What Is Your Experience With Bipolar Disorder?

Question

My husband was diagnosed with bipolar disorder about 4 years ago. He has tried a mixture of medications, therapy, hospitalization, etc. Through these years, nothing has seemed to work for him. He is either very depressed (sleeps all of the time, feels, worthless, has thoughts of death) or very manic. (Can take on the world, comes up with master plans,.sings & dances, etc) Recently, he will not schedule his appointments. He needs to be re-evaluated but they will not let me schedule for him. Any ideas? Have you had marital problems because of this disorder? How about your children? What issues have come with that? I need some help with this, as I feel so alone and so frustrated.

Answer 1

You need to open up to a friend or a relative. If that is impossible, see a shrink. To be honest, I'm more worried about you. It must be hard to live with someone who has such a disorder and do all you can to make things better. Stick by your husband and help him get through this. Looking after patients requires patience.

Answer 2

I used to work at a mental health clinic and have seen many bipolar diagnoses. Unfortunately with this disorder, you will constantly have to be changing medications. Once the body gets used to a medication or the maximum dosage is reached another medication needs to be prescribed. You may get lucky and find one that will work for a year or more but it's not typical. You really need to get him back to the doctor. Pull the family card, tell him he needs to do it for you and your children. Bipolar people are sick, not totally unaware of what's going on around them. I've seen marriages break up because of this disorder but it doesn't have to end up that way. As for yourself and your children, there are support groups out there for people affected by the disorder. I advise that you get involved in those groups with your children. You are not alone in all of this. All in all, it's your ultimate decision whether you feel that it's worth it to subject yourself and your children to the constant mood swings. It can be controlled but your husband has to want to get better before you can do anything for him.

Answer 3

I know exactly what you're going through. My husband is bipolar, and has stopped taken his meds. at least 3 times during our marriage of 15 yrs. It was horrible - I had no idea that being bipolar could cause such chaos. he takes lithium now and klonopin for his anger - He, too, gets into that depressive state of not doing anything, feeling terrible abouthimself, etc. I make most of the decisions here now, and because he gets so fearful so easily, I usually speak for him. I make his dr. appts., sits in with him during visits, etc. I, also, feel very alone in dealing with this. I love him dearly, but it is an emotional drain. I wish I had some easy answers for you, but there's not any. Try to keep him busy, make him feel worthwhile and take some credit for his actions. Your husband needs to stay on his medication - Get him to talk about how he feels. Only recently, has my husband started doing that, and it's helped.

Answer 4

My cousin was diagnosed with bipolar disorder from when he was a teenager and has been in therapy ever since and honestly the only thing that you can do is stand by him and try to keep his mind as busy as possible on functonal things, make him feel like the most mundane tasks that he is doing everyday is so full of worth. the worst point for someone with bipolar is to feel like nobody needs them because that is the point where they begin to think of suicide and you do not want that to happen. try to get him involved in helping out in the community somehow, something that takes alot of time and commitment but is not too much of a challenge and there is plenty of things in any community to do regarding this. You need to surround him with love all the time and dont try to keep the kids away from him because this will have a bad outcome for how they view others in life with disorders similiar to bipolar.

Answer 5

My daughter became bipolar after her boyfriend in a drunken rage tried to kill her and she suffered severe brain trauma. At first she went to therapy, a psychiatrist, was on a mixture of medications, and still couldn't care for her child. Now she is sort of self medicating, her regular dr prescribes the meds, but she adjusts the dose when she doesn't like the way she feels. Her moods are fairly even, but she still has trouble with impulse spending. Even though she lives at home and has no expenses except her car payment, she has trouble living between paychecks. She gets paid every two weeks and can't seem to save enough in between for lunch or gas money. She hasn't seen a psychologist or psychiatrist in several years, and her parenting skills are extremely poor. My husband and I realize we may always have to care for her and our grandson. When she is home after work, she is either on the phone, the computer, or watching soaps, sometimes all three at once. As much as we understand her, she frustrates us to no end.

Answer 6

There are two types of Bipolar Disorder. People with this problem are classified as 1 or 2. Bipolar 2's are much easier to live with but it sounds like your husband is a 1. A 1 does not think there is anything wrong with them and will not stay on medication. I am a 2 and I faithfully stay on my meds. I take Trileptal as my main med and I could not do without it.

My wife and I divorced due to my bipolar disorder before I got help for it. We have since remarried and have a happy life as long as I take my meds. I was so sick of the way I was that it is no prob for me to go to MD or to take meds. I still have mood swings but they are not as bad as when I was not on meds. My meds out of sync a few weeks ago and it took a trip to the M.D. to get them back in sync.

A 1 is much harder to manage. They have to realize they have a life-long problem and they must stay on meds. My son is a 1 and getting him to stay on meds is almost impossible. It drives his wife crazy because he takes his meds until he is feeling better then decides he does not need them any more.

Bipolar is like being a alcoholic - - as long as you don't think you have a problem (being in denial) you won't go get anything done. It is always someone else's fault that you are having problems. It took a divorce for me to wake up and realize it was me that had the problem and that I had to do something about it. No one else could do anything for me - I had to take action.

Being on meds and having a caretaker in Stephen Ministry saved my life and got me back on track.

I will pray that your husband sees the light and realizes HE is the one that has to take action. I will also pray for you because I know what you are going through.

Answer 7

I have Bi-polar 1 with psychotic episodes. Believe me, I'm not easy to live with. It has destoyed 1 relationship, many friendships and even made family bitter and angry.
It's hard for him right now. Maybe he has a good friend or another family member with your help can convince him to seek further treatment.
The last 2 times I was hospitalized, friends convinced me to seek help, I wouldn't even let my family near me or come to the hospital to visit. I was scared that I would let them down again just by being sick.
He needs your love and support now. Although you need love and support too.
You might want to see if there is a local support group in your area for people with mental illness. Some hospitals have support groups. Good luck and stay strong.

Answer 8

My husband's cousin is BP. He has had some very serious issues with suicide attemps because he refuses to take his meds correctly. In fact a couple of nights ago he hung himself. He has attempted suicide several times, but he got pretty close this time. He is going to be institutionalized. He's only 21. Sad huh? Anyways, my advice, if you think your husband is in danger of harming himself or someone else would be to seek power of attorney so you can make all of his medical decisions regardless of HIPPA laws. I would check with an attorney to see what you can do legally to have run of his medical care. And mainly, pray. Or if you don't believe in prayer, I would suggest you call a local church and ask them to pray. You'll see a change of some sort.

Answer 9

My experience is that it never occured to my shrink to ask about my drug and alcohol abuse. Once I got sober and quit using my body like a chemistry set, I was fine.

The symptoms of alcohol addiction are EXACTLY the same as bipolar disorder, even when the alcoholic is not drinking, because the damage has been done. Recovery (meaning AA) helped me tremendously.

But I have friends who aren't so lucky. They actually have organic mental disorders and going off their meds can cause them to have a psychotic break from reality. It sucks.

Answer 10

Bipolar runs in my family. My aunt committed suicide (this was before bipolar was viewed as a mental illness) and my brother is currently being treated. Don't give up on him or your marraige. It is treatable. Go to www.managebipolar.com for some good advice. Find a counselor for you and your kids if the spouse won't go. Just don't give up and keep loving him. Have faith in God and yourself. Good luck and I'll keep you in my prayers.