I've been in a relationship for 9 years.Everything is good.The only problem is, well the biggest problem is THE CIGARETTES. I hate them. For one the smell gets into your clothes,sheets,curtains,hair.Everything.Then theres the health risks.I mean 9 years of second hand smoke is killing me.And the kids.I can't take it anymore.I won't out just because of them.
So my question is.Would it be wrong to end a relationship, because the person won't stop smoking cigarettes? It's not even like she compromises with me and smoke in one room,she just walks all over the house smoking a pack a day.Thats all I smell, even when were outside Ican't get a breath of fresh air.
2006-10-24 01:14:57 · 9 answers · asked by nyctreasurehunter 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It would be stupid to end the relationship because of that.
First, you have to get your own mind absolutely straight about the effects of second hand smoke.
They are negligable.
The medical industry has produced mind-control propoganda in order to hide the fact that vaccinations cause cancer.
Once you understand that second hand smoke is NOT a problem, them maybe you can have a more rational discussion.
I agree with you that the smells are awful.
And I agree that it's unfair of her to impose her habit on others.
I would tell her that you cannot stand it any longer, and that if she is not prepared to even try to make any compromises, then you will be making plans to leave.
However, I still feel that you are being a little intolerant. Stopping smoking is a VERY difficult thing.
You could perhaps obtain pictures of lungs covered in tar, and overflowing ashtrays, and stick them on the walls in the rooms that she smokes until she understands how much it is affecting you.
You must discuss this with her in a quiet rational way, and tell her that you have developed this serious mental problem about smoking, and need her help.
2006-10-25 19:26:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why cant she just smoke in one room if thats what you ask her to do?? Shes being very selfish,,she should at least keep it to one room for the sake of you and the kids. Im a smoker,,but if my man asked me to go outside or something like that..of course i would. Its not a hard thing to do when you are putting other people at risk. Leaving her for this reason,,i cant say,,that its totally up to you...have you tired to take her to get help for the smoking?? Its an addiction and extremly hard to quit. Good luck do what you feel is right for you and the kids.
2006-10-24 08:23:59 · answer #2 · answered by michelle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
looks like your spouse is a rather inconsiderate person. smoking all over the hse and having kids around...how did u put that up for 9 years!
tell her this time u're quitting the hse with the kids if she dun do something abt her smoking habit. well, i mean to move out of the hse - not to end the relationship. get her counselled for the addiction. unless she dont give a damn about you giving her this last chance, then i dun see why you shud stay on and tolerate this behaviour.
2006-10-24 08:34:59 · answer #3 · answered by margh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who smokes inside anymore anyway?!!!
Come on, I have been smoking for so long, have 3 kids and a "smoke-free" husband, I always smoke outside....
No, tell her to start doing it outside, of course the smoke gets into everything, disgusting, not even I as a smoker could take that..!
2006-10-24 08:28:34 · answer #4 · answered by SWE-girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, tell her when she smokes, she should go outside and smoke, instead of smoking in the house, making everyone sick from second hand smoke. If she wants to continue smoking that's what you have to tell her, she should have some courtesy to do that for the family.
2006-10-24 08:21:27 · answer #5 · answered by superboredom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her that your smoking habit is driving you nuts and that you are seriously considering walking out of the marriage. This may make her take you seriously specially if she wants her family
2006-10-24 08:24:54 · answer #6 · answered by R C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep it simple, short and sharp.
She need the cigarette more badly then she needs you.
This type of person has "Total Disregard For Others" type of mentality which deserve dissertion by others.
If you want out, just do it. period.
2006-10-24 10:03:30 · answer #7 · answered by Always Can 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he was smoking when you met what made you think he would change, Tell him to quit or you are leaving.
2006-10-24 08:17:16 · answer #8 · answered by Eyes of Green 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sho w him pictures of effeects of smoking
2006-10-24 08:32:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋