I had my son at age 20 and now I'm ready for my next and last child. My boyfriend also had a son we both would like to have one together but he wants to wait until we have full custudy of his son and i would like to try now. he says that it wouldn't be fair to his son not to go through the prgnancy and feel left out. I see nothing been done to even try and gey full custody so i'm trying behind his back to get pregnant.
2006-10-24 05:07:01 · 16 answers · asked by iaw0312 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
We are planning to get married in 10-07 and it's not really behind his back when he knows that i'm not taking any birth control. When i say trying means i just calculate when i'm ovulating and make sure that we are intimate during that time. His thing is that he doesn't want to try he just says if it happens it happens and he would be comfortable if it does. but he doesn't want to have conversations abiut having one hopfully you al will get what i'm trying to say
2006-10-24 05:58:02 · update #1
Well, I do see his point. It would be a nice way to meld the family by having a baby that belonged to everyone in the house. The son would probably feel more included especially if he was there to witness you growing a tummy and everyone could make preparations for the baby's coming.
Not sure what your relationship is to his son, but it could be something that makes the transition easier.
I would NEVER advise anyone to get pregnant if the other person didn't want to at the time. That is manipulation and can cause feelings of resentment toward you.
2006-10-24 05:13:00 · answer #1 · answered by stocks4allseasons 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't want a child with you. Now read that sentence over again. It doesn't matter what the reason is. The fact is, he doesn't want a baby with you.
You are being decietful, and it is wrong to trick someone into being a dad who doesn't want to be. Doesn't make for a happy home life or a good parenting situation. Just think what it will be like for the baby when it eventually realizes he/she wasn't wanted.
I think you are being selfish and not accepting the fact that your boyfriend doesn't want a baby with you, for whatever reason. If he does not change his mind, there are other fish in the sea.
Plus, if you two are so committed to a lifetime together, you woud be married. Why don't you get married and commit to each other first before you drag a baby into this equation?
2006-10-24 05:17:27 · answer #2 · answered by EmLa 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you should leave him. Honestly, I would look at his excuses as a ploy to not have a baby with me. If he wanted a baby so badly, he wouldn't use that as an excuse, especially if the child is under like 3-4 because he wouldn't understand what was happening anyways. I don't think it's as much selfish as dumb honestly. Besides.....I am sorry if I offend, what is up with these women TRYING to get pregnant when they are not married? If that man can not commit enough to marry you, what makes you think he can commit to being a father? That, I think is more selfish of you as a woman. Suprise pregnancies, and oops are different if there really were steps taken to avoid it, but TRYING to? I just dont get it! My husband even agrees, he would never think of trying to get a woman pregnant when he couldn't bring himself to marry her yet. And if it's money you cant have a wedding....then really can you even afford a baby?
2006-10-24 05:29:48 · answer #3 · answered by angie_laffin927 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Never get pregnant behind someone's back. If they are not on the band wagon you are setting yourself and your kid up for a life of misery and it's wrong.
2. I suspect your boyfriend is making up excuses b/c he either wants to wait or doesn't have the heart to tell you that he doesn't want another one and you need to be listening and talk more. Getting full custody of his son has nothing to do with you getting pregnant.
2006-10-24 05:11:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Um, lets see, bf means NOT husband, means you could easily be left and a single momma, with baby daddy drama. Boy, that should make for a really good life for the child. Sure, be sneaky about getting pregnant, I am sure you can return the child to Sears or where ever when it all ends up in the toilet.
2006-10-24 05:18:55 · answer #5 · answered by kate 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think it sounds like he's the one being selfish. His son isn't going to care either way if you are pregnant or not. It takes nine months to have a baby, and he'll have plenty of time to be around. But it sounds to me like he's just finding excuses to not get you pregnant. You have to ask him to be honest and tell you what the real reason is. I don't think it's selfish to want a baby with your husband. But it is a little crazy to get preg behind his back, because he's not going to be happy when you do get preg. You have to find a way to talk him into it before you do something crazy.
2006-10-24 05:17:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes you are! Didn't you learn your lesson the first time? You have no business making babies with someone you are not married to.
Do you want to bring yet another child into a broken family? Do you really think your "boyfriend" is going to stay with you when he finds out your pregnant? use some common sense !
n3
2006-10-24 05:16:30 · answer #7 · answered by N3WJL 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, bluntly..1st problem I see conceiving out of wedlock, your selfishness puts a burden on society if you can't pay your medical bills.. 2nd to your other kids.. The need parents to focus on them not on a "yours" child.
What happens if you split which is common among shakeups.. I like what doctor Laura says, don't get in a new relationship with children present, I creates confusion, causes defiance (your not my mom/dad stuff.).. I'd be PO'd if I found out my wife were trying to get pregnant without telling me.. I dump her *** in a NY minute.
2006-10-24 05:18:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're trying behind his back to get pregnant?
You typed those words and still actually posted the question?
WTH do you think? If you don't want to wait, then bail on this man (who I assume you "love" since you're having a child with him) and find someone who wants a child RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND.
Good grief.
Woman, you WROTE the words YOURSELF. If you do *anything* behind someone's back, you're an unconscionable human being.
ADDED: read your clarification and I repeat - you're doing it behind his back. He doesn't want to *try* and you ARE trying. You're not only selfish, you're dishonest.
2006-10-24 05:15:58 · answer #9 · answered by tagi_65 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow!
Selfish is there but also deceit, lying, there are a host of negativity you are causing by going behind your guys back. Do not be surprised if your guy walks out on you for such behaviour...
It doesn't seam to matter what your guy has to say about anything, you will do what you are going to do....
2006-10-24 05:16:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋