My ex fiance' slept with my whore cousin (she slepts with anything that looks at her.......apparently that boosts her self esteem). I found out because we all worked together and they we messing around on day shift with each other while I was by myself on night shift. I found out cause they left work early together one day. I was calling him and he wasn't answering. I finally called her and asked. I was like look slut, for the sake of my kick did you sleep with him. She was like oops yea sorry, we are just friends. *****..I didn't talk to him a while after that, then he called and begged me to talk to him. So I gave in. We have a kid together and my daughter missed him. We have been together after this all happened for over a year now. We have known eachother for 3. I dont trust him to this day. Funny cause he doesn't trust me now either because of what he did. He opened his eyes up to the world of cheating, now he questions me. Jack ***. I do care for him though. Any tips?
2006-10-24 06:44:59 · 37 answers · asked by luv4airy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
In regard to the "fatherless home" statistics - this guy doesn't qualify as a Father. Staying with him doesn't do any good for your child. Your daughter is better off with out him and from the sound of it, so are you. To allow yourself to remain in such a situation is to tell your daughter that being treated this way is acceptable when she is at dating age. Your cousin might be promiscuous but any decent man knows how to be faithful. He is projecting his faults onto you and you don't deserve that. Don't cause a scene - just do what you need to do. Either be a grown woman and leave for the sake of your daughter or talk to him and explain that both you and his daughter deserve better & seek couples counseling. There are plenty of good men out there. Don't clutch onto one that's not worth keeping.
2006-10-24 06:50:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cheaters rarely remain faithful. Sound like u blame your cousin more than him. You don't say how old each of U R? Nor the child involved. Bottom line, don't waste ur time fighting with him about cheating. He'll never tell the truth. Accept this fact, find someone who is nice and will be a positive role model for your child.
Hopefully, your ex can be a decent Dad. Don't use your baby as a weapon to control him either. Both of u need to put this child's needs first. Sometimes it means as the Mom you don't have a guy, you don't always get to go out. But time and getting your life in stable situation should be the priority. Your fighting will affect your child, don't change her. Give her the opportunity of two parents who have their own lives but love her to be respectful of each other. That may be very difficult in the beginning. Good luck & don't let sweet talking, great sex interfer with your self worth and the stability of a happy home with your child.
2006-10-24 07:01:11 · answer #2 · answered by Staci 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If a guy cant respect you enough to be loyal leave him. It takes two people to cheat so its not completely your cousin fault. Face it your man chose to be with her and jeopardize what you two have together he is not worth it. Once a cheater always a cheater. And the fact that he is trying to turn things around and question you only shows how low he really is. All you have to do is tell him to get lost and that just because he made a mistake it does not mean that you are going to follow his foot steps. After all you know the pain that is felt when some one cheats on you and you would not wish that upon anyone else.
2006-10-24 06:58:53 · answer #3 · answered by M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I would forgive him. However, I would not remain with him.
And as for your cousin whom you call a whore...well, your man was being a whore as well. Don't just blame her. It took two to get that swirl on.
We, as women have a habit of taking it out on the other woman and not the man too. We are quick to forgive the man, but not the woman. Why is that? Is it because we are desperate for a man? Whatever the case, both were at fault.
"I dont trust him to this day. Funny cause he doesn't trust me now either because of what he did..."
Without trust, you basically don't have a relationship. You may be holding on to a dream or your expectations of what - ifs.
Learn to be honest with yourself.
Be blessed.
2006-10-24 07:02:27 · answer #4 · answered by Decent 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope. I wouldn't have taken him back. He obviously has no respect for you to sleep with another women, and not just any other woman - your own cousin. If that's not total disregard for your feelings and total disrespect then I don't know what is.
Doesn't matter if your cousin's a whore either. You ex has a mind of his own and should have respected you enough to not even entertain the notion.
If you stay with him, he'll just do it again. Because this is the ultimate betrayal and you obviously don't seem to mad about it.
2006-10-24 06:59:20 · answer #5 · answered by 11:11 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a true believer in what is meant will be. if this guy is cheating and no less with a family member of yours; he isn't worth the time of day. The right guy is somewhere out there for you and you deserve better. Trust comes with time and if it is broken , it is a hard thing to recover. I don't know this guy personally, but I have dealt with guys like him before, they cheat and lie and then turn it around on you to ease their guilty, selfish conscious. Drop him like a bad habit and move on.Good luck and I hope all works out for you.
2006-10-24 06:56:40 · answer #6 · answered by softlyinspired 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, he cheated on you with your cousin? Can anyone say "Jerry, Jerry!"
But seriously, if you take him back, do so with the expectation that he will cheat again, and again. Doesn't mean he doesn't love you. Just means he likes to have sex with other women. Accept that or end it because if you take him back on the condition that he'll never cheat again, you'll be setting yourself up for disappointment and end up going through this drama again.
Even if you decide you can't stay with him because of his cheating, you should make sure to encourage your daughter to have a positive relationship with him if he's a reasonably responsible dad.
2006-10-24 06:52:41 · answer #7 · answered by Rob B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well forgiving him is totally up to you,but don't stay with
the guy for the kid,but if you really love him,there's alot
of trust issue here an accusing the other back and forth
is not doing any good,but at some point if you want to
stay together you will have too get along.cheating is
never o.k and revenge is no better also.you're not
doing a favor for you're child by staying with him,maybe
i not sorry then he does'nt respect you,..it's you to judge
take care
isabelle
2006-10-24 06:54:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you don't trust then leave him. I know you all have a daughter together, but I'm sure he can still be a good father as long as you two make an arrangement of visitation. You shouldn't have to go through this emotional abuse because of his infidelity. He feels guilty and that's why he thinks you may cheat on him. I say, leave him.
2006-10-24 06:48:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The trust issue in this relationship is gone. Your best bet is to cut your losses, and get out. He sounds a bit immature, and he is not ready to settle down, and if he does not trust you either, you are fighting a losing battle. You need to leave him, and start to make a better life, for you and your child! The reason he does not trust you, is because he can't trust himself!
2006-10-24 06:54:34 · answer #10 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋