My boyfriend and i have been together 3 years, he is 23 and i am 20. We both want a child but at the moment we cannot afford to have one. We have decided to put it off until we both have our own house and enough funds for a child.
we both have friends who have children, neither parents work and they live in a tiny council house, they keep telling us "just to go for it" but i want more for my child.
are we doing the right thing?
2006-10-24 00:33:50 · 19 answers · asked by magical_angel2003 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I'm also 20 and would love a baby as my partner is 28 and we didn't want to leave it too long but to be honnest we can hardly afford to live ourselves .... and would have no chance of not getting in debt with a baby! so we just have to wait!
YOUR DOING THE RIGHT THING
you still both young! have a year or 2 or 3 of enjoying yourselves with no tie downs and saving up some money and then go for it!
2006-10-24 00:43:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Okay, first you said you can't afford it.. Hint one. You both are not married, hint two. Okay. Now when you have a baby it takes up a lot. Like time, money, emotions, and may cause fights with you and your bf. who you never know will stay with you till the end. Same with a marriage, but at least you will be married. A baby is a very big deal. I remember being just where you are, and wanting a baby, and then I spent days with my friend who had a baby, and I got all freaked out. Maybe you think you are different, but take that baby for a weekend. See how it goes. Im not talking a 3 or 4 yo kid. Im talking a baby who still wakes up in the middle of the night to be fed.. I do not think you are wanting the right thing, and most people will say to get a puppy. That is completely different. Puppies dont wake up in the middle of the night, and dont need to be fed every 2/3 hrs. Babies are hard work, and that baby will not get what he or she needs, if you can't afford this child. It cost a lot more than you think.. You can't work 5 jobs and still have time to see your baby everyday. And I sure as heck do not want to support you on welfare. (no offense) So, I think you should just enjoy the time with other friends kids, and wait till you both are ready! Please just wait and have a good young life!
2006-10-24 07:47:27 · answer #2 · answered by sshhmmee2000 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well plan for the babies best possible future! Give it some time your both still quite young. Focus on getting a house and making sure you both have reliable if not new or nearly new cars, make sure that you both have your lives planned out. Make sure you save back money for emergencies, they do happen. Take a vacation, have some unrestricted fun. I am the father of 3 lovely children and wouldn't trade them for the world. If i could have had them at a later time in life i would have. Not just for myself but do a little more planning and saving for them. You can always babysit your friends kid(s). Being a parent is a 24/7 job there are no clock in/out times, no holidays, no vacation days, no breaks. The one thing about raising a child is the benefit that you get when you see them smile at you day in and day out. Knowing you have done everything in your power to give them every bit of your love and every single opportunity and chance to succed is the true mesurment of how great of a parent you really are! There are no do-overs. You are doing the right thing by waiting! Trust your intuition it will never mislead you.
2006-10-24 07:48:54 · answer #3 · answered by jls1znv9999 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are both on the right track. You are thinking of the future bundle of joy rather than yourselves.
When you have a child you must both be mature enough
to raise that child. You can never have enough money to raise a child. Having your own home may take too long.
If a house is filled with love and a strong commitment
then you are ready for that child. One of you should
work, if not for the health benefits alone. You'll need
that when you become pregnant. Start saving for you
home and when it looks like the house is close to being
affordable then start trying for that baby. Meanwhile,
make the first commitment and get married. If you can do that then you'll be ready for that baby. Luck to you.
2006-10-24 07:47:59 · answer #4 · answered by Precious Gem 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are totally doing the right thing. Having a baby is nothing to rush into. You sound like you are a very smart couple with a great future. Hold off until you have the foundation in place prior to having a child (ie. house and baby fund).
2006-10-24 08:09:40 · answer #5 · answered by !?!?! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is verry good that you whant the best for your child,but you will never have everythink you need for you and youre child it will be always somenthink new that you need.it is good if you and youre boyfriend work and get money from the bank to buy a house,that way you wont pay a rent to somebody you will pay a rent for youre house.the important think is that didint you think that maybe you are too young to be a mother?a baby is not a toy is verry dificult whit a baby,is beautiful but hard.youre life will change:you can go out anymore,youre person doesent exist anymore,you live only for the baby.are lots of sacrifacies.
2006-10-24 07:50:14 · answer #6 · answered by zucker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong with wanting the absolute best for your child. Having a baby is expensive, no matter what your financial situation. You're pretty young, but you're showing an emotional maturity by wanting to hold off until it's a better time for both of you financially. I'm proud of you.
2006-10-24 07:44:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You certainly are doing the right thing. What you explained above is me i do live in a housing house but i didnt always i am only 22 and i want more for my daughter 21 months she deserves so much more to be where we are today. Thats y i am trying my hardest i never had to struggle as a child cause my parents owned our house and both had good jobs and i dont want my daughter to have to struggle i want her to have everything i had. Dont get me wrong my daughter is spoilt with other things but id love to raise her in a house thats her own.
2006-10-24 07:39:06 · answer #8 · answered by cheekykim17 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
God Bless you! My husband and I are in the exact same situation. We would get pregnant today if we could! We are so looking forward to being parents. But, we are still in school and not making a lot of money. We just get by ourselves. So we've told ourselves to wait. It is so hard to do that. Much easier said than done. So I understand exactly what you're going through. I hope all goes well for you.
2006-10-24 11:18:30 · answer #9 · answered by angels_sign_ily 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait, wait, wait...
You are very smart. It will be so much easier to have all your finances in order before you have a baby. Also, you are young. I know you probably hate hearing that, but it is true. You need to experience being 21 without worrying about a baby (ie. making sure you have a baby-sitter, enough money to pay the baby-sitter with, getting home on time.) Sometimes it is okay to be selfish for a little bit. Once you have a baby you will be dedicated to them. Smart girl.
2006-10-24 07:46:39 · answer #10 · answered by glamorousgrrl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋