tantrum or not?

Question

I dont know if my son is throwing a tantrum or not, after he eats he starts screaming and i try to give him more food but he doesnt want it. also in the morning he does the same thing, it is very frustrating and i dont know what is wrong and i have to keep my cool with them but it is hard at times. he is 14 months old. he does this also when i walk away from him, but i just fetching something in the other. dont know

Answer 1

How frustrating! It's really difficult when toddlers scream and/or throw tantrums because usually when we try to help, it doesn't get better. There are different reasons children scream, sometimes they're in pain or afraid, sometimes they just want attention, sometimes they're frustrated or bored or angry. It's really good that you're aware of when it happens because knowing what might trigger a tantrum is helpful.

If a child starts screaming right after eating (on a regular basis) I would tend to talk with my doctor or nurse about it. Since it seems he's not hungry, perhaps as you eat together (or feed him or whatever your system is) you could periodically ask if he's had enough. If he's ready to get down, etc. I don't mean hovering at every bite, but it's possible that your son has learned that, when he's full or had enough, if he screams, the meal ends.

As for the walking away, my first baby (son) used to do that, too. It was horrible for many reasons...one of which was that one time when I left the room he actually fell and hurt himself and needed me and I ignored his crying because it sounded like all the other times (oooo, that was a hard day-I think I cried as much as he did). Ultimately if you reward his behaviour, he will continue doing it, so it's worth trying a few things to stop the tantrum before it starts. One thing that might help is if you practice moving away from him. If he's playing in one part of the room, move to another part. Praise him for playing happily when you move away, "You were playing over here and mommy was way over there and you were so happy. That makes me very happy" and give him a hug. If that's not a problem, try playing peek a boo, first behind your hands, then from behind furniture where he can't see you, then from behind a door (so you actually go out the door), etc. Make it fun. Praise works wonders every time you leave the room or walk away and he doesn't scream.

No sneaking though. Let him know if you're leaving the room or wherever and when you'll be back. Kids thrive on honesty and trust.

And, if despite your efforts your son continues to throw tantrums, it's best to ignore him. At 14 months you probably need to stay close so he doesn't hurt himself, but don't give in and don't even look at him (he'll probably check to see if you are). Even negative attention (a swat or getting angry at him) is attention, so best to play it neutral. If there's a pause or he is silent for a minute in between breaths, you can always ask if he's finished and wouldn't he rather play a game with you or go outside, etc.

God bless you. Wishing you the best. Hang in there-you're doing great!

Answer 2

One of my brothers kids was the same way. The way I made him stop that when he was with me was I told him to take his butt else where and scream all he wanted to. He was not going to get his way. And he did too. He want over to some place in the house and screamed for like 5-10 min. This went on a couple times then he figured out that I was serious and he finally quit. He still starts to throw them sometimes(hes four now) but all I have to do is raise my eyebrows and he shuts up. He did this too in a mall once. I told him to do the same thing but stay where I could see him. He went off in the middle of the store and screamed his butt off. lol. I got many stares and questions but I just told them that he was just throwing a tantrum and he wasn't getting what he wanted and he would shut up soon. I don't have anymore problems with him because I kept with what I was enforcing. I didn't give him anything when he threw a tantrum. I just waited it out and once he stopped I went on with my business as usual.

Answer 3

Re-read Dr Imzadi's answer. Your child is too young to be throwing a tantrum to try to control you. That's a silly suggestion. Screaming is the only way he can communicate with you. Imagine if you couldn't talk - how frustrating it would be to try to get your point across. Try to find out what he wants. Does he want a drink straight after eating to wash the food down? There is something simple he wants to stop the screaming, and you have to find out what it is. He's not throwing a tantrum. He's trying to communicate.

Answer 4

i would say that if he screams when you walk away from him or at similar times then that is just a tantrum. as hard as it can be, ignoring and distracting are the best things. try not to react in any way to his screams, keep a calm face and voice and he'll think he can't get to you. i have an autisitic son and this is the way we had to modify his behaviour so i tried it on my daughter and it worked. though they are by no means perfect little angels. if he's screaming after he eats, it's may be worth looking into so that you can rule out any digestive or stomach problems.

Answer 5

It sounds like a classic tantrum. He'll get past this phase...although it may take a year. There's nothing you can do for a tantrum except ignore it (mostly). Giving it attention will only encourage him to do it more. Once the tantrum is almost over, he probably won't remember why he is upset and then you can come in with a rescue or distraction.

Answer 6

Obviously, he's not screaming for more food. Find out exactly what is causing him to cry after eating. He obviously has some need that is not being met. Maybe he wants something as trivial as to be held. He is still too young to be manipulative. Responding promptly to his needs will make him feel safer and result in a more independant child.

Babies cry when you leave them because they don't yet understand you will come back. They're afraid you'll be gone forever. So understand that will make him cry. Leaving him alone for brief periods will help him learn you are coming back and he'll stop crying when you leave him.

Answer 7

It's his way of communicating his wants and moods. He's screaming because he wants your attention or because he wants you to stop doing something from feeding him to leaving him to go into another room.
Don't give in to him when he screams, do what it is you need to do, then ignore the screaming & in the brief silence when he gets air for the next scream ask him if he's finished yet then ignore him till the next gasp for breath. Once he realises he isn't getting your attention or his own way with this behaviour he will do it less and less

Answer 8

although tantrums can start way young, i think this is more a combination of him communicating, discovering his voice, discovering consquences....and a little bit of separation anxiety when you leave the room. my youngest is 12 months--and he is very vocal when eating. he makes a mess. he gets upset if i leave the room. also, at about 14 months---they have molars coming in....

Answer 9

He has learned that you give him attention because he screams. If you continue giving him attention when he does it, he will keep doing it.

Answer 10

Ignore him he's trying to get a rise out of you!