I feel after my marriage of 34 yrs that I cant trust men But men seem to be taking alot of advantage of me Wanting sex from me and wanting my attention But I hate what is happening I am in a new relationship The man I am with says he loves me and only wants me but he is still emailing his LDR He says it is to help her to get thru her schooling As she will be going thru a divorce in April of next yr Am I wrong for feeling like he shouldnt be contacting her at all or am I wrong......He knows and so do I that she will need her schooling for a good job But I just feel like he likes her still and dont want to give up on her Gut feeling
2006-10-24 06:20:19 · 8 answers · asked by chubbycheeks012003 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
"When does the hate stop?" Ah, hate is a powerful and dangerous thing. It can eat you alive and is hardly ever productive. However, you DO need to protect and look out for yourself. I totally can understand why you feel you can not trust men. A LOT of men CAN NOT be trusted, but then when you find one that can be trusted- it can be wonderful. Discerning which one your latest man is- is definitely part of the hard part. It is rarely good to give ultimatives, but you may just want to say to your man: "Hey, your e-mailing this woman really hurts me. I realize you think it will "get her through" her schooling, but SHE needs to "get through" her schooling ON HER OWN or by the help of her OTHER friends who are NOT involved with someone. Hopefully this other woman will have other friends she can rely on besides YOUR man. I think it is a VERY SCARY situation that your boyfriend wants to maybe help her through her divorce in April, too! Yes, she will need her schooling for a good job, but that is not your OR your boyfriend's job. It is HER job to get through her schooling and get a decent job. I would go with your gut instinct here, not anyone else's. Maybe you could explain to your boyfriend a little (or a lot, it's really up to you) about your past BAD experiences with men (especially the marriage of 34 years) and explain that you are not trying to tell him who he can and can't talk with, but this is very important to you. Is he giving you any red flags about your relationship. Take note of this and please do not let ANYONE take advantage of you. You are better than that! Trust is a difficult and hard thing, especially when your trust has been broken. OPEN and HONEST communication with your new love is best. Like I said, try explaining to him in a gentle way how important this is to you and maybe go from there.
If this brings up another question in your mind, go ahead and ask another question here on the yahoo question and answers, if it helps you.
Good luck!
2006-10-24 06:46:51 · answer #1 · answered by asylum07 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should be worrying yourself over a man at this point anyway. You left a marriage of 34 years, please give yourself time to get to know you. Don't you think you deserve this after all that time? Be good to you right now, learn to love you. Men are going to come and go, some good , some not so good, but there will only be one you. Travel, be good to yourself, be with friends and wow, just enjoy life. The man for you will be waiting, just make sure he is worthy of you. My dear, get out there and give this big, beautiful world a run for the money.
2006-10-24 13:28:02 · answer #2 · answered by june clever 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he has no business trying to help another woman once he is with you. no its not you that is controlling its him. if she wants to go to school bad enough shell stick it out. he needs to respect you. you are not wrong for the way you feel. most men are dogs and cant be trusted. i see it happen to women everyday. men always say its women too but its the men that got us this way. so trust yourself and dump him if he cant respect you. dont settle. life is to short. dont be afraid to be alone. it will be better being alone than to be with a man and still feel like you are alone. yes you was hurt in the past and so was i . so learn from that experience and let your knowledge guide you.
2006-10-24 13:32:23 · answer #3 · answered by eaglestraces123 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not wrong.....my boyfriend had a lot of female friends that he had conversations with prior to our meeting. He has stopped all communication with them with the exception of a couple, but these other women are fully aware of our relationship, and were never love interests. My question to you would be has he told this other person he's in a relationship with you? If not then perhaps you should suggest he do so, just to set the record straight with her that he is not available, if he is not willing to do that, then I would find another man to spend time with that would be willing to make his relationship with you known.
2006-10-24 13:28:06 · answer #4 · answered by ne_patriots2005 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have trust issues much like your own . Only that I find it hard to trust another woman . Go with our Gut
2006-10-24 13:24:10 · answer #5 · answered by Peace of Mind 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe he really likes to help her and maybe you are just a bit insecure with your feeling and you are a little bit controlling. why don't you see it his way and try to be more secure and mature in your feeling and trust men, they are different from one another, they are not all the same as your ex husband!
2006-10-24 13:24:32 · answer #6 · answered by livinhapi 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Go with your gut feeling.
2006-10-24 13:22:11 · answer #7 · answered by Sheila 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can rely on me, I will uphold you to the highest standard, worship you, and kiss your feet. That is what you want, right?
2006-10-24 13:22:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋