do you think it makes a difference if you marry young?

Question

as to whether a man cooks or not? I married young, my partner was still living at home with his parents, he has never cooked a meal in his life, if I'm too busy or back late, he'll go and get take away food. Do you think that a woman becomes a mother figure if her partner has never lived alone?
It's the same with housework, every now and then I'll have a moan and he'll push a hoover round, but I do it all.
It's what I have become used to so I doubt I'll change it, and not sure I'd like fried egg and bacon every time he would cook if that happened.
Are there any men out there that cooks well, and does the odd bit of housework, who have never lived by themselves ever?

Answer 1

Nothing wrong with marrying young I was 19, I say start as you mean to go on, my hubby pays all bills , works full time , I work part time doing my own cleaning business, so I have more time to do household chores , such as cooking , ironing etc , but as you say you are home late , he must be made to understand you are NOT his MUM , put your foot down , get him to understand he must cook so you can have some quality time , my husband can cook as he was taught by me as some times in your married life you will not be able to do everything , TEACH him now while your still young as if you leave it too long it WILL become habit !!!

Answer 2

I left home when I was 18 and I'm 43, I chose to learn how to cook, iron, clean, hoover as I wouldn't have anyone to rely on when sharing a house with my friends.
Now that I'm married I cook for my family and friends, I also hoover, wash the dishes etc. I have my 13 year old son doing hoovering and my daughters 16 & 18 helping with the chores as they ned to learn when they eventually leave home.
In your circumstances it seems like your partner may feel it's a womans job to do all those chores, and because you like a clean house, and would like a meal when you get home sometimes it isn't happening.
Why don't you teach him how to cook, make a meal together that way he won't feel guilty that you do EVERYTHING.....(depends if he feels guilty).
If he had no money to buy a takeaway, what would he do ???
So my answer is....it doesn't make a difference.
I hope one day you'll come home to a candle light dinner, made by your husband.

Answer 3

No, I don't think it makes a difference.

Me and my bf have moved in together, both of which have come straight from living with parents and he does everything around the house. I cook 1 or 2 meals a week if he's lucky and that's it. As for housework, I do the dishes most nights, but that's generally all I do. My partner does everything else and works longer hours than me.

Answer 4

OK, maybe he hasn't learnt how to help his mum while still at home, does not excuse him now. It's better late than never. Now is the time. You teach him. You make him help you. Forget about why he is the way he is, think about the way he can be. Of course men can cook, hoover, polish and iron as well. As long as you insist on it. And do it now otherwise you'll see it will get worse once you have a baby too. the balance in your relationship will be 75 percent of burdens to you and 25 percent to him. And by the way, every time he'll lift a finger, he'll expect your appreciation ! as if he did not need to do it but look, he did it!! Where is your gold stickers?

Answer 5

Actually I would say it has nothing to do with living on his own or not. It seems to me that living alone would just be more fast food for him. I think the real reason is that his mom made things too easy for him and probably waited on him. She cleaned and cooked and never taught him the value of it.

I cook very well. I clean very well. And while I am single...my house looks as if it had a maid...lol. I just like it to be nice. My mom taught me how... to cook and clean and gave me the responsibility of chores... When I got married... I was a fully trained husband...lol. My wife loved that we shared the chores and even told my mom...thank you. I'm sure that when I remarry...my new wife will appreciate it too...

That's where I would look if I were you...the source of his inabilites is MOM... but you can change all that with a little modernhubby 101 training...lol. Good Luck. And if you have any baby boys...make sure you teach them too.

Answer 6

He likes being taken care of. Unfortunately, he doesn't seem to realize that you haven't taken over his mother's role. My sister has a great husband. His theory is that as long as there is work to do both should be doing it. He thinks it's wrong for one person to be lazing about while the other is working. They take turns cooking and whoever cooks doesn't have to clean it up afterwards. He starts cleaning at one end of their home & she the other. He loves to get groceries, so he gets them. They each do what they do best but the point is that they are each doing it. He grew up in a traditional Italian home where his mother stayed home & raised the family. But since his was a very large family and all but one girl I imagine they all had to do their share of chores. I sure hope you don't have yourself a lazy husband. It would be only natural to feel resentment towards him. He needs to grow up & assume his share of household responsibilities.

Answer 7

yes, a man who has had to live by himself or who has had a modern mother that has made her son, do his fair share of housework definately has a different outlook to housework than one that has been pandered by women all his life. It's not impossible but it's very hard to make man like this see past this mentality as they have never had to do anything for themselves. They have grown up in this enviroment where the women do everything and it's obviously convienient to stay that way especially if you let them.

There are obviously men who, even after living with females, can fend for themselves but its only because these woman have stressed the fact that just because they are women, doesnt mean they have to be handcuffed to the stove all day.

you have to decide if you want that to be you

Answer 8

I was 24 when I married a 29 year man. We'd both lived away from home for several years so were quite capable of looking after ourselve. We share the chores and cooking depending on who has most time that day. My husband probably does more day to day as I work long hours but i take care of the bigger jobs on my day off each week. We enjoying cooking together, it makes meal time a bit more special and it gives us time to talk about our days without one of us vegging in front of the TV and the other working in room. My sister moved in with a man who'd never lived by himself and he was golden, probably because we all teased him about taking his washing home to mummy!!

Answer 9

Hi, my husband is great - he will cook and do the weekly shopping - the housework is something he will only do if I'm ill. He was living with his mum uptil getting married and used to go do the shopping with her and as we have been married for 26 years he has also learned to cook - guess I'm just lucky.

Answer 10

I am good at cooking and ironing not good at hovering.
But loads of women cant cook to save thier lives, I have a friend his girl friend cooks sasauges and they are still red in the middle. I have told her and refuse to eat them and have to fry them some more. But loads of people really cant cook .
I believe that in a relationship you share tasks around the house, depending on what you are best at. eg I am a very good cook so I will cook. my g/f is good at doing the laundry so she does the laundry etc that is how it should be the best man or woman for the job.