We have had a very up and down relationship. He cheated on me 2 yrs ago and really hurt me. My family can't forgive him for that. I have. He has mentioned that he wants to get engaged. I do love him and would love to take the next step but I think my family will be very upset and not want to know me. Please help.
2006-10-24 03:44:37 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Families are meant to look out for you, not judge you! They are there for you when things go wrong, they lend a shoulder to cry on etc. If you have forgiven your partner then what right do they have to hold a grudge? It's your life, you live it how you want & if the relationship fails hopefully your family will be there to help you through it. Good luck
2006-10-24 03:55:39 · answer #1 · answered by C Greene 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A person who cheats once will likely do it again. It's best you don't get seriously attached to this person unless you really want to go through a painful divorce at some point in the future. Your family is probably more objective about this man than you are...after all you are in love, which covers a multitude of sins, but doesn't make them go away. The family just doesn't want to see you hurt again. Take a break from this relationship and get some distance.
2006-10-24 12:27:32 · answer #2 · answered by anna 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They wouldn't be a very loving and supportive family if they blanked you out for all the choices you make that they don't agree with. Obviously they are concerned about you and don't want you to be hurt again but at the end of the day it is your decision and if they can't respect that, then really that is their problem, not yours. You are an adult and don't have to run your life past them or have their approval. You have forgiven your partner for his infidelity, a really difficult thing to get past but you've managed it. If you think you have a real chance of happiness with this man then go for it, but if you have any doubts whatsoever, just keep it as it has been.
Good luck!
2006-10-24 11:00:43 · answer #3 · answered by Lost and found 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're in a tough situation, but some of it you may have brought on yourself.
I learned many years ago, when my husband's sister was having marital difficulties, that there are times when it might be better to share the problems with a close friend than to share them with your parents. To your parents, nobody is quite good enough for you. If you shared the reality of his cheating on you with them, that reality validates parental thinking. You might forgive (and maybe even forget), but your parents, who value you much more than they value him, will have more difficulty doing so.
My guess is that, should you decide to take the next step and get engaged, your parents will not cut off ties with you. Believe me, I'm a parent, and I want to know my children. Your parents may, however, carry some doubts into the future. These doubts are about your future happiness. Hopefully, your partner will work hard to put these doubts to rest--to show that he really cares for and about you--and your parents will come to love him as they love you.
2006-10-24 11:56:06 · answer #4 · answered by Le Miccine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in the same predicament. My family cannot stand my partner as he lied to me when we first started seeing each other. I have forgiven him now but my family have not. So now my family will not speak to me as I have chosen to stay with him. That's up to them. They either accept I am an adult and can make my own choices, as well as my own mistakes, or they can go and live their lives without me in it.
I have recently found out I am expecting and I called to tell my mum 6 weeks ago - I haven't heard back from her since. She obviously doesn't care so why should I? And I certainly don't want to bring a child up in the situation of constant arguing or in an environment where every movement is controlled.
Be strong. Only you know if you are making the right decision. You might not be but if you don't try, how will you ever succeed?
Good luck!
2006-10-24 11:00:10 · answer #5 · answered by x x 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
when did he cheat was it at he beginning of your relationship? Its still bad that he did it but if you knew that he was guilty for doing it and wont do it again then be with him. At least he was honest enough to tell you, by the sound of it he knows it was wrong.
But you cant just be without a family, its your decision.
Talk to your family, ask them why they dont like him is it only the affair?
I'd tell my boyfriend that I want a break see how you cope alone, you never know you may meet somone!
At the end of the day which cant you live without family or boyfriend?
2006-10-24 17:37:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although you don't really want to upset your family, the decision is yours at the end of the day. If you think about it like this... Do you think you and your partner have a future? That you's will be happy together for years to come? If so, go for it babe. Although at the minute your parents aren't happy, they love you and once they've got their head around it, i'm sure they'll come round to the idea. You're their daughter, it will take more than that for them to fall out with you x
2006-10-24 15:32:24 · answer #7 · answered by I-Love-My-Boys 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be very careful. You can get engaged just do not get married right away. He could hurt you again. Give it more time for your sake. If it is meant to be perhaps your family will come around. My mom finally did when I had a ring on my finger and I told my Dad he did not have to approve I was getting married anyway.
Good luck but be cautious.
2006-10-24 11:29:54 · answer #8 · answered by CGS 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your family will accept him eventually if he treats you nicely from here on out. But... will he? I'd maybe take the engagement ring if you think he'll be faithful and treat you nicely forever, but set the wedding date for a year out.....just to be sure he can be nice for a year or so. If things aren't going well in 6 months, give the ring back.
2006-10-24 12:06:10 · answer #9 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can live an up and down emotional life like he will give you, more power to you
The stress of living with someone like the could be killing in that you will always be sad and never know when he is telling the truth. I know that I could never have kids and let them grow up in that type of environment.
You need counseling for batter women...He is doing a form of abuse by using physiology to keep you and then hurt you over and over
2006-10-24 11:01:38 · answer #10 · answered by Wicked 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋