Am I a terrible person . . . . ?

Question

I am really fed up with my neighbours. They are noisy at night, very untidy and have a dog they never walk but let it bark all the time. They have taken to hanging their washing over the railings at the front of their house which makes the place look like a gipsy camp. When I got home from work yesterday evening they had put their clothes over the rail which seperates the front of my house from the front of theirs. As the clothes were closer to my front door than theirs, it looked like they belonged to me. I wanted to nip this in the bud but they werent in at the time for me to talk to them so being fairly pissed off with them for a number of reasons I took a bunch of lillies and shook the pollen on the clothes that were on my side of the railings. My friend says that was a really evil thing to do but I was really mad. What would you have done in my situation?

Well, actually, I battered the hell out of the clothes with the lillies and left massive pollen stains on them . . . . .

I'm relieved so many of you would have reacted in a similar manner. I'd thought of rubbing grease on my side of the railings but when I saw the lillies in my livingroom the idea just came to me. They cant say anything as it could have happened by accident when I was going into my house. Any suggestions what to use if they do it again?

Answer 1

No you're not terrible..... they are.

I'm all for nice, decent folk getting back at all the horrible neighbours that make our lives miserable!

Answer 2

I don't think your a terrible person, but I also don't think that was the best way to handle the situation and I find it appalling that so many people would encourage that type of behavior.
I am not passing judgement upon you, we all can do things out of anger and the good thing is that you are reflecting back to see if you were in the right to do what you did.
Unfortunately not all people are raised the same way and with the same values, I feel sorry for them that they don't realize how trashy or ill they look with what they are doing, I would have sent over an anonymous note, or gone to speak with them personally.
You could even go to the dollar store and buy them a clothes line and some pins, wouldn't that be a nicer gesture and they would get the hint. How would you have wanted someone to deal with you had you been the person to do what they did? NOW THEY WILL PROBABLY HAVE TO WASH THE CLOTHES AGAIN AND HANG THEM OUTSIDE AGAIN, SO what did you really accomplish. Sounds like you are letting too many frustrations build up and are handling it the wrong way.
But no you are not a horrible person, just remember that you should do unto others as you would have them do unto you,Good Luck!

Answer 3

You're not a terrible person - I would have ripped all the clothes off the rails and dumped them in the middle of their front garden/yard, a bonus if the ground is dirty!

All the same, perhaps a very politely worded letter asking them to respect your space and not make it untidy would be the best first step. Put the date on it and take a copy of the letter and then if they start getting nasty or ignore you then you can always go to your local council or whatever the equivalent is where you are (if not in the UK) and show how you've tried being reasonable. They should then be able to help.

Also, see if any other neighbours are bothered by this, they quite often are. Our neighbours left their dog indoors all day and she barked and barked, eventually all the neighbours signed a letter to the council who went and had a word, doggie was taken for walks after that!

Answer 4

Hi

I really do sympathise with you and your frustration is totally understandable. You are certainly not a terrible person, just a good citizen wanting to lead a quiet life. However, your actions are not the answer to solving this long term. You do need to talk to your neighbours. Damaging your neighbours clothes etc. will only make things worse and could result in damage to your own property and even a full blown neighbours at war scenario. I am sure you do not want this. If talking to your neighbours does not work, consider contacting your local authority for advice. Do these people have neighbours the other side too? Consider talking to them. If they, too, are getting fed up with these people then you will have strength in numbers when making a complaint against them. In the meantime, do not feel too bad about the pollen - no it wasn't the right thing to do but it is done now so hope they don't figure out it was you and forget about it. Talk to them as soon as you can - be polite and approachable and hopefully you can put a stop to this before it gets out of hand. Best of Luck

Answer 5

Don't think it was evil.....i would have prolly done the same thing, so maybe i am evil too.....lol I think u may have bought on extra trouble for yourself tho cos unless u have lillies growing near where they put their washing, or the wind could have carried the pollen in that direction they will prolly guess what u have done and might do something worse. Not sure if u r american or english, but if u r english, contact local environment officer, RSPCA or a local animal rescue centre, tell them about the dog, they will investigate and may remove to be rehomed. The other problems u have with them, again report them to the environmental health officer, they will do sound levels etc. Keep a diary, list everything it may help u long term if it goes to court. Can't your other neighbours help u and back u up. U know what they say "United we stand"...... etc
Good luck.

Answer 6

I am sorry you have inconsiderate neighbors. Many times before we react, it is best to see if things are being done in innocence. Many people do not have the benefit of being raised properly. Someone's mother dies young and their dad do not teach them simple things as they are too busy with work or other activities.

It is best to ask people nicely so they know that their actions are causing harm to others. Patience and a few kind words do wonders. It is hard when you have the job to educate people who are crude because they were not raised properly.

I certainly do not think you are a terrible person from what you have written. May be you should ask the neighbors to not put their clothes on your side of the rail but be nice about it.

I think you did what you did out of shear frustration, as you seem to be too polite and nice to confront them. I would not confront them in a negative manner, but keep things positive and gentle.

I hope this makes sense.

Answer 7

Perhaps, maybe, you annoy them too? These things do work both ways. The best way to dissolve the situation is by talking to them. I live helping to look after a load of 18 year olds, and this is the kind of behaviour I see from them. Its strange, but it really works better if you talk to the people rather than do petty things. They might not realise that you get annoyed by their noise at night - or even hear it - unless you tell them. They might not realise you get annoyed at their dog barking - maybe you could offer to walk it for them. And they might genuinly believe that you won't mind them drying their clothes like that. They'll never know until you tell them. And doing petty acts of "revenge" might make them believe that you are a bit mad and petty - which in a way you are.

Talk to them. 99% of the time you'll find people are reasonable and honestly didn't realise you'd mind. For that other 1%, issue legal proceedings.

I've had to deal with situations where someone is making noise late at night, and one of the other people then purposely makes noise early in the morning - this just escalates until it is unbearable for everyone else involved. Then strangely, when I get them to sit down and talk about it, and agree on a few ground rules, they feel much happier - and generally end up being good friends.

Answer 8

Of course not! Anyone in your place would feel the same. Lily pollen is pretty harmless. They may not even realise what it is or what has caused it to be on their clothes. It actually is rather clever as it may deter them from doing it again since they do not know for sure unless you have other neighbours who split on you.

There are mediation services for this sort of things, so approach your council. There also is a noise abatement officer who can advise you. The police are reluctant to intervene in disputes of that kind.

In certain neighbourhoods it is an offence to hang washing at the front. Does the fence belong to you? If it does you are free to paint it with non-drying paint (anti burglar)on their side, though best not to do it on yours as it might stain your clothes when you brush against it. Technically you need their permission to walk on their side, but you need not tell them what kind of paint you 'll be using.

We have similar neighbours who are totally inconsiderate, have loud music belting out in the summer and frequent smelly barbecues. They throw large parties and leave outside lights on all night which are so strong they penetrate through our curtains.The friendly approach has worked a little but has not been entirely successful. We approached the husband who is easier to talk to rather than the wife who overreacts.

You cannot be the only people who are inconvenienced by them. Try a global approach and talk to your other neighbours first to see how they feel about all these irritants. If they also object, a polite note through the door signed by all may make your neighbours think a little about other people's feelings.
Bon courage and good luck!

Answer 9

No you are not a bad person, I understand how you feel as I once had the same problem. The only thing I would say is to try the softly softly approach first as these situations can turn into open war very easily and that can be pure hell. Why don't you give the woman the lillies and try to build a bridge.

Answer 10

use bleach if they do it again: blame it on acid rain!
You aren't a terrible person. they're quite simply taking the pi*s so its only fair that you show 'em. provifing they never know it was you it'll be fine: technically isn;t it criminal damage to do what you did?
anyway: next time it happens, maybe keep doing the lillies thing: they'll think the wind is blowing pollen into their clothes and then relocate where they hang their washing out. another suggestion is getting the council to ahve a word with them about the dangers and hygiene issues with regards to putting their clothes on railings: what is the point in cleaning clothes if you're going to try them on railings?!
another idea is simply take all the clothes off the railings and just drop them on the floor: blame it on a high wind which blew them off.. the last and final suggestion i have is this: re-paint your front door when they have their clothes hanging over close to it: if a little bit of paint should "accidently" splatter their stuff, its not your fault, 'cos you never put their clothes within splattering range! hope i've helped!

Answer 11

You poor thing - I know how stressful it can be to have awful neighbours! However, no matter how bad they are that behaviour was a little childish and brings you down to their level a little bit - although I completely understand why you did! It might have been better to fold and bag the clothes and put them by their door and when they ask about it calmly explain your point of view. You can report noise such as the dog to the council and see if anything happens via that route, it can be slow, but at least it is official. Try not to get into any kind of slanging match with them because as long as you behave well you will have the upper hand over them.

Good luck with it.