I am 19 years old, I have a son and a boyfriend, live in a nice apartment, Im a stay at home mom. It all sounds good i guess but theres something that is bothering me that my family and my boyfriend dont know.
I am completely miserable. I hate being in my house all the time, I went from being a cheerleader and incredibly popular. I had a party to go to every night of the week. I had a decent job and I always had money, now its like i gutta ask for money from my boyfriend. I am a shop a holic so for me to not have money is SO depressing.
I know the way things are now are clearly by choice.
I love my son and my boyfriend and I really am happy with them but not with myself.
Has anyone else ever felt like this before. Am i juust stuck in a rut?
2006-10-24 04:27:53 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
talk to your boyfriend.
2006-10-24 04:29:26 · answer #1 · answered by Grasshopper 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to be stuck in a rut. You're a young mother now and a huge responsibility goes along with it. Make some friends with other moms that have children. Get a part time job or start a new career. Like you said, it's your choice. Do something with your life that will make your son proud some day. I think you're just a little bored. With your outgoing personality and social skills you should do very well at whatever you decide to pursue. Good luck!
2006-10-24 04:37:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sound like you are stuck in a rut.
When live changes from 100 mph to slow cruise it can be so frustrating. And since you have a child to mind, it feels like you're stuck.
My advice is, get a hobby, or start taking an evening class in something (maybe making clothes or beautician) You may not need to work now, but one day you're boyfriend might have an accident and need time off work, and then you will be able to step in and become the breadwinner.
Also by the time you're son is ready to go to school, that will leave you with a few free hours every day to pursue a part time job etc.
2006-10-24 04:33:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anria A 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am also 19 and have been in your position, minus the child, and I agree that its very depressing (I am also a shop-a-holic!). You're obviously a very independent, fun loving person and that's why you feel like this at the moment.
You need to try and get out of the apartment as much as you possibly can, even if its just to take your son to the park or for a walk. I used to take my dog for a walk when I felt cooped up in the house and it always cleared my head and made me feel better.
Just because you chose to have a child doesn't mean life ends here for you now. How about having a part time job? It would give you the chance to get out and meet other people. With that social invitations will soon be flooding in again. You're obviously a nice person or you wouldn't have been so popular in school.
I won't say cheer up or just try to get on with things as they are because I know it is not that simple and it didn't help me to say such things it just enraged me!
I'm still unemployed and stuck in the house most of the time but I try to engage myself with little projects such as making my own xmas cards (sad to some people but i find it therapeutic!). All I can say is thank goodness for my car because I feel its my ticket to independence & freedom.
You won't be in this situation forever. As your son grows up he will become more independent from you which will give you more time to yourself. For the moment try to enjoy your sons childhood and having the luxury that some mums can't afford of watching your child grow up.
Compared to your "old" life your existence now must seem incredibly different, as it did & still does for me. All I can say is if you want support, a chat, anything I can do just email me (joey_anna123@yahoo.com) because I know what its like and sometimes and understanding person means so much than someone else who doesn't understand.
It will get better, give it time, believe in yourself and your strength to get through it.
2006-10-24 04:44:59 · answer #4 · answered by *Care Bear* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly how you feel. I am in the same situation right now. The reason I am not working is because I am sink and I need surgery. What you should do is get a hobbie? Why dont you start doing something crafty? Maybe even start taking care of kids around the area to keep you busy, so you wont think about it or get a part time job. Their is a lot of things you can be doing that will keep you busy. Especially if you a computer and the net. Their are lot things you can do that will keep you busy. Good luck!!!!!
2006-10-24 04:34:13 · answer #5 · answered by Super Girl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe get a part time job. That way you can get out a little and get away from the duties at home. A part time job could be 20 to 25 hours a week or even less. It could do wonders for you. Good luck I hope you work something out that will make you feel happy again.
2006-10-24 04:32:50 · answer #6 · answered by Sexy-n-Hot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Staying at home with your child is the best thing for your kid. However if you are truly miserable you need to talk to your boyfriend and family about this.
For one thing, do you want to live in an apartment forever or do you want to buy a house? Can you afford a house on his income? If not then this might be an incentive for you to work.
2006-10-24 04:31:05 · answer #7 · answered by Corn_Flake 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there's always babysitters and daycares out there for women like you. get a job! get out of the dang house some! it's depressing to stay in all the time. going from having something to do every night to having the TV on, is a big life style change. just tell your b/f you want a part time job or something to get out of the house more. and the extra money won't hurt either.
2006-10-24 04:30:38 · answer #8 · answered by Blazzzy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to figure out what you what to do with you life. Aim yourself in a direction, get in college, try a couple of courses, and see what type of career you want. They have financial aid and daycare. I realize you are not sitting at home all day with a kid ( I have four), but you need to make something of yourself. Shopping is not the answer; just a problem if you can not afford it. Good luck
2006-10-24 04:35:21 · answer #9 · answered by Lost in Maryland 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not stuck. You stated that you are in this situation by choice, choose to get out of it. Find a job, get a hobby, work at home so you can have more shopping time, do something to get out of that depression.
2006-10-24 04:31:50 · answer #10 · answered by edcw0214 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel like this from time to time. But unfortunatly thats the price you paid to have your wonderful son. And it was worth it wasnt it? You just have to find some things to occupy yourself. Check if there are any mom and baby groups you can join. You can go and meet other moms like yourself.
2006-10-24 04:31:47 · answer #11 · answered by Candace T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋