What *specifically* do you do to make yourself the best parent? (more)?

Question

I think I do a pretty good job - I'm like what I think most people are like - hurried too much sometimes, too busy to do the things that kids want to do - but I know that my 4-year and 18 month-old daughters adore me.

But what about when they're older? What do YOU do today to ensure the relationship in the future that will be based on open and honest communication?

Answer 1

Just force time to spend with your kids. Take a personal day off of work and let them take a personal day from school. Stay at home in jammies and watch girl movies, or take them out to lunch. Just something that ensures you have some quality time with them. While your at home cooking dinner, have them help by passing you ingredients, it takes a few extra minutes to put everything in their reach, but this is time to spend together that is not only quality time, but it also is a learning experience for them. Find 1 night of the week to shut the TV off and have a game night.

There is a lot of different things you can do, you just have to be willing to set the time for it. Always talk to them, even if it is on the way to the store, during bath time, or at dinner. Let them talk to you and ask you questions, and be ready and willing to answer what ever they may want to know, even if you think that they might not be ready to know the answer or understand it. You can always find a way to word things or omit things so that it is appropriate for them. The more you do it now, the more willing they will be to talk to you as they get older about things that a lot of kids are afraid to talk to their kids about.

Answer 2

The toughest task on earth, being a parent. You must find that middle ground between making them understand that what you say is the law in your house, and balancing that with giving them respect and allowing their opinions to be heard.

Explain things to them, everything, short of the raunchy adult humor, but that honors their existence by giving them all the information that is out there. Learn to prioritize. My husband allows our daughter to wear the most awful combinations of clothing, but that is her choice (she is eight, I am talking mismatched type choices), but it is not going to change the rotation of the earth if she does so. When she gets to an age that she cares, then she will make other choices.

Allow them to earn things by hard work. Our cat died some years ago, before she can remember, and she has been agitating for a cat for years. We put together a calendar of chores, and she had to do all those every day, without prompting for a month. Guess what! Today is the last day. We have chosen the cats we are getting but they won't be ready for another couple of weeks. In the meantime, she is counting her money from her piggybank to get the litterbox and supplies. She is getting an enormous amount of self-satisfaction from this endeavor, as she realizes it has been entirely up to her.

Another thing we do is learn to laugh at ourselves, and not take unimportant things seriously. There are times to be rigid and uptight, but much of life is not like that.

Her teacher says she has a rare combination of very high academic skills, but is not so driven that she don't try and answer if she doesn't know, and she does not get upset if she gets an answer incorrect. She looks at it as an opportunity to learn. The teacher says many of the kids that are high achievers are also very tense, like they will be in trouble if they get it wrong.

I had good relationship with my mom when growing up, and still do, and can only hope that experience will serve me well when she hits adolescence.

Answer 3

What you are doing now is best -- be honest with them, model for them correct and morally right behaviors, show them your faith, treat everyone with respect and dignity, show them you care for them, be involved in their lives (know their teachers, volunteer at the children's activities, know their school subjects, etc), and take them on little day trips and enjoy some time with them having fun (whether it is bowling, riding a bike, day trips, sharing 'lets go out and take photos days (with their own digital cameras), nature walks or anything else).

When they hit their late teens -- it is your home -- and the rules you established very long ago (be home at certain time, eat what is put in front of you, respect for the parent, cleaning up the rooms, chores, etc) is what you ARE going to have to keep insisting be followed.

For the late teens ARE the challenging years of parenting -- when they hit 18 -- if they are still living in your home, and not providing for themselves -- then they need to establish separate lives -- away from the home, because anything less is DISRESPECTFUL to the parent.

DO NOT EVER let your child hit you or throw things at you. That is abuse, and there is no law in this world that will protect the parent from Abuse by the Child/Teen.

Do NOT ever allow the child/teen to pick up any weapon or violent video games -- I know this is unrealistic -- but the younger they are when they see all the blood and gore -- the more they will tend to be insensitive to the pain and suffering that violence brings to a human life.

DO NOT let your children watch that much TV -- it is FAR BETTER to be active as a family -- scouting, Athletic Community Leagues, taking walks or bike rides together, visiting zoos/museums, whatever -- anything that is active will provide your children with a basis for their FUTURES as Adults -- so cultivate the LOVE for Cultural and Fitness events at a very young age -- and they will LOVE doing these things well into their adulthood and Retirement years.

Take them to the Children's Library Programs -- reading programs, crafts programs/events, anything and everything. These form a good basis for learning the needed skills that any adult must have to function.

TEACH Them by example about money management -- show them you are providing for your family, and that you are putting money on the side for emergencies - and do NOT dip into those funds UNLESS it IS an emergency.

TEACH them their health needs -- medical insurance/health insurance/dental insurance/hospitalization insurance -- all appointments must be kept, they need their immunizations, and they need to know that keeping their teeth cared for is an important part of their health routines.

Show them the PLEASE and THANK YOU and common courtesies -- and make sure that they understand that these things are important.

Answer 4

Good for you to have such a wonderful relationship with your children now. That is the key to your future success. My mother was my best friend...she took time to build relationships with her children when we were young. She was a part of our lives and involved in what we were interested in. Keep the communication open and honest now and it will be later when they grow up. Encourage talking about things that they want to talk about. Keep them away from media and teach them young the consequences for wrong actions. Sounds like you are already doing a fantastic job. There was once a wise man who said "Train them up in the right way when they are young, and when they are old, they will not depart from it." Good luck and I too hope I can be the mother to my children that my mom was for me. It is a learning process that we all continue to 'learn.'

Answer 5

I have never heard of "best parent'. Is there such a thing??
I am a true believer in BEING there for your kids. One parent always home.... no nanny's or daycare.
Communication is of utmost importance.... lots and lots of it on every level.
The relationship between parent and child is the most important relationship in the world... and should be on the top of every parent's list!
If your kids are school age (or not), check out some Alfie Kohn books, he is AWESOME!

Answer 6

I tell my daughter I love her every chance I get but i tell her what I love. Like " I love that you share." "I love that you give kisses to me!"

I always take time out to read her a book. I don't hesitate to say I'll talk to someone later or I have to cancel my plans to be with my daughter when she is upset or sick.

We have mommy and me time whee I take her to the store just the two of us or we go to the park and play together with out other people around. Her favorite moment seems to be when we go out in the yard after she wakes up from her nap and we blow bubbles until daddy comes home from work!

I know she wont want to blow bubbles with me forever but I know she'll remember that and cherish that forever.

Sometimes we have to let our children lead and let us know what they want and just be there willing to give all we can. I think that makes us the best parents we can be.

Answer 7

that's so great to hear. good for you!

I make sure I spend quality time(among other things) with our 3 yr. old. so,in the future she can approach me with any problem,big or small. I want to assure her that I will always be there and ready to listen. lines of communication never close. it's a challenge but will be so worth it in the future.
so, if I'm going to do this, I'm going to do it right.

Answer 8

i have 2 2-year-old little girls, they keep me quite busy. they don't really talk that much, but i still talk to them a lot. when i pick them up from daycare, the first thing i do is give them each a big hug and say "how was your day today?" i'm trying to condition them early to communicate about what's going on in their lives, so later down the road, hopefully it will make it easier for them to talk to me about things.

Answer 9

hug them, tell them that you love them not matter what they do - express unconditional love daily, and tell them how proud of them you are.

positive reinforcement.