I have been knowing this guy for a few months. I met him at work and we would have lunch and stuff together everyday and text and call back and forth. Well he got laid-off and I broke up with my boyfriend the same day, so we had sex that night. He has gotten a new job since then guys... A good one... Anyway, we talk or text often, both initiating the calls and he sometimes says things that make me feel like he's feeling me out. We have had sex quite a few times since then, but he's also spent the night and not had sex with me on several occasions. He sometimes says things that makes me think that he is interested in a relationship, but I don't know. I am new to this whole single thing and I don't want to just come out and ask him too soon and push him away. How could I tell him that I don't want to just have sex with him without making it seem like I am giving him an altimatum? Does he really like me?
2006-10-24 02:06:20 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
By him not having sex with you, when he stayed overnight, should mean something to you...
He "is" looking for a serious relationship, and you shouldnt pressure him. Just be with him and see what he does and how he acts. Two months dating is not enough time to get your acts together, when you are coming off a relationship, and he is just "feeling you out".
Given time, he maybe the one...
Let him take the time, and take it slow. Rushing is whats going to kill this one, or trying to pin him down.
Like my Wife gave me, she gave me a year to make up my mind whether I wanted to get married or not, then she was going to move on. It only took me a few months, but then I "knew" she was the one for me already.
I wish you well..
Jesse
2006-10-24 02:18:27 · answer #1 · answered by x 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He seems to show an interest in you that goes beyond just sex.
"we talk or text often"
" he's also spent the night and not had sex with me on several occasions."
"He sometimes says things that makes me think that he is interested in a relationship"
I wouldn't ask him if its 'sex or a relationship'. Its not an either or thing. Hopefully he wants both, the same as you do.
I also urge you not to 'test' him by cutting him off. Presumeably my relationship with my wife goes beyond me chatting with her, but if I completely stopped talking to her to test her love for me, after a few months the results might become unpleasant.
I haven't been single in a while, but I think the better approach might be to ask if he's seeing other people. If he asks you (trying to feel you out) you could say that you aren't, and that you don't want to. I think that's the natural smallest step for you to - confirming that you are, in fact, an exclusive couple. You don't need to forge a capital R relationship. You just want to be - at this point - boyfriend/girlfriend.
2006-10-24 02:19:50 · answer #2 · answered by kheserthorpe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you initiating the first move when it comes to having sex? It sounds like he wants more then sex because you mentioned that you have gotten together and had not had sex on several occasions. I'm not quite sure if you should bring it up. They say actions speak louder then words. Don't read more into this then what it is. Maybe you should make plans to meet out and drive seperate cars so it won't lead to sex all the time.
2006-10-24 02:13:20 · answer #3 · answered by tonaloha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him. It will either be the start of a relationship or the end of a booty call...which is what you are now. He is getting all of the benefits and none of the responsibilities of a relationship and you have known each other long enough for him to make a descision by now. I predict he will move on but you know that too. If he had wanted a relationship he would have said so by now. Just be honest with him and tell him. Good luck.
2006-10-24 02:11:52 · answer #4 · answered by dragonrider707 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talking to him is the best way to go. Because if you go with the flow, you might get your feelings hurt in between, and I don't think he would care. But if you talk to him honestly, then you will know what he's intentions are. The sex is good. If it wasn't you wouldn't still be with him!!!! But sex is not what the problem is here. The problem is that you feel something is missing. I advise you to talk to him. Trust me you will never regret it.
2006-10-24 02:15:23 · answer #5 · answered by meamy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you broke up with your boyfriend and the same day u had sex with this guy....? that right away tells us guys it would be very hard to trust a woman like that...i think he likes u but at the same time hes scared u might hurt him...i think hes just enjoying the sex but then again only u would know....just ask him
2006-10-24 02:26:46 · answer #6 · answered by geodesy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl you were single before your old BF
You gave it up on the first night you were with him. He might like you or he might be using you for sex it will be very hard to KNOW now.
How does he treat you? Do you go out or just stay in all the time?
2006-10-24 02:11:57 · answer #7 · answered by danzka2001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it sounds good to me... If he only wanted sex that would be the only time he would come around you when he wanted sex... An if he's stayed an not have sex then it sounds like you two are gonna do good! Best of luck!!!
2006-10-24 02:11:22 · answer #8 · answered by ohio_gurl042 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He just wants sex. He says things to make you think he is interested in a relationship because that's what men do to get in your pants.
2006-10-24 02:10:30 · answer #9 · answered by spelling nazi 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is it clear to you what you want out of life? It should be before you can ask him anything. Don't let others guess what your deep needs are and fulfill them. Good luck.
2006-10-24 02:13:25 · answer #10 · answered by apicole 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋