My boyfriend and I have been dating for 9 months and living together for 6 months. He left a couple days ago. He came over last night, we had a great talk and even made love, now this morning he tells me that he is having doubts about us. Told me that I need to change who I am or it wont work? He thinks that I am needy because I dont like to be left out, thinks that because I dont have a past interest that I have no goals. I believe that if someone truley loves you than they would accept you for you? Is my line of thinking correct here?
2006-10-24 03:34:08 · 38 answers · asked by Beckie . 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Love should be unconditional. I would move on at this point. he wants you to change everything that you are, and though you may try hard, it would be difficult, and could only result in resentment on your part.
How can you possibly change who you are? Your life experiences, your heritage, your background have made you who you are, and nothing can change that.
Let him go, perhaps he'll realize he has lost a good thing, and he'll come to really appreciate who you are.
Good Luck
2006-10-24 03:39:23 · answer #1 · answered by Michael 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is and how dare he ask you to change who you are. Girl you havent been with him long enough to change anything. My boy friend and I have been together for three years and lived together just as long and we understand that the change has to happen between the both of you, you know what I mean.? In other words, when he says youre needy and you need to change that, think of it this way, He is doing something to make you needy so it goes both ways you see. So screw him and the white horse he rode in on, dump him and find a man that is willing to work out priblems rather than blame them on you because a man like that will get you nowhere.
2006-10-24 03:43:43 · answer #2 · answered by raylenejade 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why must you change all of sudden? You are correct for thinking he must love you for who you are. Maybe the real reason is that his feelings changed. Now he is looking for excuses. Let him go. But is he correct in saying that you are needy? Because that will put a lot of strain on any relationship. You need to be content with who you are, and not need a man to make you feel you are okay.
2006-10-24 03:41:42 · answer #3 · answered by caramel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can always try to better yourself or the relationship, but I believe no one can really change themselves or someone else. I don't think you are needy I think that you love him so much and want to be with him. But he's making the situation difficult for the both of you. Find love somewhere else before you get to attached, I went through the same thing with a guy that wanted to do his own thing but when he wanted something from me he was up my A**..
2006-10-24 03:46:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When a guy tells you that you need to change, it's over. You will never be able to change enough to please him because it's not you! When someone loves you, they love all of you and accept you for who you are, faults and all, and they don't try to change you.
I think you might as well end your relationship with him. I'm sorry to say that, but I really believe that he is always going to find fault with you and want you to change something. Obviously, he feels that he has nothing that needs changing in order to make the relationship work. This is a very selfish outlook on his part.
2006-10-24 03:40:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your line of thinking is correct, but I don't know how needy you are. But...most men don't like needy women, so if you can be a little less needy, maybe you will see a difference. It may just be an excuse too for him to get out. See what happens. Good luck
2006-10-24 03:47:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Drop that guy like a sack of potatoes...If he cant accept you for you, then he doesnt really love you. And you dont have to change for anyone....there is only one person who can decide if you need a change and that's you. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and there is a right somebody for everyone.....And they will accept you with every fault you have to over...I mean no one is perfect. Leave that guy...
2006-10-24 03:45:30 · answer #7 · answered by Raina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. If he cannot love you and accept you the way you are, then there is no point. I'm sure he's just perfect?! He also took advantage of you, having sex then virtually dumping you afterward. What a creep. You can find a better person. Get rid of him. But, you might also take some of what he said to heart and give yourself a "personality makeover"......and show him you can do just fine without him!
2006-10-24 03:37:38 · answer #8 · answered by blondee 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Either you do, say, act & think how he wants when he wants or it's over
Dump him!!!
You say you don't like to be left out, if you're not giving him time to live his life away from you like time with friends, just him and his friends then I can see why he'd think you're too needy.
A relationship doesn't mean you have to be together 24/7, in fact you both need time and space to do things on your own or it will not work
2006-10-24 03:39:38 · answer #9 · answered by madamspud 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We are who we are. Making certain accomodations and compromises for another is part of a relationship. Demanding that the other person change or it's over is a recipe for disaster. If this relationship is to work he needs to understand your needs and work with you. You in turn need to do the same for him. It seems like he is not willing to do this, in which case I would say move on.
2006-10-24 03:38:45 · answer #10 · answered by danl747 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋