I'm dating a guy whom I'm very jealous of, which I know is not good. I've never been this way b4 but I don't like him lookin @ another women. We work 2gether & when I see him on the phone, or on an IM or talking 2 a women I'm nosey about who it was or what it was about. Also he recently told me about a friend for 15 yrs that's a female & they talk on the phone regularly. I said that wouldn't work out. I told him I also had a friend of 10 yrs I talk 2 & hang out w/but if I didn't want him talking 2 his female friend then it's only fair I cut mine loose as well. I love this man & we're talking of marriage but I just can't see him sitting up talking on the phone to another woman, friend or not. They say they haven't done anything b4 that they have never crossed the line of friendship but me & my friend have fooled around b4 & I just think it's hard 4 females & males 2 b JUST friends, I think if your n a relationship your only friend needs 2 b your significant other. Am I wrong?
2006-10-24 04:26:18 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Both of you should introduce your friends to each other. That will help out with the jealousy.
You will never be happy if you worry yourself like this, just realize that if a person wants to cheat they will do so no matter how much you spy on them.
Learn to Trust him
2006-10-24 04:33:07 · answer #1 · answered by Bubbles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a difficult question to answer. On one hand I can see your point but on the other hand...sometimes...people (both guys and girls) have friends and/or made friends long before a guy or girl comes along and start to become a couple. So it is hard to say that you have to let your friends go...for the sake of being in a relationship. I think this is more a jealously issue and not a thing where is it right or wrong to have friends of the opposite sex. As for friends crossing the line...I don't think that is necessarily true either. Where is it said that a guy and girl (who are friends for ever) crosses over the line? I guess it would depend on the friendship and if they can handle the outcome either good or bad. I am sure their are lots of Platonic guy and girl friends!!!!
2006-10-24 05:22:26 · answer #2 · answered by LES 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When someone is in a committed relationship - a relatioship where they have told their partner that they were only going to be sleeping with them and that they expected the same from the other - then they should not have any active friends of the opposite sex. why? think about it.
women will keep guys around or on their "list" only if they feel that they will be needed sometime soon. most women don't like to be 'single' and would prefer to be in a 'relationship' so when one fails they want to have someone to "go to".
men (straight men) will only seek out "friendships" with women they feel are attractive and want to get into bed. men will wait for as long as it takes in order to move up in line so that they can have their "shot" at a woman.
so.. you can see why it is impossible for a man and a woman to have a "platonic" or "just friends" relationship. it just can't happen. At some point they will sleep together.
Add to that your jealous nature with this person - he has done somethning that makes you NOT trust him for you to be that way with ONLY him - and you have a disaster in the making.
So.... if he is unwilling to break off the 'friendships' with the women and you two can not resolve this trust issue then you two need to break up.
Look at it this way. Is this the way you want to feel forever? I don't think so.
2006-10-24 04:36:27 · answer #3 · answered by .... 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have serious jealousy and trust issues. You are also assuming that becuase you can't just have a male friend with no extra benefits that it can't be done.
I beg to differ. Both my husband and I have old friends that are of the opposite sex that we communicate with regularly and there is no thought of crossing the line. We trust each other completely. We both know of the others friends and don't try to hide when we visit or talk.
No, you shouldn't be having a piece on the side while you're in a serious relationship as that would be cheating but one can have friends of the opposite sex and just be friends. Your best friend should be your significant other but not your only friend. That would be a smothering relationship and not healthy.
You need to resolve your trust and control issues before you marry this guy or you're going to make his life (and yours) miserable. You can't even trust him on the phone with co-workers or clients.
2006-10-24 04:35:05 · answer #4 · answered by parsonsel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are FIERCELY wrong, possessive, insecure, and controlling. Life gets lonely for a human being really fast, even if they have an S.O., if they are forced to cut lifebonds they've forged with other people, who--if they've been around for that long--have gone through a lot of tough times with aforementioned person. Those sort of bonds could be more significant than blood bonds (like in my case; I'm estranged from my blood family, so my friends ARE my family). If you are this selfish and self-serving, the only love you have is for yourself. I pray you grow up and peel open your eyes soon before you start wreaking havoc on this man's life.
You obviously haven't experienced much of the adult world at all if you think men and women can't be friends and 'just' friends.
PS; you aren't much of a friend at all to your male friend of 10 years if you're willing to drop him like yesterday's garbage just so you can manipulate another human being. Just because *you're* incapable of keeping your knickers up or intimate feelings in check doesn't mean the rest of the world is a clone of you.
2006-10-24 04:31:15 · answer #5 · answered by Leena Rosen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer is no. Sexual desire is instinctual, every guy wants and craves sex. However, in the interest of preserving a relationship or necessity a guy can go without sex for a while if he must. But eventually he'll become resentful if sex is withheld long enough. I imagine you're fairly young, guys will become more understanding of your needs as you get older. For example, I've been dating a woman for a almost 2 months now, and I've had my chances to initiate sex but I've chosen not to because I'm interested in maintaining a long-term, trustworthy relationship with her, and sex just blurs that determination in the beginning. But believe me, I think about having sex with her all the time, I want it, and I'll always want it. Sex is important to men, and to most women as well. I really hope you're not looking for a guy who doesn't need sex at all, because you'll never find him, ever. That certainly doesn't mean that there is no guy out there who will genuinely care about you, your needs, and your feelings, because we most certainly do care about things other than sex. I think you'd be surprised to know how much it pains us to see our women in turmoil.
2016-05-22 06:53:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i have been dating my friend of 12 yrs since may 2006. i am separated and i met him a few months b4 i got married in 1994. but our breakup had nothing to do with my bestfriend. he fell inlove with me a few yrs ago and i realized this yr and i confessed and we have been 2gether since may (smile) if it's meant to be it will happen thats all. there are guys i have known for 20 yrs and i dont have any feelings for them. so my ans would be keep your friends. if something great comes out of it IT WAS MEANT TO BE. Whether it hurts you or him. True Love will cut through the universe and find each other.
2006-10-24 04:32:35 · answer #7 · answered by prettysexycalves 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
folks feel differently about this
being 'everything' to your partner is practically impossible
friendships are nice
males and females can be friends w/o sex or tension
my husband has female friends and I have male friends - the key is that we know each others friends and socialize together at times
I've always believed that the moment I feel threatened by my husband having a friend then that's an indicator that I have a much bigger problem in my relationship with him than simply another woman.
Good luck sorting it all out.
2006-10-24 04:31:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
very much so because when our other is getting on our nerves or doing things that we do not understand it is always good to have that friend that is the same sex as your mate to help you understand.. some people can just be friends and leave it at that and if you have no reason to suspect then you should not accuse. that is the worst. so let him have your friends and you the same just know where to draw the line
2006-10-24 04:30:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you are wrong how boring is that ? You need to get your feelings in check, and wait until you have a specific reason to be suspicious/ jealous, that is a huge turn-off and could push him away if you are not careful.
2006-10-24 04:31:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋