okay i real want a child, i was pregnant a year ago but something happend. i still feel the urge to be a mother very badly. i cant get over it, but the thing is im only 19 years old. me and my partner have been together for 2 years and we are moving in together in 2 weeks time! ANY THAUGHTS?
2006-10-24 05:28:14 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I got married at 19 and then I was pregnant 3 weeks later and I have been having babies ever since. No I wouldn't trade my family for anything. But if I could do it over again I probably would do it different. I feel like I missed out on so much stuff that now I'll have to wait at least until all my kids are in school or even until they are all moved out to experience. And I'm afraid I'll never get my body back the way it was. So my advice to you is to stop thinking about having sex and making babies. Don't move in with your "partner" wait until you are married or he'll probably never commit to marry you. Go to college and get as much education as you can if you aren't already. And go do sports or an art or something you enjoy and have fun! Go travel around and see things.
2006-10-24 06:00:41 · answer #1 · answered by mommyem 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I have a thought!
First, children are amazing. They're one of the best things that can happen to willing parents.
Second, it's not about what makes us feel good :)
Shall I explain? Of course I shall ;)
Wanting a child is only part of the equation. Making you feel good is absolutely zero part of the equation.
It is imperative -and yes I know there will be people who slam me for this, but so what - IMPERATIVE that a child have two parents who cherish and love them. Ideally, those two parents will be financially able to support them - again, only part of the equation. Children will absolute thrive in a family where the parents are ONE HUNDRED PERCENT committed to EACH OTHER first and foremost. While it may sound old-fashioned, being married is part of that. There are people who find marriage inconvenient, not what they "want" or otherwise not what they want for a "lifestyle."
That's all fine and good - but when it comes to the children, the best thing you can do is have a family unit - two parents who can model what love and companionship is meant to be - that want with all their heart and soul to give that child what is best for the child.
You don't have to be rich to have children. You don't have to be a college graduate to have children. But what you absolutely must have to be a *great* parent (which every child deserves) is *selflessness.* And that means doing things in your life that you wouldn't do if you didn't have a child.
That is a huge part of being a mother.
I'm sorry that whatever it is that happened happened to you. But in my view, you'll be really ready to be a mom when you've moved beyond the "urge" to be a mother and into the realm of, "what am I willing to give up to be a mother," and have that answer include things that involve changing much of what your life is now.
I wish you the best. I'm sure that someday you'll be a great mother - but truthfully, unless you can say that you've become willing to give up any selfish desires for at least 10 years or so (forget weekends away with the girlfriends, pursuing a career that requires much of your time, etc...) I'd also wish that you wait until you have experienced many of the joys that young women your age should be experiencing. Build a history that you can encourage your children to respect and strive for - travel - education - FUN! Children are fun, but trust me - much much much of that fun is immediately counteracted by a sudden onset of projectile vomiting, diarrhea or an ear infection ;)
You're young. Focus on what you can do right now that's selfish. Indulgent. Silly. And share that with your children later as part of who you are.
Best to you.
PS - "supate" above just cut and pasted (witha few adjustments) a website. Not a lot of thought in there, although it is a good website http://ottawa.ca/residents/health/families/planning/pregnancy/plan/ready_en.html
2006-10-24 05:59:56 · answer #2 · answered by tagi_65 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have been with your partner for 2yrs. then what about marriage first? If he is not ready to commit by now he probably won't. It is far better to have a child after you are married for a while and sure he is the right candidate for a husband and future father. There are too many children in this world that were conceived only because someone had the urge to and not because they were ready. It is very expensive to raise a child today. Do you both have great paying jobs? 18yrs of paying out for a child can really wear on any relationship. Make sure yours is sound. Good luck.
2006-10-24 05:44:33 · answer #3 · answered by Abby's Mom 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would at least wait for a while after living together. Things change once you live with someone, you soon learn all their little secrets and habits. Lol which isn't always bad, I love my husband but we did have to work on some things once living together...o yeah like his issue with not cleaning at all! lol. Anyway, give living together some time, then I would suggest getting a puppy and see how he handles that, you can train the puppy and take care of it (because its a 24/7 job..lol) and then if you still feel like your ready then you can go for it! That is what I did. I married my husband after being with him for 3 years and now two years later, we got a puppy raised him for a while and now we are expecting our first baby any day now. I am only 21 I got married at 19, so I personally dont think age has to do with it, its all about your maturity level. Good luck and I hope that everything works out well for you!
2006-10-24 05:42:53 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My sister went through the same thing at the same age. She'd always wanted to be a mother and that's all she talked about. She and her high school sweetheart tried but she miscarried - she was 19. She's no longer with high school sweetheart since he repeatedly cheated on her. She finished college and received a bachelor's in psychology while dating a new beau and they got pregnant at age 24. They now have 2 boys, Jake and Josh and both work full time at Starbucks and Home Depot, she the day shift, he the night shift and it's very stressful for them. Nurturing a growing human being has got to be one of the most rewarding positions on earth but make sure you've nurtured yourself and the relationship with your partner for the child's sake. Coming from an unstable or broken home is no fun and my sister and I can attest to that. As for myself, I'm 8 years older than my sister at age 35 and pregnant with my first child and even though I'm ready it still scares the crap out of me! The ultimate point? It may feel like the right thing to do but make sure it is the right thing to do.
2006-10-24 06:08:06 · answer #5 · answered by c0rn3l1us_cavy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being a mother is a huge responsibility. Sit back and think through again about all the things that will be asked of you once u deliver. Are you ready for all that? Look up some preg. websites and get an idea of what is involved.
If u still think u r ready, then talk to ur partner about this and see what he thinks about this? Since u want a child with him, both of u need to be on the same page here.
Good luck
2006-10-24 05:32:08 · answer #6 · answered by san 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
if u have money and can handle it then yes but ur 19 that means a lot of thing will chance weekends weekdays your home with the baby no friends to go out with no partys what about collage. i want a kid 2 i am 18 my man is 24 and we have lived together for over a month now and it was the best thing i did in my life. i am not ready for a kid
2006-10-24 05:39:05 · answer #7 · answered by billy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think as long as your partner is willing to commit to this and you both realize that children require a lot of attention and MONEY then try again. There are many programs through your local health department that you can get involved in first. They can put you on the right vitamins to make sure you are in the best possible health before you try again. They can help you with your goals as far as managing education, carrer, childcare, food, and housing arrangements. They are trained to help you know what to expect and help you decide if you are ready for this commitment together.
2006-10-24 05:37:46 · answer #8 · answered by miss allison 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd wait until you two move in together and when you get a more permanent commitment out of the guy. i was 19 as well when I got pregnant with my first, any advice I could give, is to make sure you're in the best position possible before concieving another child.
best of luck to you!
2006-10-24 05:52:17 · answer #9 · answered by cawfeebeanz 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wait, wait, wait! It doesn't matter how long you've together, you are too young to try. Plus, the longer you wait after previous "problems", the less chance you have of future ones. Also, you are so young! I am 21, yes, I have a daughter and I wouldn't trade her in for the world, but I was way too young and I know I was. My friends have all forgot my number, and you basicly have nothing but your child. Go experience things, and see things....you will be a wiser parent when you do have a baby.
2006-10-24 05:51:36 · answer #10 · answered by angie_laffin927 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋