2006-10-24 02:41:20 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
want a joke here u go:
The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists...
Two men and a woman.
For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.
"We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances.
In side of this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her!!!"
The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife."
The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job."
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out
with tears in his eyes." I tried, but I can't kill my wife."
The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."
Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions to kill her husband.
She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls.
After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman.
She wiped the sweat from her brow, and said, "This gun is loaded with blanks. I had to beat him to death with the chair."
2006-10-24 03:18:51 · answer #1 · answered by anitha 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell me Smiley…have all the jokes you received here refreshed you??? If your answer is “YES” then that’s just great! Mission accomplished; If your answer is “NO” then it proves that jokes cannot refresh you…either way I don’t have to tell you a joke. However, I am sure you will be sporting enough to give me the 10 points…keep SMILING that is the better way to refresh yourself.
2006-10-25 09:35:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not a joke but it is realy funny:-
Failure to select correct domain names may result in situations such as the following (legitimate) companies:-
1. A site called ‘Who Represents‘ where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name… www.whorepresents.com
2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at www.expertsexchange.com
3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at www.penisland.net
4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at www.therapistfinder.com
5. There’s the Italian Power Generator company… www.powergenitalia.com
6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales www.molestationnursery.com
7. If you’re looking for computer software, there’s always www.ipanywhere.com
8. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church. Their website is www.cummingfirst.com
9. Then, of course, there’s these brainless art designers, and their website www.speedofart.com
10. Want to holiday in Tahoe? www.gotahoe.com
*********************************************
IF YOU TRY, YOU WILL FIND OUT THAT ALL OF THE DOMAIN NAMES GIVEN ARE WORKING AND ARE LEGITIMATE
*************
And here is a joke:-
A man playing on a new golf course got confused as to what hole he was on. He saw a lady playing ahead and asked that what hole he was playing. She replied,"I'm on the 7th, and you're a hole behind me so you must be on the 6th"
He thanked her and went back. On the back nine, the same thing happened & he asked the lady again. She said, "I'm on the 14th, you are a hole behind me, means u r on 13th."
He thanked her. After finishing he went to the clubhouse and saw the same lady sitting there. He went to her and said, "Let me buy you a drink for your help."
He started a conversation and he asked her what kind of work she do. She said she was in sales, and he said he is in sales too. He asked what she sells. She replied, "If I tell, you will laugh."
"No, I wouldn't," he said. She said,"I sell tampons."
With that he fell on the floor laughing so hard.
She said,"See, I knew you would laugh."
"That's not what I'm laughing at," he replied.
"I' sell toilet paper, so I'm STILL 1hole behind you
2006-10-24 02:52:42 · answer #3 · answered by Pd 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
While walking along a beach shore, a guy finds an ancient bottle. Upon opening it, a genie is released. The genie informs the guy that, for freeing him, he will grant him one wish (and says he cannot wish for more wishes). The guy ponders his opportunity, and says what he would like is for the genie to create an expressway from California to Hawaii, so he and his family can freely travel out to and from the island anytime they wish to do so. The genie says that the wish is impossible to grant, because there is not enough concrete and steel in the world to build such a structure, and it would never hold up out in the fierceness of the Pacific Ocean. He tells the guy he has to wish for something else.
The guy ponders again, and then tells the genie he wants to be able to understand the mind of women. He wants to be able to grasp how they logically think, as well as why they act the way they do. He wants to be able to firmly understand their mindset to where there will never be any confusion or misunderstanding the next time he and his wife have a disagreement. Upon thinking about what the guy wished for for a minute, the genie's response was, "You want it to be two lanes or four?"
2006-10-24 04:44:05 · answer #4 · answered by rhino 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Here are some hindi jokes my friends told me. I don't if you'll like them or not though.
what is the cube of 13?
are you calulating????
do not!!
just scroll down!!
Its : SUROOR
wondering how?
thats bcoz.... TERA * TERA * TERA = SUROOR
=====================
ek aadmi ki 6 fingers thi,use log ghanashyam bulate the...batao kyon?
socho..
nahi aaya samaz me
aur socho
chalo batahi dete hai
kyonki uska naam ghanashyam hi tha..
=====================
What did the kangaroo say when she found her baby missing?
...Aaila!!!!! kisne mera pocket maar liya
=====================
A friend gives a barrel full of FEVICOL to his friend on his birthday.
What does this friend who receive the gift sing???
Dushman na kare dost ne ye kaam kiya hai
Umra bhar ka GUM hame inaam diya hai ...
=====================
What would Dharmendra say to Hema Malini if he wants to tell her to call him up...?
.... Ring De Basanti :)
2006-10-26 00:05:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is one similarity between mobile and wife is that always
a person thinks aftergetting it that I could have waited for some more time to get a better model'
2006-10-24 19:45:37 · answer #6 · answered by zenega p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A guy dies and goes to hell
The devil meets him at the gate and says, "Alright,
you have died and come to hell. You will spend eternity
here, but you get to choose how to spend it. You may
choose one of these three doorways. Once you choose a
door, you may not change it.
So let's get started."
The devil opens Door One. The guy looks in and sees a
couple of people standing on their heads on a Concrete floor.
The guy says, "No way, let's move on."
The devil opens Door Two. The guy sees a few more people
standing on their heads on a Wood floor. The guy says,
"No way, let's move on."
The devil opens Door Three. The guy sees a bunch of people
standing knee-deep in cow manure drinking coffee. The guy
says, "Great, this is the one I will chose." The devil
says, "OK, wait right here, I will get you some coffee."
The guy settles in with his coffee thinking that this
isn't so bad. What's the big deal?
After about 10 minutes a voice comes over the loud
speaker saying, "Coffee break's over. Back on your heads!"
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/kool_kolkata/
2006-10-25 22:21:22 · answer #7 · answered by Samir Mehta 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 40s or early 50s.
"May I help you?" she asked.
"I want to see Valerie," the man replied.
"Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else," said the madam.
"No. I must see Valerie," was the man's reply.
Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man that she charged $1,000 a visit.
Without hesitation, the man pulled out ten one-hundred dollar bills, gave them to Valerie, and they went upstairs.
After an hour, the man calmly left.
The next night, the same man appeared again, demanding to see Valerie.
Valerie explained that none had ever come back two nights in a row--too expensive--and there were no discounts. The price was still $1,000. Again the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left.
The following night the man was there again. Everyone was astounded that he had come for the third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs.
After their session, Valerie questioned the man. "No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?" she asked.
The man replied, "South Carolina." "Really" she said. "I have family in South Carolina."
"I know," the man said. "Your father died, and I am your sister's
attorney. She asked me to give you your $3,000 inheritance."
2006-10-25 03:39:11 · answer #8 · answered by Electric 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sardarji fixed an answering machine at home. Two days later he disconnected it because he was getting complaints like "Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai."
2006-10-27 20:25:04 · answer #9 · answered by s.p. 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A sweet girl goes to Banta shop and said-"Mujhe underwear dikhao".
Banta sharmate hue -"Aj pahan kar nahi aya."
2006-10-24 21:24:03 · answer #10 · answered by NAZIYA S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋