1 of my Friend is a poor chap, its a long story, but i'll cut short, Now, he had fallen in luv with a girl for 4 yrs, both wer sincere, one day the girl ditched him coz he had not qualified in studies as much as her, obviously He wnt thru those pains of losing her for a year, later he met a girl & became frnds, even though the second girl knew abt the past, she fell in luv with him, now he is also reciprocating, the problem now is that first GF is bak and wants to get married to him, this boy and second girl are very close, what should he do ? Pls help him out....
2006-10-23 22:38:10 · 16 answers · asked by Akash 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
if i were him i would have chosen the current partner. commitment is something we can't just go on changing partners. this ex-girlfriend lost her chance and betrayed ur friend.but this current girlfriend loves him and accepted him for what he is. what else does he wants? stick to the current girfriends forget the past.
2006-10-23 22:45:50 · answer #1 · answered by whatever 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
mohan,
your friend needs to ask himself few simple but very impotant questions.
DOES HE LOVE THE SECOND GIRL?this is first and most important question he needs to ask himself,andnot because she loves him,but because he appreciates respects the person she is and wants a future to there present relationship.
If the answer is yes, then needs to forget about the first girl and tell her they cannot have want they had in the past and offer her friendship if he wishes to.
BUT ,if the answer is no,then he needs ask himself whether he still loves the first girl and whether he is going to forgive her for ditcthing him earlier?
If he is still in love with the first girl, first and fore most he should talk to the second girl and tell her the truth and appologise for raising her expectaions from this relatonship even if they where unintentional,he needs to give her atleast that respect.
now, coming to the first girl ,if he forgives her he must do so whole heartedly and giveup any malice that would have been there. I THINK he should talk to her and they should take things slowly and give some time before they progress to the next stge of there relationship that would give time to settle in get know better the person they were away for a while better andadapt to changes in eachother that might haveoccured in the mean time.
2006-10-24 08:23:53 · answer #2 · answered by j c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he loves the second , then there is no point renewing the past and recalling those pains that he went through. The first girl ditched him when she should have been helping him out. That was the time that he needed her support the most, but she left him. Turn a new leaf and nurture the second relationship.
2006-10-23 23:35:37 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously the first girl is a shallow person and should not get the satisfaction of having him back. The second girl accepted him, even though she knew about his miserable experience with the first girl. My money would be on the second girl.
The first girl is obviously jealous of the second girl. Somehow she hasn't coped with the situation herself, and seeing that the guy is no longer available makes her want him back. This is veeery childish and you should tell him so. She blew her chances by acting ridiculous and if she really wanted him back, she should have acted earlier, or not at all.
Let him tell her to bugger off.
2006-10-23 22:43:44 · answer #4 · answered by Jaco K 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does he really need any help about that? The second girl loves him inspite of his past. He loves her too. So what's his problem? If he even contemplates marrying the first one who ditched him for being underqualified, I would think she was right in ditching him then. Not just underqualified but with the brains of an infant too.
2006-10-24 05:11:04 · answer #5 · answered by Modest 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's funny, I'm going through almost the exact same situation with my current girlfriend, and my ex-fiancee.
There's no set rules to situations like this. Your friend has a history with his ex, but do they have a future together? Do him and his current girlfriend have a future as well, or are they just dating?
Nobody who posts an answer to this question will have the right answer for you. This is all up to him to decide. He needs to reach deep down and do what he feels right. Tell him to follow his heart, and everything else will follow.
2006-10-23 22:44:58 · answer #6 · answered by sswoody00 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the first girl ditched him the first time, for whatever reason, there is always the chance she will do it again for the same reason, or others, its always easier the second time. He should stick with the girl hes with now who hasnt hurt him.
2006-10-23 22:43:23 · answer #7 · answered by dave 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I was him I would never go back to the first one b'cos she dejected me for my studies yeasterday....Life is so uncertain ...tommorrow if I fail in my career at some point of time and look up to her...Probably she will push me again...and that also at a moment when I would be wanting her the most.....!!
In Life when you are right...everybody is with you...but when U r wrong and U need somebody..those are the times for which God created Loved ones..."
2006-10-24 03:21:37 · answer #8 · answered by Vijay God Loves U 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not what he SHOULD do, it is more what he WANTS to do......Until he is married, he is just playing with hearts, but once he does he is playing with lives (including his)......
what i am suggesting here might be boring, but definitely works. Ask him to sit down and write out the positives and negatives of choosing one over the other and decide based on that, even if his choice seems obvious at present.
P.S.==> Are you working for R-Tec Navi-Mumbai??
2006-10-24 10:00:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stick with the second girl
2006-10-23 22:43:48 · answer #10 · answered by maggie_at0303 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋