "feels" what typically the brain interperates as love. You are lucky that your brain hasn't been clouded by your heart.
I'm no expert but logic tells us that if two people feel strongly about two very different religions then those beliefs could definately present real problems down the road. Even big differences in culture alone could come between two people of different culture.
If you are unsure then you shoud wait until you are sure. Take time to consider and discuss the big differences between the two religions and consider how you will deal with these differences. And don't forget you better agree on how you will raise your children before you have children. This could really create a huge problem.
2006-10-24 07:07:24 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Healthy dose of both I'd say. Love doesn't pay the bills but lives in the heart. It's important to remember the the 3 things that break people up are politics, religion, and money. So you have a right to worry about the issue.
Otherwise, love is yours and it can overcome some extreme obstacles.
He's already your fiancee, why think about anything else? If you have the blessing of both families, it genereally will work.
2006-10-24 07:04:20 · answer #4 · answered by MisterO 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Many people confuse the definition of love. Many will say it's a wonderful feeling that you can't describe. In truth, love is a decision and a verb that requires action to keep it. We can almost always agree that making decisions based on emotion will end up as being a poor choice. Use your intellect and decide whether or not you want to be with this person the rest of your life and you can live with your differences or not. Love is a decision, infatuation is a feeling. Go with your mind...
2006-10-24 07:15:38 · answer #5 · answered by odieman42 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I believe that when you are truly in love your mind has nothing to do with it. You start thinking with your heart. And even though sometimes your heart can mislead you, you should always trust it. If you truly loved him, would any of this be a problem? Or is all that matters is that you will be with the one you love and you will have the rest of your life to fix the problems that arise? If you believe that he loves you like you love him, do you think he will change? I cant say he will or not, only you or someone who truly knows him can help you with that. But if you trust him enough to marry him, then trust him enough to give him a chance. Life is too short to live on what ifs... take a chance... nothing in life is for sure..
2006-10-24 07:07:04 · answer #6 · answered by Livin the life.. 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know about presently or even once married how this difference will affect your lives. But then - do you want to have children? How will your different religions affect the lives of your children. Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart smartly. And a difference in religious beliefs isn't something truly terrible to live through - or so I think. You just really have to ask youself how it will affect every aspect of your future - and if those are things you can live with. Good luck!
2006-10-24 07:03:17 · answer #7 · answered by Rebecca 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do you doubt a man who is madly in love with you. Would you prefer a man who showed less?. Religion starts at home first. You must be able to respect his religion and get him to do the same for you. Seeking the help from friends is good but to certain extent for everyone will not come up with the same answers.What matters most is what you think about him. It is in your hands to make it work and make your marriage what you want it to be.
2006-10-24 07:14:54 · answer #8 · answered by stewart j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's not because it feel good that it's right you know?
religion is a very delicatwe subject for everyone
it's still taboo,try to get to know the religion a little bit
more before engagging to much in the relationship
it would'nt be fair to marry someone and totally not
supported him,i'm sure it's very difficult but the heart
is not always right,but you're doubt about this will make
you wonder all you're life or trough this relationship.
good luck
isabelle
2006-10-24 07:09:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What matters most is what your heart says. when the mind admits defeat, the heart still holds feelings. the heart has more perseverence than the mind. it's like comparing faith to science. though science denies it, those who believe in something continue to believe in it. stick in there. if your heart holds on to it, the mind can make the dream a reality. good luck.
2006-10-24 07:03:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋