When should I expect my boyfriend of 5 years to ask me to marry him?Or should I leave because he cant commit?

Question

I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and I have graduated college and even have a great job. Why hasn't he asked me to marry him yet? And if he doesn't want to commit is he leading me on? I am ready for the next step in our relationship.

Answer 1

Pressuring a guy to marry after 5 years is not a good idea. He doesn't have any intention of making you an honest woman or he would have asked by now.
To be fair to him he may fear that once married everything will change. Most men have heard at least one horror story of a relationship gone to pot soon after marriage and it makes them gun shy to ask.
You might try mentioning that some friend of yours is getting married and watch his reaction. you could even take the moment to say, "I think it might be nice to be married some day." Watch for signs of him becoming uneasy, or more romantic. One way or the other you will know his intent and go from there.

If you can't tell which way he is leaning try moving out and in with a girlfriend for just a few days. If he comes looking for you chances are he will listen when you tell him you are losing faith because he doesn't want to marry you.

Best of luck

Answer 2

I think u should just calm down. Whats the bid rush 2 get married anyway? I've been with my man 4 7yrs, graduated colled, I'm now a manager in an office and i still haven't been asked. The more time u spend thinking about it it will eventually eat away at u and ruin ur relationship.

Have u spoke about commitment? Does he want 2 get married 1 day? If u know he does then just chill out, enjoy ur relationship and it will happen when the time is right!

Answer 3

In the first place it is time to mature up. Your at the top of your stepping stones in your relationship. You have the whole shebang!!! Or should I say, he has it all.

Why get married when he already has all of the marital perks. There is nothing left to the imagination.

You may want to seriously go on Dr. John Grays site (Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus)and find the Internet t.v. series done with Sherrie Nattrass. They are fantastic. He actually address the exact question you asked.

Your boyfriend would be about a thousand time more mature, should he watch them too.

I venture a guess that you will be blown away with what you find out. If its not going to happen in the relationship your in, perhaps it will better prepare you for the next successful one. Good Luck.

PS. You will love the one hour segments. They are so "to the point".

Answer 4

Ask Him, he'll probably say no because he wants to ask you himself. Its very un-nerving asking a girl to marry you. Men have to be romantic and come up with some silly way of asking. Drop hints like crazy aswell and he'll pop the question fairly soon whether he needs a bit of dutch courage or not. Also try telling him that he doesn't have to have a ring to propose and that you can both go pick it afterwards before you tell people.

A friend of mine booked her wedding venue for 2007 and then told her boyfriend that he better propose before then. He proposed in the summer. This is a bit drastic though even if he did have two years notice.

Also you could try blackmail, no more nookie until i'm engaged and we have a date for the wedding.

Answer 5

There are 2 things you can do:

1) Try dropping the subject into conversation, asking how he feels about marriage, just to sound out how he feels about it..... and/or try dropping a few subtle hints, like next time you walk past a jewellery store together and looking at the rings ("ooh, I like that one", etc).

2) You know the old saying "If you want something done, do it yourself" (or words to that effect)?...... well, if he ain't made the move, what's stopping you from asking him?
Though before going that far, you may want to make absolutely sure he's the right one (e.g. pays his bills on time, doesn't flip his lid with kids, etc) before shelling out for a wedding (which I believe costs about the same these days as a decent used Porsche).

Answer 6

maybe you should bring it up in casual conversation one time say like when do think someone should get married like how many years maybe that is blunt but i am a blunt person but try to be subtle about it and bring it up in causal conversation. See what his answer is or just come right out and say it and see what he says at least then you know where you stand right.

Answer 7

Have you asked how HE feels about marriage? Has he flat out said he doesn't want to get married? These are questions that you need to ask. You should be able to make your own decision based upon his answers. Good luck!

Answer 8

OK be a 21st century gal and pop the question to him...if his answer is no (meaning not willing to set a date) then calmly and ration present your case...tell him your ready and if he isn't your perfectly capable of finding someone who is...don't drag the conversation out...don't make idle threats...just lay it down and if he's not willing to act or at least meet you half way then those boots were made for walkin...gl...

Answer 9

Obviously, he's not ready to commit himself yet. In this crossroad of your relationship, it's best if you both take your time off from each other. Meet other people and keep an open mind. I'm a member of SinglesNet Dating. I'm inviting you to join this site http://www.upkb.com/singlesnet.php
.

Answer 10

are you ready to settle down? be open and ask him...if he say he's not ready YET then ask what are the possibilities that he will be...

be warned some men will not be ready forever...so better ask now if you want it the other way...time is something that we should not take for granted...