I love the job I am at and I am going to move up the ladder soon. But yet my husband want me take a job working 60-70 hrs a week when all I have to work now is 35-40. There is a huge differrence in the pay but I have 3 girls 8-9-12. I am offended that he would suggest this to me. I have a hard enough caring for them now. I work 8 hrs a day, come home cook , clean help with homework, take them the dentist and doctor run errands for him, pay the bills (with his check and mine) He make 15$ hr. He says we will get ahead faster. Oh well my kids come first, when they are grown and out of the house, then cool I had already set my mind to work after they are out of the house but until then I barely have time to breathe now as it is. What do think? I told him that he is wrong for suggesting that. He said do what you want to do. Am I being inconsiderate of us getting ahead in life sooner than later?
2006-10-24 02:21:34 · 16 answers · asked by jjkk 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You are lucky to have a job you love, with opportunites to move up. So many people don't. You have more than enough to do already with work and family. The best thing you can do for your family is to build in time with you to enjoy while they are around. Believe me they grow up fast. Overloading on work hours will not achieve happiness. Your husband may have just been testing the waters or just making a comment. We women always think and analyze everything. Just let it pass and he will probably forget it. Do what is best for YOU. You are not inconsiderate at all, but being smart about life.
2006-10-24 02:49:09 · answer #1 · answered by v 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't do it, but that's just me. Money isn't everything, and as long as you are making it, then you don't have any real need to have the extra money. Getting ahead is nice, but there are so many more important things. Like being there for your girls.
Plus, quitting a job means giving up any and all benefits you've acquired so far, like vacation time and health coverage, that you may not be eligible for at a new job until several months have past. I would keep the existing job, and wait it out. Raises and promotions will come in time, and you won't have to work any extra hours to get the money he wants. Every time you start a new job, you are starting from scratch. So it takes time to work your way up the ladder just to get back what you left behind.
The point out to him all the work you do outside of the job at home. You won't have the time to do it with this new job he's suggested, so it would fall on him to get it done. Could you depend on him to pick up the slack that you will leave behind? Is he ready to do more cooking, cleaning, homework help, doctor's appointments, errands, etc... since you won't have the time to do them anymore? Does he want the added work, or will he still expect you to do it all?
If he's so hung up on money, suggest he be the one to find a better paying job, work extra hours at his existing job, or even take a second part time job. You already have your plate full with a job and being a wife and mother.
Then talk about ways you can cut costs. If money is tight, there are probably things that you can save money on. Keep a month long list of everything you both spend money on. See what frivilous expenses can be reduced or eliminated. Like eating out, renting movies, buying junk food at the grocery store, impulse spending on items over X amount (for hubby and I, it's a $50 limit), etc... Spending smarter can cut down the money going out, leaving more for savings and getting ahead, like paying more than the minimum on credit card monthly bills.
2006-10-24 02:41:02 · answer #2 · answered by welches_grape_jelly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, yer not being inconsiderate for wanting to wait.. 35-40 hrs a week is enough when you then come home and do everything else.. You also said you run errands FOR HIM??? Um, sounds to me like he expects you to be wonderwoman while he works making 15$ a hour and when he comes home from his job he gets to do what??? If you barely have time to breathe now you'll have even less. Besides you is 'moving up the ladder'' which me assumes means yer gonna get a raise?? If that isnt good enough for him then nothing will be. Good luck
2006-10-24 02:29:58 · answer #3 · answered by newfieswoman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does your husband mean by "getting ahead?" Buying bigger and better stuff or being able to save and invest money and payoff debt?
I think you need to sit down with him so you both can discuss the following:
1. Define "getting ahead" to make sure it's the same for both of you, if it isn't, then you come up with a definition that you can both agree upon and develop a plan.
2. Does your husband know how much it takes to financially run your household? My husband doesn't, and he makes a lot of uninformed assumptions and purchases. I have to rein him in and go back to the drawing board regularly. Sometimes men don't see the bigger picture.
3. You should ask him to share in the responsibility of running the
household and taking care of your girls. Make a list of the things you do, and in what areas you would need help. Ask him where he thinks you both can save time and money.
4. Ask him what kind of life you would have if you worked those kind of hours. Does he work those kind of hours? If not, is he willilng to? If so, is he really willing to sacrifice his health and relationships just to "get ahead"?
I think the two of you should sit down and talk about your individual and respective goals and priorities. It doesn't sound like you have or have a plan in place to move ahead. Maybe you both need to consider the above questions for a week, each come up with what you think are possible solutions, then come back and discuss possible solutions and plans.
Good luck!
2006-10-24 02:36:36 · answer #4 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your kids will be with you forever, husbands come and go. You should do what is best for your kids and you. I have been a homemaker for 4 years and I work part time. I have a chance for a full time job and I am not sure. My husband tells me I should do what I want and we both will figure the daycare out together. We have 5 kids and he supports us. He had 2 jos when we were pregnant with or kids. Now he works 1 job and me part time for now. Good luck.
2006-10-24 07:06:22 · answer #5 · answered by Sassy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you can't have your kids raising themselves. You are doing the best you can now and you are getting your children ahead inlife being there for them. They grow up too fast these days to miss out on anything.
Anyway if you start working that much now you will be ran down before your time.
Good luck
2006-10-24 02:26:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not inconsiderate. Tell him if he wants the extra money to get another job or a part-time job. Or if he really insists on you making more money....work it out that he takes over your home duties.
2006-10-24 02:32:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1)You try the job for a couple of weeks, and see how your husband and kids react with it.
2)You tell your husband: "Why don't you find a better job, because you're the man of the house, not me", you don't even have to have a job.
(I'd go with the stubborn second choice if I were you)
2006-10-24 02:45:23 · answer #8 · answered by Muslim Patriot 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is a partner in your firm and not your boss. Sit down and calmly discuss the reasons you are NOT going to switch jobs. If you have a job you love and see growth potential then I say stick with it. But if money is the biggest priority right now then do listen to his side.....all right...listen to his side anyway.
2006-10-24 02:26:40 · answer #9 · answered by lilygateau 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stand your grounds lady. 60 or 70 hours a week will kill you mentally. Your husband is wrong. Let him know it.
2006-10-24 02:25:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋