Retired Husbands?

Question

Dear Mrs. Fenton,

Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Fenton has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this type of behavior and have considered banning the entire family from shopping in any of our stores.

We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. Three of our clerks are attending counseling from the trouble your husband has caused. All complaints against Mr. Fenton have been compiled and are listed below.

Sincerely,

Mr. Wally Underpants
President and CEO of Wal-Mart Complaint Department.

MEMO

Re: Mr. Bill Fenton - Complaints -

15 Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse/partner is shopping

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

(And; last, but not least!)

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited a while; then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

Answer 1

hahahaha!I wish i saw all tht happen!:D

Answer 2

Well, he doesn't sound entirely unproductive. I recently lost my job & my fiance works out of our apartment. It was hard to get used to at first but we're settling into the new arrangement. I really don't want to be rude, but it just seems as though no matter how good anybody has it, they can find something else that bothers them. Husband doesn't work, husband works too much. Husband never home, husband home too much. You're in a position where you have virtually no bills, house paid, cars paid, pension, plus he's not just working on some random hobby, he's also making more money at that & doing something he loves in the process. Any idea how much most people would like to be in your position?

Answer 3

ur quit good at telling jokes..that's very good...should i try to do this things in a mall???

Answer 4

lmao,too funny

Answer 5

sounds like you have a winner there.

Answer 6

very very good! that one put a smile on me!

Answer 7

he eh ehe h ehe ehe ehe 4he

Answer 8

ha ha he he lol that is funny!

Answer 9

LMAO

Answer 10

hahahahahah................. [wait......i'm dead]