My husband had been having a 3 month affair with a co-worker. After not talking for a few weeks we reconciled and I told him that I would give him a second chance...Well, two weeks later he cheated on me with the same woman...so I told him it was over and left.
The thing is that I just found out that I am pregnant. I know that God's word teaches against abortion...but I don't know if I want to deal with this man (plus the other woman may be pregnant). A part of me wants to keep the baby but on the other side I do not want all of the drama. I know if I keep the baby he will want to try to work our marriage out...but I know that if I try to work things out with him he will probably get back with that woman again.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? What did you choose?
I am appreciative of any advice...I am very confused.
2006-10-24 05:52:43 · 31 answers · asked by Bella 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Punishing the child for the fathers actions, especially with death, is unreasonable.
We cheat on God every day, He calls the church a harlot, yet he takes us back every time we turn to him.
Having a double standard for your own relationship, especially towards the life of your child, is hypocritical.
Its hard working things out with a cheating husband, or any cheating spouse. But so long as he is willing to get help for him and your marriage you should always be willing to try.
Men go out looking for tramps, they come home to their wives. It doesnt make it right, but every man goes through tempations, and some give in. There has to be forgivness at some level.
If its osmething that he doestn want to deal with, or change in himself, or really honestly work out, then you should go ahead and leave. But realize that he is still leagally responsible for that child. You can raise it alone.
Dont kill your baby just because the father is being an ***.
2006-10-24 05:59:16 · answer #1 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 4⤊ 3⤋
Hi, well let me first tell you that think really hard before you decide on an abortion. I had one a few years ago, because I was in school and was not ready for a child. It was the hardest thing I have ever been through. There are days that you will think what if. At least I do. I am now married and trying to have a child and I misscarried about 2 months ago, and there isnt a day that goes by that I dont kick myself for haivng that abortion. I know how it feels to be cheated on trust me. If you want this child there is nothing wrong with raising this child on your own. If you think your husband will want to work things out it is ultimately your decision, but you do not need him to raise a child. I think you should have your child and raise this child to the best of your ability. But I believe that every woman should have the choice between having it or not. Just do what you feel is best for you and this unborn child. Turn to God he will never steer you wrong. Hope i was able to help.
2006-10-24 06:03:01 · answer #2 · answered by butterfly 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Woah, this is a pretty sticky situation. About 6 months ago, my boyfriend and I got into a pretty bad fight. I left and said I was never coming back...well a week later, I found out I was pregnant. We reconcilled our differences and decided to make it work so that we could have the best possible life for the child. In my situation, my boyfriend hadn't been unfaithful, just a dumbass. Had he been unfaithful...I would probably have left him for good and raised the baby myself. To make a long story short, we ended up losing the baby anyways, but we're still together to this day and happier than ever.
In your situation, I can see how you would be so confused. I really believe that once he cheats on you, he WILL do it again. It is SO hard to regain that trust back, and the relationship will never truly be the same. You have to make the decision as to whether or not to want to keep the child and raise it on your own with his financial help (child support) or whether you want to have the abortion and start a new life. I honestly would probably chose the latter.
2006-10-24 05:59:53 · answer #3 · answered by thecaptinwashere 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You have the right to make your own decision. Most everyone here will try to tell you to have the baby or give it up for adoption....but I am a realistic person and I understand your feelings. My twins were 4 when I found out their dad cheated and we seperated. I ended up raising them myself. they are now 14. I love my kids but it was hard. and there was alot of resentment that he was traveling and living his free life with his girlfriend and I was stuck at home with no life. I am sure that you would still love and nurture your baby despite all of this, but is it reallly fair to both of you to have it be born and live unwanted by it's father and resented by you? If you decide to keep your baby you will just look into their eyes and love them uncinditionally - although there will be times that you wish that you had not had them....and if you have the abortion there may be times that you think about the baby and wonder what if???? I say have the abortion and go out and find yourself an honest man and a real man that can take care of you and your family. You deserve to be happy, too.
2006-10-24 06:13:42 · answer #4 · answered by jachooz 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I knew someone who had an abortion and it affected her the rest of her life. Look no matter who the father is, I think abortion is not an option. Who says you have to get back together with him? Leave him and start your new life with the life that you have growing inside of you. Everyone has drama in their life honey. That is not the child's fault. You two created this child out of some kind of love at the time and if you get rid of it you will always wonder what if you would have kept that child and how old it would be. It will drive you crazy the rest of your life. Now wouldn't you want to deal with the other drama than feeling guilty and wondering what if? I think so. Good luck.
2006-10-24 06:03:03 · answer #5 · answered by LISA F 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think abortion is the way to go. But I do agree that maybe getting rid of him is a good way to go. I know you might not want to deal with the drama, but that baby did not ask to be born either, plus the man will eventually have to grow up and learn to be responsible,. especially if he going to have two kids approximately the same age. Sorry you are dealing with this, just don't do anything rash as there is always the option of giving the child up for adoption.
2006-10-24 06:13:50 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Remember that baby is apart of you too. That baby shouldn't be punished for the wrong your husband did. Even though your marriage went bad, God gave a you the best thing possible out of it, The chance to love this child unconditionally and to have a love that completely satusfies you! God brings all the bad in your life and uses it for good for you and Him. Take this child inside of you love it with all your heart and soul. God gave you the best thing out of that guy. Abortion is a trick of the enemy... you will decieved if you go through with abortion.. you will not only suffer from the bad marriage, but you will suffer the long term emotional effects of aborting the child. Been their done that... it's the worst thing to ever go through! It'll scar you for life, you will feel so empty inside.. Please girl make the smart choice! You will definately have joy and love restored back to you if you choose to keep the little one! I promise! May God Bless! You and your little baby are in my prayers!
Much Love in Christ,
Erin
2006-10-24 07:42:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry that you are going through this, and I'm sure you know you are obviously better off without him. But I wouldn't punish your unborn child because his/her father is a deadbeat. Although everyone has their reasons to abort, don't make a decision about his/her life thinking about your cheating husband. Make this decision only on how you feel about being pregnant, being a mom/caring for the baby, your health, the babies health etc...it's all about the baby now, and a wonderful gift you've been given. I wish you the best.
2006-10-24 06:01:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've not been in your situation, but I do know this, don't act in haste or out of spite.
Think your decision thru, talk to a friend, counselor, priest etc before you decided to divorce, abort or reconcile. Make it a matter of prayer and thought.
Above, all, I really hope you would give the baby a chance, and if you don't want this child, give it up for adoption.
2006-10-24 05:56:02 · answer #9 · answered by East of Eden 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
why don't you grow a backbone. Im so sad to see you are ready to have your unborn child killed just because you are to weak to stand on your own 2 feet. It is pathetic and it makes me sick to think there are people out there who would give up a human life just because they are to selfish to struggle on their own. I am a mother, my husband ****** up a million times. But no way did i even consider giving up my child, and now that he's 3...it brings tears to my eyes to think that someone would just as well give up a child that THEY CREATED.....this child didn't ask to be born, that was you and your stupid husbands choice, or mistake...you didn't specify. How could you is all im saying. My son is the best thing that ever happened to me, and i couldn't ever consider giving him up. Especially for some stupid reason like i divorced my husband. You don't have to have your husband in your life. Did you tell him you were pregnant? If not, don't...im sure you have family that can help you out with this baby. Its such a shame to know that society is running for abortion to "fix" their own selfish problems. I don't want to sound mean, but why is abortion an option anyways? This child isn't sick, your pregnancy won't result in death will it? Its time to grow up and accept your responsibilities. This is something that you created, and if your worried about the simple thing of "you dont wanna deal with your husband" than dont....its that simple. Dont deal with him. And how heartless do you sound when you say "a part of me want to keep the baby but the other side doesnt want all that drama". What the hell lady? A child is drama, then maybe YOUR stupid *** should of worn some protection and made sure your *** didn't get pregnant in the first place huh?! How ignorant are you? Im sorry by my book that is not a good enough reason to kill your child. To rob this child the chance of life.
2006-10-24 06:17:14 · answer #10 · answered by MTE 2 · 1⤊ 3⤋