1. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
2. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
3. The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."
4. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
5. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
2006-10-23 20:04:27 · 12 answers · asked by Electric 7 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North
ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
Tuesday at 4 P.M. there will be an ice cream social. Will ladies
giving milk, please come early.
Wednesday the Ladies Literary Society will meet. Mrs. Johns will
sing "Put Me In My Little Bed" accompanied by the Pastor.
Thursday at 5 P.M. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers
Club. All wishing to become Little Mothers will please meet the
Minister in his study.
This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Jackson to come
forward and lay an egg on the altar.
On Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the expenses of the new carpeting. All wishing to do something on the carpet, please come forward and get a piece of paper.
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
This evening at 7 P.M. there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation
would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.
A songfest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of
David, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Adams.
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian
Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."
Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High."
2006-10-23 20:19:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
Ah yes, the humorous things that crop up at churches across the land. If people can't take a joke they need to stop drinking vinegar and join the human race.
I think all of them are funny and may actually have occurred at one time.
I'll share one joke with you.
Choir director, a woman about 30 is standing in the opening of what will become her new shower discussing which way the door will open with the contractor. Church lady, a longtime member, calls to ask about songs for next service. The ten year old daughter answers phone and says. "Mom can't come to the phone, she is in the shower with the contractor."
I bet that didn't make it into the bulletin!!
2006-10-23 20:18:44 · answer #2 · answered by Johnny B Goode 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I continually take excitement in analyzing the church announcements, including those you have indexed above. i might decide for to characteristic 3 of my own. a million. Please place your donation interior the envelope alongside with the deceased man or woman, you opt for remembered. 2. For those of you who've toddlers & do no longer realize it, we've a nursery downstairs. 3. Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, would be conversing this evening, at Calvary Methodist Church. Come pay attention Betha Belch each of ways from Africa.
2016-10-02 21:45:11 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first two were good. The other three were lame
2006-10-23 21:23:45 · answer #4 · answered by badDoug 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
funny>>>hehehehe>>>>some mistakes in the bulletin make it hilarious>>>>LOL
2006-10-24 00:42:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
only 5 points.somemore plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
2006-10-24 00:09:59 · answer #6 · answered by hennaasrani 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Old but still funny!
2006-10-23 20:10:57 · answer #7 · answered by kittyfreek 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why do i feel at one time all these saying are true and were said.
2006-10-23 20:41:41 · answer #8 · answered by kman1830 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
haha
2006-10-23 23:55:56 · answer #9 · answered by mr. x 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i dont know
2006-10-23 20:52:30 · answer #10 · answered by !!!$weet!!! 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋