I need your opinion on this............?

Question

I started taking my 20 month old daughter to a parent and toddler group over a month ago.
Personally i hate going but i was doing it for my daughter thinking it would help with her social skills but i sit there watching the kids either playing on their own or grabbing toys from one another !!!
I always watch what my daughters doing so as i can correct her if i see her taking a toy from a child that it still playing with it !! But everytime someone makes a grab for her and pushes her over the other mothers just sit ther gabbing and drinking Tea ! My daughter seems to be quite timid and lets them take the toy and looks as if she doesn't know whats going on !!! This angers me as the other parents don't do anything about it !!!
I don't want to go back to the group now as i don't see what my daughter is getting out of this at all !!!
Am i being selfish if i keep her away from it and just leave the social thing till she goes to nursery ????
Am i a silly mum ????

I can't relax when i see some another kid push her and she doesn't understand enough to push them back and nobody else does anything about it (exept me)

Answer 1

No your not a silly mum
Some people say its better for the children to learn from they parents instead of going to toddler group.
At the end of the day your just making sure your daughter is happy and safe
My child never went to toddler groups and she is fine sharing at nursery

Answer 2

I understand how you feel, but you are not always going to be around when someone pushes your daughter, this is part of learning for her. I would want to push the kid who did it! However, I would wait until she starts nursery, spend the time with her and cherish it, as it will pass so quickly. A lot of the mothers at this group sound like they let their kids do their own thing and are obviously just there for the tea! You are not a silly mum either its very natural to feel how you do.

Answer 3

No your not a silly mum you are obviously aware of the situation and your daughters needs, a mother and toddler group is not compulsory so if your not comfortable there don’t take her she might pick up on how uncomfortable you are there. Try a different group or take her to another play group if you want her to mix, saying that some of the things on cbeebies are quite educational and can help her social skills too, don’t worry about it she’s still only young she will learn how to socialise at nursery when she’s older.

Answer 4

When I was a kid my mum took me to a playschool 2 days a week. I would sit alone in the corner and wait for her to come back. After a few months my mum discovered that I just sat and sadly waited for the hour to pass - I would not socialise with any of the other kids and although I was polite towards the women in charge I would not participate in their activities. When she found out I did not like it there she never took me again.
Anyway - I would not take my child to the group you have described! It just does not seem worthwhile. I would think that your daughter would do better to avoid such bullies until she is a little older and you should avoid those stupid women there! If my child was misbehaving like their naughty kids then I would give them a huge shouting at!
Don't take her back there and you both will be happier for it!

Answer 5

There is nothing wrong with kids taking toys from one another, it happens all the time, what is good though, is that your Daughter will end up being one of the popular children because she is Timid. In one of my classes we had a boy just the same, however the children used to argue who would sit next to him because he was so peaceful compared to the rest. Just explain to your daughter (as best as possible, that the children haven't learnt how to share yet.) Maybe you should also ask the people running this group if they have any teaching policies, regarding development skills. If they say it's a free play group, ask them how far does this stretch, is it OK to bully.

Answer 6

I would try to find a different group, one where the parents and the childern all interact together. When my daughter was that age, we went to a parent and child "corner of imagination" class, that had some music and movement, some banging on drums, some painting, jsut a good variety where the kids could interact with other kids, but the parents were actively engaged too.

Answer 7

Your not just being a silly mum, I have 2 little boys and they are both very loving and generous lillte boys, they would happily give you their last breath.

my oldest is 4 and kept coming home from school saying kids had spat and hit him, I do not condone violence but i was sick of this happening so i told my boy that if they did it again i wanted him to take whatever he had in his hand at the time and hit them back. I never thought he would do it but he suprised me and the next day i was called into the office and told that his behavour was unacceptable.

None of the teachers ever noticed what happened because my boy never complained about it, and they just tohught i was being over protective.

Now they know different, my son knows he cant go around beating people up and he would never dream of it, but there is no way in hell im ever going to let my child become a victim of bullying like i did.

Teach your princess from a young age that she is far too important and precious to let other kids take advantage of her.

Goodluck xx

Answer 8

i know exactly how you feel. That's the reason I don't take my son to things like that anymore. What I've done is met a few women with children the same age as my son. Every week we have a play date for a couple of hours. My son gets the interaction he needs and also learns that its not polite to take other toys. Try meeting people in your community. Start with people you know raise their children like you raise yours. Its important that you teach your child to be kind and that the child sees other children who are also taught kindness. Check with your church, or other community programs to find moms that have the same guidelines as you do. You're not being selfish wanting what is best for your child. Good luck you are doing the right thing not taking her back!

Answer 9

i am a mother of four children and they are 10 14 16 17 i have been in the same situation as you please do not stop taking your child to this group as she will benefit from going in the long run if a child pushes then you go over and gently tell the child that its naughty to push and that your child will gladly share the toy that she is playing with if this do sent work then the parent of the other child will see what you are trying to do and will feel embarrassed so she will then try and look the perfect mum and tell her child herself

Answer 10

I totally understand! My daughter is quite timid too altho a bit older, she's nearly 2 and a half and instead of taking her to a toddler group i've been taking her to gymnastics. she gets the chance to interact if she wants to but also tire herself out on the equipment! we spend the afternoon afterwards at our friends house whose daughter is only 5 weeks younger than mine and her daughter goes to toddler group and seems to be the same sort of child you find there, much more assertive than my daughter. we're making my daughter stand up for herself, with my friends backing too, but when she stood up to her friend last week when she tried to take a book off her she got smacked in the face with an alarm clock!

Try some other activities with your daughter, there are some other things out there run at sports centres and clubs like our gymnastics where they can be with other kids but they HAVE to be supervised so the other parents will have to watch what their kids are doing. good luck!