What can I do with my bad memories of my father?

Question

I had a very sad childhood,with my father always yelling at me and beating me,for nothing!
Now that I'm 24 I cant forget those bad memories and it makes me very depressed when I remember them.What can I do?

Answer 1

hmmm, sad, r u still in touch with ur father, how does he treat u now, i knew a frnd of mine whos father used to yell at her and sometimes insult her in front of guest, but now wen she is married, she has an ecxcellent relationship with her father, somtimes parents take u for granted, they think they can not only beat u for ur own good, but also to remove their frustration of their work as well as the freedom that they have lost cuz u there, i m sure he loved u, try recollecting things which he did for u, may b few, but they wil b enough,

if this doesnt help, look towards things which u have and not wat u dont have, make a fabulous relationship with ur kid so that he never ever feels the same, look at the pple who loved u and love them the same, take care

Answer 2

How sad. This sounds like my husbands childhood...and many years later, he still cannot forget it. It has stayed with him all thru the years, even after his father died. This seems pretty common...Finally, after a long time of being extremely upset over it, and many conversations about it, he has dropped the baggage and moved on. He feels better and altho it's still a memory, he doesn't dwell on it anymore, We'd have conversations about how someday, in the future, God will allow him to tell his father exactly how it hurt him and his father will then know the pain he caused; that's the only security and justice he can deal with for now. I'd advise you to realize, as I've told my husband, that some dad's are sick, and you didn't cause it, and the best thing for your self confidence and your sanity, is to put it behind you, move forward, and realize that someday God will deal with the sick person who caused all this pain.
Blessings on you!

Answer 3

You must find a way to forgive your father, so you can heal yourself! Try to understand the phychology behind why he did the things he did. Meaning, was he abused as a child, was he alcoholic, was he mentally ill? If you can seperate the deeds from the doer, you can find it in your heart to forgive. That's the only way you will be able to let go of these bad memories. And remember, what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger! Just concentrate on being a better person than your father was, and don't continue the cycle. Good luck to you!

Answer 4

I had a messed up childhood too, although it was my mom who did all the beating and yelling. The only way I could get over it to move on with my life is I got counseling, and learned to love her like she is, but not let her control me or my feelings any longer. Plus when you get to that point the rush and freedom you feel is awesome, knowing that you are strong enough to never let them hurt you again. Plus they have medicine for the depression. Call your local Mental health they go by your income. It is well worth it in the end

Answer 5

You need to put this behind you and quit thinking about it and go on with your life. He is still controlling you if you don't. Do not live in the past but make a good life for yourself and look to your future. You need to forgive him for his actions. Forgiving is easy but forgetting takes a while. You can do it. None of it was your fault and you can't let this ruin your life. The past is the past, forget it! I know you can do this because I had the same thing and I have overcome it and it no longer bothers me. Good luck to you and I wish you all the best in the future.

Answer 6

My father never wanted me and my sister. I remember growing up he lived in the town I did and I would catch a ride from one aunts house to another in my teens. He would come by and pick me up and speak as little as possible ask me if I needed anything and would stop and buy a soda for me a few times. I grow up with alot of hate as I got older I took it out on my sisters, something that I regret to this day. One day my older and much wiser brother told me something that stuck with me forever and i'll remember it to the day I die. Once someone does something to you that you can't forget or forgive everyday you think of it and let it bother you, They have won again like they have in your past if you keep thinking about it they keep winning the best way to deal with it is to through it away you can't go back and change it so through it away and stop them from winning

Answer 7

Go for a healing prayer service - read the Bible and learn to forgive him and move on.
The Bible (esp the new Testament) is very encouraging.
Read John 14:27
Take care. All the best.
You are a child of God, and you deserve the very best.
Don't forget that!

Answer 8

notwithstanding you do, do no longer shop the dislike interior..it is going to basically turn itself returned on you. it quite is why an abusive cycle is so complicated to interrupt-the toddler grows up feeling victimized by way of abuse they suffered on the palms of a confirm, so as that they take their hatred out on the subsequent era. Or, if no longer, they take it out on themselves. the two way, it quite is a harmful thank you to stay..communicate with somebody, write on your magazine, do some thing to unharness the hatred formerly it destroys you. the only thank you to kill hate is with LOVE.

Answer 9

that sounds kinda like me but he doesn't do that to just me he does it to my mom and my brother and now I'm 11. i have been dealing with it ever since i was 6yrs.So what i would do is jut think of happy times or happy thought or whats going on today that makes you happy. don't focous on the past focouse on the present.