What seperates those who were abused as children and turn into their parents from those who don't?

Question

How do you deal with being abused as a child?What makes some do the same to their children while some do the complete opposite?

What is considered dealing with it?Does it have to involve therapy etc. to make sure the same things doesn't happen to the abused's children?

Answer 1

Those who deal with the abuse in a constructive manner and determine that they will not repeat the mistakes of their parents avoid doing the same things to their kids. Obviously, those who do not deal with the abuse issues find themselves passing the "gift" along to their own children.

Answer 2

I was an abused child and the only thing i can tell you is that when I got married, I was determined not to be like my parents when i had children and i never have. I don't have any sympathy for people who use the abuse as an excuse to abuse others. it doesn't have to be that way. you can overcome it, I did and without any help except for my husband and God's grace.

Answer 3

This is like a goal you set for yourself and do everything in your power to reach. "I will not be like my parents" is your daily mantra. It is not as tough as it seems. You love your children, they are a part of you, and to give them anything other than the best would not only hurt them but you as well. I have overcome the abuse by my parents by willpower and patience.

Answer 4

I think those who never deal with what happened to them as a child are bound to repeat it. Parents who abuse were abused themselves. I got help for mine and I could NEVER hurt a child--mine or anyone else's for any reason. I couldn't hurt an adult either.

You have to work through it. And you can't blame what happened to you as a child for all your problems as an adult. Adults make their OWN decisions....good or bad.