I know i've already asked a question regarding my inalws but here goes again... basically i'm living with my fiance and her parents as i've had to cut back hours whilst having chemo, her parents mean well and are really nice, however, they keep making comments about us "Finding our own place". I can understand that they're wanting their home to themselves but it's making me feel really under pressure as I can't work more hours than i already am doing until i'm better and i'm stressed enough as it is trying to stay positive about everything. I don't want them to think i'm being rude but it does frustrate me as if i could afford to rent somewhere for the two of us then i would. Do you think I should say something or just keep biting my tongue?
2006-10-24 04:19:30 · 20 answers · asked by Christian S 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I personally would say something, talk to your fiancee about it 1st and ask her to talk to them with you, but you must tell them how you feel. Just explain that although you would love a place of your own while you are recovering there isnt enough money and that you really appreciate what they have done for you but the underlying pressure they hint at for you to move on is making you feel worse and not aiding your recovery. I think you have gone through enough and have great respect that you are working at all at the moment after what you have been through and they should feel the same way. Hope this helps, i have a form of leukaemia so i know how tiring it makes you feel and you really need to avoid stress. good luck xxx
2006-10-24 04:28:38 · answer #1 · answered by looby1967 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear about your situation.
Is there no way you could stay with your family for a while and then alternate between them? That way your in laws can have their house back for a while. What about your fiancee? Could she earn a bit more whilst you are off and look to move into your own place? Perhaps you will only be able to afford a studio flat but that may be better than feeling so under pressure every day.
Try contacting Cancer Research or McMillan Care as they may be able to advise on some benefits that you may be entitled to in the short term that could allieviate the money situation. Or the local council may be able to help with accommodation in the circumstances as you may be classed as overcrowded where you are at the minute. It may help if you laid it on a bit thick about how much it is affecting your progress living in that situation and that the in laws are kicking you out. You may get more points if you are being made homeless.
Good luck and God bless xxx
2006-10-24 04:28:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd bite your tongue mate... All will come good eventually.
You don't want the added pressure of finding somewhere else to live until you are better and can afford somewhere of your own, However is the council an option ? You could get a council house/flat until your in a better position.
Good luck with it though mate and chin up.
2006-10-24 04:25:51 · answer #3 · answered by mark leshark 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Considering the situation that you are in, I think they would be more sympathetic. Do you not have any other family members that could help out until you get through this? Take time in what you would like to say to your in-laws and be honest about how they are making you feel, you know stressed out, depressed, because of what you are going through. Just choose your words carefully, sharing your gratitude for all they have done already but keep a kool head.
2006-10-24 04:42:33 · answer #4 · answered by rzblossom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you not get help from the council whilst your having treatment? I know you might not want to but it could give you all some space with out having the stress of extra living?
I hope you get and feel better real soon! Your a brave brave man
2006-10-24 04:24:47 · answer #5 · answered by GeorgieP 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why cant your wife get a job to help pay the rent that would help .If she has children then compromise with the inlaws by asking them to mind the kids for the shortest possible time while you both work that way they get some of there Independence back.
2006-10-24 04:29:51 · answer #6 · answered by john h 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unsympathetic bastards. You are going through an awful time and they make remarks like that. I would try the council and see what they say. Bite your tongue for now, as the last thing you need is an atmosphere. Get well soon.
2006-10-24 04:28:19 · answer #7 · answered by Annie M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you need to talk to them and say that its upsetting you and you feel not wanted there and explain that you are sorry for the way things are at the moment and you well you know i could go on for ever YOU MUST TALK TO THEM AND LET THEM KNOW HOW YOU FEEL and the last thing you need at this time is stress involve your girlfriend as well good luck with your health I will pray for you take great care hope all goes well
2006-10-24 07:09:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let your fiance go and speak with her parents cause she has a right to ask her parents. Explain to them that you have to get better to find a place and that till then ask them to wait.
Good luck and hope you get better soon.
2006-10-24 04:36:10 · answer #9 · answered by Mr Business 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See if your fiance can afford someting and between the 2 of you get your own place.
2006-10-24 04:47:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋