An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his IRS
agent and his Lawyer to come to his home. When they
arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom. As they
entered the room, the preacher held out his hands and
motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed. The
preacher grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled
and stared at the ceiling.
For a time, no one said anything. Both the IRS agent and
Lawyer were touched and flattered that the old preacher
would ask them to be with him during his final moment.
They were also puzzled because the preacher had never
given any indication that he particularly liked either one
of them. Finally, the Lawyer asked, "Father, why did you
ask the two of us to come?"
The old preacher mustered up some strength, then said
weakly, "Jesus died between two thieves, and that's how I
want to go, too."
2006-10-24 05:49:25 · 17 answers · asked by Nunya M 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
hahaha... lmao...
that's goooooood!
2006-10-24 05:52:25 · answer #1 · answered by Fatty McButterpants 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very good.
Reminds me of the old Democrat who was on his deathbed and sent for his son.
"What can I do for you Pop?" He asked tenderly.
"Well son, I'd like you to send for a representative of the Democrat Party and one from the Republicans." Instructs the dying man.
The son thinks this is a strange request but not wishing to upset his father in his last moments does as he was asked. Shortly afterwards the two arrive and stand by the bedside.
"Right," says the old man, "I have been a fee-paying member of the Democrat Party all my life, always voted for them and done lots of voluntary work for all without pay. I have canvassed tirelessly for the Party and over the years raised thousands of dollars for the cause. I have asked you two here today because I would now like to resign From the Democrats and become a Republican."
"Father, do you know what you are saying?" Asks his son, aghast, himself as big a Democrat as his father.
"Yes son, don't worry, I know what I am doing." Replies his father with a cough, "It's just that I know I haven't long left, and if anyone's going to die I would rather it be a Republican than a Democrat!"
2006-10-24 06:04:08 · answer #2 · answered by quatt47 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
a preist had a farm behind the church. one day he noticed his rooster was missing. he knew that they had fights between roosters in town so he decided to ask the church. before his sermon he asked the people if they had seen a cock. all the women stand up. then he says that wasn't what he meant and askes instead if anyone has seen a cock that does not belong to them. half the women stand up. frustrated the preist refraces the question and asks if anyione has seen his cock. all the nuns, two alter boys and a goat stand up
2006-10-24 06:13:40 · answer #3 · answered by angel of hell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For those of you asserting that God isn't actual, right this is a splash exerpt from Dane Cooke (suited guy alive!) "So the lads sneezes then I say "God bless you" yet in an extremely snobby way, ya know?! And, by way of the way, I say "GOD bless you" via fact i'm no longer the Lord. i can't try this stuff. So besides, the guy turns to me and says "i'm an atheist." So what am I meant to assert to that? "Umm once you die, no longer something occurs..." Yeah, valuable. So I clarify to the guy that it extremely is my concept in God via fact i'm Catholic and yada yada. And the full time the guy is guffawing at me. he's relatively guffawing, so I ask him "nicely what occurs to YOU once you die?!" He stands a splash straighter like he's approximately to college me and says "nicely i will inform you. i would be a fertilizer for the earth and then i will return lower back as a spectacular tree!" i glance at him, he thinks I"M loopy for beliving in heaven and hell whilst weeping willow over right this is gonna come back as a ficus! So i'm thinking and that i'm asserting "nicely i wish you do come back as a tree! i wish you're interior the woods and a great guy with an awl comes alongside and chops you down! you will then get placed right into a shredder and grinded up! Then they are going to matt you down and swap you into paper. Then, then!! they're gonna pring the Bible on your a**!!!"" <--end. i could prefer to spend it with pals and kinfolk and that i've got faith i've got lived a competent life so i wish I do finally end up going to those pearly gates and having a splash chat with all Jesus approximately all the lads and girls folk who have been disheveled down into paper and the Bible revealed on them! -Later Gator-
2016-11-25 02:14:47 · answer #4 · answered by kocaker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Heheheh Thanx for the laugh!
2006-10-24 06:00:16 · answer #5 · answered by Nicole 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
very funny and cute. Good job
2006-10-24 06:12:02 · answer #6 · answered by kat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That was so good... absolutly hilarious
2006-10-24 07:43:54 · answer #7 · answered by x 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my god that was to funny
2006-10-24 08:30:42 · answer #8 · answered by Beth B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That was a laugh out loud one!!!!!!!!
2006-10-24 06:12:52 · answer #9 · answered by DeeRobin 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hilariously priceless!
2006-10-24 06:30:24 · answer #10 · answered by Myastar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol good one
2006-10-24 05:52:29 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋