OK, I am 24yr old female, and I have known for years that I am gay, but up to now have been trying to deny it. My problem is that I met this girl at work recently and i really like her and would like to ask her out. I am not sure whether she is gay or not, and am not likely to see her again for a few months.
I have her email address, and have been agonising over whether or not to email her. My issue is that if she says no, then when she returns to work there may be a strange situation.
So my question to you is: Do I risk it and email her.
2006-10-24 00:47:03 · 32 answers · asked by e 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Wow that's some pickle you are in!
Ironically I'm in a similiar situation. Are you friends? If so, be friends with her and take it from there. If you are comfortable with coming out, then you should do that. I guess the question you have to ask yourself is that if she is important enough to be in your life as a friend or to be in your life as a girlfriend.
Typically, I would say follow your heart, but I know what you are going through and that it is very, very confusing right now. Give it time and don't do anything rash. Wow, I really wish I could give you a clear cut answer here, but like I said I am in a very similar situation.
I have chosen to be his friend and keep quiet about everything. I have been getting over him and trying to find someone else as well as helping him find someone. I would rather be a part of his life than not be and if that means just being friends then that's what it means. Sorry i couldn't be more of help, but this one is a toughy and I am too emotionally involved with it to look at analytically.
2006-10-24 01:12:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hmmmmm! Very difficult! I take it she doesn't look gay (ie chunky with short hair and manly clothes)!
I would say that you should go for a friendly drink with her (and perhaps some others) and see if you can work out her sexuality, perhaps get drunk and accidently go in for a kiss. This is great as you can all ways blame the drink the next day!
You could ask her by e-mail, and then if she goes a bit funny, just tell her it was the IT dept playing a joke and you didn't even know any thing about it!
Either that or just come out at the office and make it obvious to her that you are gay, if she is gay too then she will probably let you know.
You could even become close friends of hers, and then confide in her about it. After that, when you remain close, things might just fall into place!
Ok, so I haven't given you a definitive answer, but hopefully something to think about! Good luck! Have fun!
2006-10-24 00:55:43 · answer #2 · answered by Dunk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should face the fear and just do it and email her!
Life's too short for 'what ifs?' and 'whys?'.
What can there harm be? If she's not gay, she'll be flattered that you fancy her (what girl isn't!) and if she is, then brilliant! If she isn't gay I don't believe that when she returns to work they'll be a strange situation because I believe girlie's now a days take things in their stride with things like that. If you don't email her, you will regret it for a long time, not forever, but you'll always be wondering and guessing in the back of your mind whether you had a chance with her, and you will kick yourself because of it!
I wish you the best of luck!!
2006-10-24 01:33:28 · answer #3 · answered by Top Cat! 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't risk it. Email her as a friend and ask some leading questions in the email such as does she go out, where does she go and WHO does she go with. If she's got a boyfriend or partner she will tell you in her reply.
If you email her and ask her out. She may think it's for a social friendly drink and not as a future partner for you. This could lead to a very awkward moment and an even more awkward work atmosphere.
2006-10-24 01:03:36 · answer #4 · answered by Tabbyfur aka patchy puss 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do yourself a favor, especially if you want to move up in the business world. Leave this alone, I am telling you it is not even worth it, especially if she is not gay, she can get you for sexual harrassment. This whole thing especially in the work place is a time bomb waiting to explode. All these people telling you to e-mail her are setting you up for possible termination. E-mails on company property are considered for business only. If this individual really is offended by your behavior she can use any email with any reference and have you terminated. I am telling you I know how things work in the business world. If you want to play it safe, leave it alone, this situation you are about to engage in a situation that is like a time bomb waiting to explode. And guess what it will blow up on you, and then you will be unemployed. For future advice leave any personal type dealings at home, and do not bring them to work. People are so conscious today about the least little thing, it will get you fired, especially your type of behavior. Most companies will not tolerate your behavior. Like it or not this is a fact.
2006-10-24 00:58:21 · answer #5 · answered by Rooster 1972 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm assuming alot of things in saying this. But I'd at least email her and find out if she is interested to do something with you; go out for a drink, etc I dunno what ever it is that you do.
A wise man once said " Oppurtunity knocks only once " or something like that.
If you see something in life you want...go after it, coz it probably wont come to you....unless of course you are in a dark tunnel and that bright light you like and want happens to be attached to an oncoming train.
The occurance of a strange situation will be entirely up to how you approach the situation. Get to know her a bit...then drop the hard words on her LOL, less likely to be an embarrasing event that way.
Well thats my bit of advice from the other gender and preference's point of view. Hope it helps in some way.
2006-10-24 00:57:36 · answer #6 · answered by mickattafe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Really and truly, you need to find out what her current situation is. Try to work it in an email......maybe ask, what are your plans for the weekend, do you have any hot dates with "rich attractive men" planned, and see if she responds. I would imagine it would cause a problem when she came back, as far as you two not being able to get over the tension from an awkward situation.
2006-10-24 00:52:06 · answer #7 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not try to find out her opinion on gay relationships when in conversation, at least you would know her view on the matter. If she thinks its wrong then you know to say nothing, I wouldn't put to much trust in some one you have just met and have to work with, as it could make things very complicated. I do wish you the best of luck in what ever you decide to do.
2006-10-24 01:05:39 · answer #8 · answered by scotlandsno1yummymummy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Couldn't you e-mail her a few times as a friend and see if there is anything between you just in the way of friendship? maybe as you become friends she will confide in you whether she is gay, if she doesn't I would say that she is probably straight, in which case you will be wasting your time. My sister is 35 years old and gay, she is in a happy relationship, most of their friends are gay women and men, mostly great people, they all seem to know each other without it having to be said. - whatever happens - Good Luck to you.
2006-10-24 00:54:51 · answer #9 · answered by ffiondove 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go on, email her. Otherwise your gonna be agonising about these feelings like 'what if's' etc for ever! If she say's no just email back and say that you'd like there to be no hard feelings and no akwardness when she returns to the office! I really do wish she feels the same way!
Goodluck hun xxx
2006-10-24 00:52:07 · answer #10 · answered by ♥ Jodi ♥ Kaydi's Mummy ♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋