Living together: good idea or bad idea?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been going out for two months. I'm 23, and he's my first relationship, and was even my first kiss - I know, it's crazy! Anyway, in January we're planning on moving away from home to a city and getting a house with a friend or two. We're even thinking of having our own bedrooms. This move isn't just to get away from home, but to find better jobs - we're both in film, and film doesn't happen in small towns. If we move there seperately, we'd visit each other all the time. It would be more financially beneficial to live together, right?

My question is, for those of you who've done the "living together" thing, is this a good set-up and idea? He's not just my boyfriend, he's my friend, you know? And I think we'd be wonderful roommates. But is this a disaster waiting to happen, even though I can't foresee anything bad happening now?

Thank you!

Answer 1

It's potentially good and bad: As with anything there are risks as well as rewards.

Living with a significant other before thinking about marriage or something like that gives you chance to see what it would be like to live with that person for the rest of your life. Depending on the particular characteristics of each individual this could make a relationship stronger or destroy it completely. It could be that you two continue to get along wonderfully but it could also be that you get in each other's nerves because of lack of personal space/privacy, etc.

In your case I think it could be a good idea, a new adventure. For one you could save money on rent and other things. You may learn about compromising, standing your ground, and working toward a common goal. Therefore I would suggest you try it out, worse case scenario you end up moving out and losing a friend, it would be hard but it's not the end of the world.

Good luck

Answer 2

Never done it. Never will. I think that it's bad all around. What happens when you break up ? Can you still live in the same house or same room ? What if he dumps you and then brings his new girl home ? Does that sound like a good situation ? You said that he's your first relationship and first kiss. That is hardly enough life experience to judge a potential live in on. My father lived with a lady for 18 months before marriage. If I remember correctly, the marriage lasted less than six months. So no, I don't believe the " try it before you buy it method '' either. When he stops being your boyfriend, he will also stop being your friend.

Answer 3

you will have to find out how this relation will work out eventually (and better do that before marriage, if that isn't against your principles). So.. why not go for it? It might be wise to each have your own space, in case he isn't all that great having him around on a daily basis // you can't live up to his expectations. Getting a house with some friends and each have a room for yourself might be a wonderful way to find out. That way you will have the best of two options: you can be as close as you want and you will still have your own space if things don't work out all that great.

Good luck! Greetings from Holland!

Answer 4

been there; done that. and it's not all bad, and if you get seperate rooms, it'll be even better for the 2 of you.

it will help you maintain your individuality and keep you from becoming dependant on each other for what you should be looking to new friends for.

Saving expenses is the reason I did it, and that was 20 years ago. But, I lost myself in his lifestyle and friends, and it wasn't the smartest thing to do. or the healthiest.

if you remember to stay true to yourself and keep friends that are not just his friends, and vice a versa; as well as the other areas of your lives, church, sports, etc, what ever your interests are; you should do fine, and the sharing of expenses can only help you out.

by the way, I ended up marrying my guy a year later.

.

Answer 5

You have only been together for two months.. It takes a long time to get to know someone.. I moved in with my husband after 6 months.. Honestly I should have waited.. We got married after a year and at 2 years we had a baby.. Now we are going through a separation.. Trust me you need to be on your own first.. He may not be the one.. If you are going to move in the house you should lay rules first and then you should both have your own room.. this way you have a place to go to just to be by urself..

Answer 6

I was in your shoes 11 years ago at the time I was not ready for marriage so me and my sole mate moved in together and have been together ever since and we are still single. It is a blessing to have him around. My opinion is that you don't have the stress of marriage hanging over your head and you enjoy each other so much more. By the way he was my first blind date. Go for it and Good Luck

Answer 7

I HAVE BEEN IN THIS SITUATION BEFORE I HAD BEEN DATING A GUY 2 MONTHS AND WE BOTH MOVED IN WITH MY BROTHER AND HIS GF SO RENT WOULDNT BE SO HARD TO COME UP WITH AND AT FIRST IT WAS OKAY BUT IT ISNT EASY BY NO MEANS.ME AND MY BOYFRIEND FINALLY GOT A PLACE OF OUR OWN AND NEEDLESS TO SAY IT WAS A MISTAKE. IT WAS TO SOON TO BE LIVING TOGETHERHONESTLY IF YOU REALLY LIKE THE GUY AND WANT TO SEE WHERE THINGS COULD POSSIBLE GO I THE FUTURE I WOULDNT DO IT. I PERSONALLY WOULD GIVE IT TIME.


GOOD LUCK

Answer 8

I would live in another place with other roommates and get together and date if you want the relationship to progress.

Answer 9

I recommend not doing it. Because it's like a marriage with an easy way out. It will become more and more casual then eventually die.

Answer 10

i think it is too soon..
i moved in with my hubby after a year of being together and it is great b/c we are the perfect match...
alot of people dont do so good...it depends on how compatible you guys are.