Confused about finding my real dad!!!?

Question

I am25 yrs old and i just now starting to wonder about my real dad. My real dad was around his 30's around that time and my mom was 18. After i was born he wanted to marry her and she loved him but wasn't ready for marrige yet. So he left me and my mom. My mom never tired to get child support from him or asked him for help. He left when i was six months old and i have one pic. of him. But my mined is starting wonder about him now. Like whats he doing and if he ever thinks about me? He should be around in his 60's and i know that he has 4 or 5 other children older than me. Should i waste my time to fined him or not?

Answer 1

I say go for it if you can. By the way, of course he thinks of you. You are here because at one point 2 people fell in love. I'm sure he would love to see how you turned out.

Answer 2

I would recommend you read a psychology book that deals with this. Because there are a lot of emotions you will feel, and like wise there are a lot of emotions you father will feel as well.

It is hard for him to simply ACCEPT you in his life since you were never a part of it, BUT he still may want to have a relationship with you not as a CHILD but as a friend. It sounds weird to understand but trust me... start of by reading on this in a psychology book so that if you decide to go see him you are prepared for what he may say or feel towards you.

I had a friend that was in a similar situation, she was 22 at the time and all the children her father had were younger than her.

I guess the general feeling she got when she went to see him was, "VERY, VERY nice to see you... but I have a wife and a family, how can I possibly add you to the equation as well?"

It's not so much that he doesn't want you, but he also has an obligation to his wife (if he has one) and his current children. You will not find an instant family.... it could be a work in progress thing to finally get what you want if he has the time to committ.

But if you do decide to see him, make sure you spell out exactly what you want so that neither one of you is left guessing. Remember, he will be unprepared for you... BUT he may have expected to see you one day at his door.

Answer 3

If you really want to find your dad then do so BUT, tread very carefully and air on the side of caution. first make sure your mum is okay with this, tell her why you want to do this next, try to go through the proper channels and not ads in the paper. Be prepared that he may not have told his other children about you and finally, Be prepared that a) he may not want to know you and b) you may not like what you see! Having said all that, the situation may turn out well and you all, (including your mum) may get on really well.

Answer 4

on an identical time as your DAD isn't your organic and organic father he's thru all potential your DAD. It takes greater desirable than genes to be a dad or mom. My organic and organic mom did no longer upward thrust me the two. long tale so I won't flow into it right here. you may count selection your blessing which you haven't any longer have been given genes that predispose you to turning out to be an alcoholic. IMHO you may communicate with him. secrets and techniques are on no account sturdy. Your dad may be feeling undesirable by way of fact he could no longer have toddlers. He won't have needed you to renowned for worry which you may no longer love him. Is there a relied on grownup who you are able to communicate with? additionally your mom and pop needed a toddler very badly and so as that they went for the time of the rate and time of using a sperm donor.

Answer 5

I dont think its a waste of time at all. You will never stop wondering until youve tried to locate him. You should however prepare yourself just in case you are disappointed for whatever reason. But then again, it could be the best decision youve ever made!! Good luck to you!!

Answer 6

no...go find out. there is no real harm in it. the only thing is....what are you trying to get out of it. if you want answers, ask it. if you need closure, go get it. just don't go looking to fill a hole in your life. because that will never happen. when you find him, get what you need. don't go with anger. and you when you hear his side of the story, make your own decision.

i met my dad when i was 17 the first time. i found out the other half of the story. turns out it wasn't everything my mom told me. he is no longer in my life. not that he did anything bad. but there was nothing he could give me that i couldn't provide for myself emotionally.

Answer 7

i have the same problem. i say wait until you are fully ready to hear the truth. i always thought my dad loved me. but when i was 16 my mother told me the truth that the reason he left was because he didn't love me and wanted nothing to do with me. if you are ready to hear the truth then go for it. as far as i'm concerned my step-dad is my father.

Answer 8

I say go for it!! I would just prepare myself. Think of the possiblities that could happen. Either you could find him and he could be so happy to see you or he could maybe want nothing to do with you. If I was you though, I would still try to find him. I would want to know who I (you) really was!! Go for it!! Good luck

Answer 9

Only you can answer that question. It sounds like he did care for you mother and you, but things just didn't work out. I would try to find him. If you do find him, don't expect too much and don't try to force your way into his life and family (if he has one). I would tell your mother what your plans are just out of courtesy.

Answer 10

Nope u're not wasting your time,this might be something that u will always regret not pursuing it now.....never know what will happen its a risk u jave to take.....no one could never change who your really father is..........good luck hope u find him......