I am in a relationship and evrything seems to be going the one way and it aint my way. (If you get what i mean) It is really complicated, to cut a long story short. The guy wants it all his way and to do as he pleases and to talk to who he wants but i got to do what he says and with no arguments and not talk to anyone or he acts like a toddler in a mood. Any advice on what to do?
2006-10-23 22:28:14 · 22 answers · asked by Sara R 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Jess i think you have the best point ever. I am actually beginning to believe he doesnt love me atol and it is just a control thing. problem is if i dont have him i have nobody beacuse thats the way he has made it for me. i feel trapped and just dont know what to do atoll.
2006-10-23 22:36:22 · update #1
LEAVE HIM.
Relationships are about communicating and equality. If you sit him down and talk to him about it, and he still refuses to treat u as an equal, then leave him. There are plenty of us guys out there that know relationships are about give and take
2006-10-23 22:30:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to listen to your inner voice. It sounds like you are not happy with this one-sided situation and want confirmation. You need to find someone who will treat you with respect. Everyone is allowed to be moody now and then but, if he wants to control something he should start with himself. The best thing for you in the long run is to either have a long talk with him about these issues (if he is capable of seeing how he is treating you) or show him the door. Controlling people don't usually change so be careful in your choices. And whatever you do, don't get pregnant or you will have a very long road tied to this guy filled with insecurity and low self esteem for both you and a child.
2006-10-24 05:37:36 · answer #2 · answered by Subi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not a good relationship. In a good relationship, both people treat each other with respect and equality. A good relationship requires work and good intent on the part of both parties. If you find it is a one-sided selfish relationship, it is best you leave it. I would first try to discuss this issue. If you do not get positive feedback or response, things are not going to change no matter how much you wish it would. Good luck.
2006-10-24 06:33:04 · answer #3 · answered by lavender2dream4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you accept his behaviour now then you've set the standard for the rest of your relationship , force the issue now or regret not doing it in years to come , if confrontation leads to separation you have had a lucky escape .
PS I put up with it for 20 years until i found the courage to leave and start again , now i can't understand what was wrong with me but the 20 years have gone forever wasted by my own stupidity .
2006-10-24 05:37:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you see in this guy anyway? Is following his every whim worth simply being with him? You've got to ask yourself: "how does he get the idea that he can act like this?". It does sound like he has some serious growing up to do, and your not going to help him by caving in all the time. To avoid arguing - tell him your going out to do your own thing now and again and that if he wants to be with you it will be on your terms. Needy people have to be brought out of their personal space to learn that the world doesn't revolve around them. If he wont compramise I advise not wasting your time on him.
2006-10-24 05:36:03 · answer #5 · answered by quetzicoatyl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dump him he will never change he will become even more controlling my ex saturated like that in the end it got to were he would time me going round the shop if i wasn't back in time he would threw a temper tantrum and pick arguments all day IE like the house wasn't tidy enough etc so u have got a chance to escape run as fast as you can this guy clearly do sent love or respect you
Good luck
2006-10-24 06:28:55 · answer #6 · answered by veronica 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wats a relationship about? relating.giving ur 2 cents and him, giving his. it shdnt b a one way thing. if he doesnt like opinions, he shd get a dog or sth and stick with the hookers but ue a person and u have 2 be confident so u can shiine. dont let no man keep ur lamp under a bushel .u dont need this
2006-10-24 05:49:23 · answer #7 · answered by silkyluv17 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex was really like this. I put up with it for a while and then realised that I'd changed who I was to please him and that I didn't like who I'd become. I finished with him which was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do (it culminated in me being held hostage by him for 24hrs and him being sent to prison!!!!) but it was also the best thing I've done. Don't change yourself for anyone chick, if your bloke loves you then he will want you to have yourown mind. If he can't handle you thiking for yourself and doing what you want then he just wants someone he can control. Buy him a blow up doll, she'll do whatever he wants and then go out and celebrate being free of him!!!
2006-10-24 05:33:33 · answer #8 · answered by athenajm 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Bin him,then you can work at getting your self esteem back,making friends and moving on and away from this petulant child.One of the things a relationship is built on is EQUALITY,it is not equal for you here,and doesn't sound as though it ever will be-so for your peace of mind get out of this situation.
2006-10-24 06:44:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you can go one of two ways:
one - dump him.
two - start treating him like hes treating you - when he wants to go out throw a hissy fit - and then ignore him back. And start "disobeying" him and going out against his wishes!
no-one has the right to tell you what you can and cant do - you should never have left it got to this stage - but however - you need to make it stop here! good luck! xx
2006-10-24 05:32:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋