This just happened to me few minutes ago. The lady is religious, so she and her husband do not work (but do praying), neither search any work. They have 12 children, and the whole family lives on social support. Now what's the problem? She came on my door, telling me how poor they are, they have 12 kids and they are hungry, and she asked for some money. My neighbour who understands this native language, told her to get away and she left. I was latter by translation told what she wanted. I feel puzzled now. There are at least two sides. 1 - Children are Your responsibility, so have them as many you can afford and no more (that is why I at 28 do not yet have them), otherwise - adoption, 2 - Children are not guilty, but hungry and do not understand. So what to do? How to decide? Next time to give her money and she will come for more (I am student with scholarship in foreign country) or be rude as my neighbour and tell her to get away (don't feel like to do so)?
2006-10-24 00:32:14 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
If she understands, give her a little bit of money, or some food that she could have to take to them. But do your best to explain that this is all that she can have, because you can't afford to give it to them all the time. Chances are, she will appreciate what you've done for them. There is no harm in helping out another human being if they refuse to help themselves, no matter how frustrating that may be.
When you put it into perspective, it is unlikely that she'd get a job even if she WAS looking for one, simply because of the fact that people like that are prejudiced against and are less likely to get a position.
There is no reason to be rude to anyone when they ask for money or food. It's a shameful experience enough to know that you can't look after your own children and feed them, so asking strangers for the money must be downright embarrassing and hurtful. What is worse is the way they are treated because of it.
So show a little kindness. A few dollars less for you might be a few more days that those people get to live because they were able to afford a little more food for themselves.
2006-10-24 00:45:32 · answer #1 · answered by Mr. Maul 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand the dilema. You don't want to let the kids go without but it is hardly your responsibility even if you could afford which you can't. Ans you are right, once you help someone they don't hesitate to come to you for help again. If this is something that is really bothering you , you wanting to help but not feeling you should, then i would suggest doing a little homework on the PC one day looking for churches or other organizations that help donate food and other needs to families such as this. Then when she does come to you for money, give her a peice of paper with the number for the orginization on it explaing that they will help her. These orginizations limit what they give based on what the family needs, so if the family is just being wasteful they won't bother after the first time. They certainly won't be getting donuts and chocolate milk but they will get powdered milk and bread. And you will feeel a bit better about the fact that you were still able to offer help.
2006-10-24 13:12:40 · answer #2 · answered by pinkyduh1377 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I live in Georgia- pretty small town and there is a couple that "work" the parking lot by a major chain grocery store. They are always carrying gas cans and wanting money never gas, or they think I am going to let them in my car and drive them somewhere. I may have reacted differently to kids; especially if they are asking for food and not cash I sure hope this couple that hang around don't start using kids to beg. I know that sounds really mean but the time these folks spend begging they could be trying to help themselves. Welfare helps people with housing food and finding a JOB
2016-03-28 05:57:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This answer for you depends on if you are a christian or not. I have never questioned anyone who was asking for a handout. The only question I asked was do I have enough money. I give to those in need. I am very lucky to be able to pay my bills and have some money in my pocket for gas. However, I do know that GOD forbid, that ever happen to you. You shouldn't question why this women has what she has or lack there of. You should give if you can and if not, politely inform her that you have no money and will pray for her and her family. Your neighbor was rude. If she didn't want to give money, she could have given food. There is no reason to turn anyone away if you have something and they are without. GOD bless her and her family.
2006-10-24 02:04:04 · answer #4 · answered by cookie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take her family some food. No money. Maybe get the neighbor hood to donate some things from the pantry's. Along with that take her the classifieds and tell her she and her husband need to find work to support their children. Let her know that you don't mind helping the hungry but being lazy when you have children to feed is not an option. That will make you feel like you have done your part in helping. If they don't find work then it is not your responsibility to feed their kids. Let her also know God helps those who help themselves.
2006-10-24 04:50:10 · answer #5 · answered by purrfectsandcastle 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure what country you're in. Do they have shelters or food pantries? Are the couple with 12 kids homeless? Just because someone is religious doesn't mean they shouldn't be finding a way to provide for their kids. In the States, at least in some parts of the country, authorities would intervene because this lack of care for the children's basic needs (food) would be seen as a form of child abuse.
You are not going to be able to support this family. But you don't need to be cold-hearted about it either. Find out what social services exist and direct them there.
2006-10-24 00:46:50 · answer #6 · answered by FL LMT 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Nope. I think SHE was rude to come to your door, telling you a sob story and asking for money. Being religious is not an excuse for bringing 12 children into the world (if that's even true), living off state benefits and not doing an honest day's work. Why should you have to give her any of your money?
2006-10-24 00:47:12 · answer #7 · answered by Jackie J 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No it is not rude to say no. No one forced them to have so many children. If they live in United Kingdom they will have plenty of money as state benefits are good for people with children.
I think you should tell them to get a job. Even priests and all other heads of religions work for their money.
I think the people asking you and other neighbours for money should be ashamed of themselves as it is their choice of lifestyle not yours.. You are not rude if you refuse these people money.
2006-10-24 00:41:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
no its not rude to tell them to go away,if they want kids they should make sure they can support them before having them, instead of praying no matter how religious they are they should get jobs,people that are religious can work,they are just using religion as a excuse for being down right lazy,id shut door on them,have you ever saw anything in the bible about dont work let us beg instead
2006-10-24 04:25:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If someone tells you they are hungry and asks for money.
Tell them,"If you are hungry, I'll buy you something to eat."
Never give them money, they may use it for alcohol of drugs or just keep it. Some panhandlers make a living by begging.
But, never turn a hungry person away.
2006-10-24 00:56:02 · answer #10 · answered by Cal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋