On saturday he told his sister that we were getting married, she was happy for us and asked if her daughter was going to be a bridesmaid we said yes (me and his sister hate each other, so does he and his sisters boyfriend) so we rang back last night to ask the little girl to be a bridesmaid but his sister said to him that his neice cannot be a bridesmaid for us now that she has had time to think about it.......im mad because it isnt about his sister, its his neice who we would like but otherwise im fine about it. His parents wont get involved although if it was the other way round they would.......and he contacted his neices dad (his sisters ex) and he said to me that he would sort it out and that she would be a bridesmaid......but i dont want him to now because frankly i dont want all the stress and trouble........i figure if his sister wants to be like that then fine f**k off and dont have anything to do with us........but he wont have it.....what do you think
2006-10-24 02:23:12 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
His sisster is an idiot and she causes arguments all the time.......i was prepared to put all the bad stuff aside so i could have his neice as a bridesmaid and now she is making it about her.........she even said to him that he wasn't happy in this relationship with me and that its not right........and i should apologise to her (what for i dont know) the woman is 33 and acts like she is 10 my dog has more brain power........but i try to make an effort and she throws everything back in our faces
2006-10-24 02:29:13 · update #1
No matter what you do his sister is going to be a pain in the ars. You need to decide what you want. If you don't want to deal with them, then don't worry about the niece being in the wedding. Because the sister is going to ***** if she is and ***** if she isn't. And as long as she isn't then you won't have to deal with it. Plus the fact, his parents won't get involved and make her act human!! I say screw them all and dont' even give it a second thought about them being in the wedding. She prob doesn't want to pay for the dress and you'll always have the problem where she might ruin it- by pulling your niece out of the wedding last mind to screw you. I say forget them.
Just take a deep breath and move on. I know, my soon to be in-law sister are driving me nuts to. One is soo jeloulus all she can do it bad mouth the wedding but say we are just wasting all this money- Never married has two kids, boyfriend in jail. The other one is throwing a fit because we are having a formal wedding no children- also not married but lives with her boyfriend and has two really small children. She is threatening to not come, which we calmly said "fine, you do what you need to do" to. I am not paying $200 for two children to be there because she doesn't feel like paying a babysister!! You'll find that jelouis is prob the main reason for all of this. People get very nasty around weddings, cause God forbid someone has something nicer then them or more!!!
2006-10-24 02:39:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I would leave it, if she doesn't want her daughter to be your bridesmaid then she will only get more sh***y with you if someone else gets involved and tries to persuade her.
Planning the wedding is stressful enough without giving yourself more stress on top of it.
I would just tell your fiance that you don't mind not having his niece as you would rather everyone was happy (its a happy thing after all) and that you will just have the bridesmaids that you really want.
Further down the line, if the mother changes her mind, then you can decide if there is time to change the plan. But I wouldn't antagonise anyone you don't have to.
2006-10-24 02:31:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't stress its your wedding!!! Okay if there is already drama and your fiances nieces isn't even in the wedding yet, just think how bad it will be when she is in the wedding. I think this is a clear sign from up above DON'T put her in the wedding. Let your fiances sister feel stupid and have her daugter sad at her because she is RUDE. Its not your problem anymore, don't stress, find someone else. Try not to let your sister in law run your life or your wedding, that is all she wants. Tell your fiance that you found someone else to be a bridesmaid and that is the end of it..... and try not to be around your sister in law so much, she is just going to try and bring your special time down. Good Luck!!!
2006-10-24 05:44:47 · answer #3 · answered by totallylovableandinlove 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations on your engagement and future wedding. Your future sister-in-law should get a grip. However, from your side, you can maintain the higher ground. All you need to do is send a card or letter to her saying that you would very much like the niece to be a part of the wedding and the invitation remains open. Then let the sister decide. You don't have to apologize. You have the power to refuse to engage this crazy person in arguments. Stay above it and before long, if there's a side to be chosen, everyone will be on yours.
2006-10-24 04:47:29 · answer #4 · answered by Tara P 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you havent done anything wrong by the sound of it, and it doesnt sound like there is much you can do about his niece not being your bridesmaid. As long as his niece is fully aware that you would like her to be your bridesmaid, you know you have done what you can. Let your sister inlaw feel bad that she didnt allow it, it will all fall back on her eventually anyway. Just make sure your always the good guys in your nieces eyes and dont give your sister in law the opportunity to ruin your day by being petty.Make sure you invite her too, so she cant say anything about you pushing her out. It sounds like she wants a reaction, so just dont give it to her!
2006-10-24 02:34:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He needs to let it go. His family has enough issues and the last thing you need is conflict and division in your wedding party. Think of it as a blessing. If this child were in your wedding, you'd have to deal with the sister on some level as she is the mom. Move on and continue planning a HAPPY wedding. Put it to him like that instead of hurling insults at his sister and saying she should f**k off. 1)It's not a good attitude to take (at least out loud) towards you future in-laws. Please don't ever forget that blood is thicker than water. 2)You need to help him be comfortable with the decision that has been made and be the bigger person.
2006-10-24 03:24:09 · answer #6 · answered by Apple21 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, it depends on how old his neice is.
In the end, whether or not you like his sister, she is his neice's Mother and has the right to say what she will or will not do.
It is his sister's loss if she wants to drive the distance between you and to keep his neice from partaking in the events.
The other thing that I want to mention is to consider his neice's age ... is it more appropriate if she is a junior bridesmaid?
Good luck
-EZ
2006-10-24 02:28:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
If his sister wants to play funny buggers then you're right - tell her to get to f**k. It's your wedding. Don't let her try and interfere with any of the plans and arrangements coz she just sounds like she's being a twisted *****! Concentrate on planning your big day and just ignore her. If his niece doesn't get to be bridesmaid then it's her mothers fault. She shouldn't use her kids as a tool like that. It's you and her that don't get on, not his niece!
2006-10-24 02:32:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
No you do not need the stress.. I would try to ask her one more time and move on ..it is YOUR DAY !~!~! Belive me u will not need the extra stress..It happend with me.. U have to think about all the fittings for the dress shoes and night befor and if she will make it to the wedding on top of everything eles..And it sounds like her mom will be sticking her nosie into your wedding alot .Saying oh no she does not look good in that dress or that color and try to change it ,and show up late for the fitting and everything that u can think wrong of it will most likey happend and who knows u might even end up paying for her dress on top of that.. It happend to me .. i should have just said no hun i am sorry but i have alot to worry about and i would love for her to be in the wedding but it seems it will just be to hard and explain all that u have to go thought the fitting and all..You have to much to worry about U don't need more... IT's YOUR DAY!!!
2006-10-24 02:53:38 · answer #9 · answered by animal lover 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
weddings always seem to cause trouble for some people, im just having my 4 year old niece & thats it, ive explained to everyone else i cant have all of them coz its too expensive otherwise i would have 12 bridesmaid.
my point is its your big day just try to enjoy the planning of ur wedding, let everyone else argue.
ps: his niece will only blame her mum when she find out she wont be a bridesmaid!
2006-10-24 09:18:19 · answer #10 · answered by canim 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋