if you hear your a loser everyday of your life, how do you go on?

Question

how do i go on in life trying to be positive when everyday of my entire life, I hear my dad make a negative comment about me, not only that but when i try to go to school or better my situation, i get put down with comments saying you dont need that, you need to work the job your at making 8 dollars an hour, you cant afford to go to school, so i never get any positive things said to me, even after i tell him to stop that, a week goes by and hes back to saying all the negative stuff again, i am 27 and still live at home and i feel like such a loser because thats all i was told my whole life....what to do?

Answer 1

Get your own place for a start, you have a job you should be able to. Then dont speak to him again and ignore him. I'm sure you are not a loser, compared to me at least, im 23 and still live at home but have no job to support myself.

Answer 2

You are not a loser! Consider moving away from home. Get a studio apartment, rent a room, or share an apartment with a friend. Go to the library and have the reference librarian help you find resources about scholarships/loans/grants so you can continue your education. You have made a good start by trying to stand up for yourself, and that takes self-esteem and courage. Give YOURSELF some praise. Look in the mirror twice a day, once in the morning and once at night. Smile at yourself, and say something positive about yourself. This is called an affirmation, and will help. Consider counseling, to give yourself additional support. Most important of all, keep on trying, and never lose hope. You are a precious person...as long as YOU recognize that, you will be able to move forward in a positive way.

Answer 3

As hard as it is to take..there is a way to get out of this long long situation you are in. Even if you are making 8 dollars an hour. You can find ways to leave home and get a place of your own. The longer you stay the worse it's going to be. Some family members have deep problems and need help but you do not have the power to help them. You only have the power to help yourself. There are helplines in every major city. There are counselors in most hospitals, Start calling around and see who you can get an appointment with. I'm sure there are programs for young people like yourself. If you were 14 yrs young it would be different but with your age you can move on with some help from an organization. Nothing hurts more than being put down with words....it's worse than being hit with a board that leaves outward wounds. Everyone who reads your question feels for you...and will help you find a answer so you can look forward to a more positive way of living.

Answer 4

I can understand your situation perfectly.

I was in a similar situation.

You are living at home because you are threatened by what awaits you out there living on your own.

You are afraid to fail.

I will warn you that going it alone will most likely end up in failure, but if you have the staying power to succeed, all the failings will prove to be a valuable lesson.

It's either accepting the status quo, or doing something about changing it.

Many like you have gone on to become fifty year olds still living at home with mom and or dad.

They bought their houses when they were cheap, and now you came along, and you find no way out because the jobs won't take care of your needs, and you feel trapped.

There are many more like you out there.

I know of some that have to go back home when the going gets tough.

I broke off from a situation like yours, and never looked back despite failings in marriage, loss of a good paying job, and many other financial set-backs.

...and I will never go back because I would then become a worm instead of a human being.

You become a better person and stronger when you go off on your own like I did.

I am willing to bet you will accept the status quo.

Ten years from today, twenty, even thirty, and you'll be in the same place, listening to all the negative comments, and making $8.00 an hour.

See if I'm right. Time will tell.

I see many 80 year olds today taking care of their 50 year old kids. Pathetic. Used to be the reverse was true.

Answer 5

Don't believe him. That's BS - if you're going to school and trying to better yourself, then your dad's just wrong.

I was going to say you probably need to talk to a psychiatrist, because I'm sure that's causing you depression. But really, YOU don't sound like you have a problem. Your dad's the one who should see a shrink.

Ok, you should probably see a counselor or doctor or someone, simply because you need to unload this on someone. This is bigger than one person can handle I think - having your parent call you a loser, or make you feel like a loser, is completely unacceptable. Once you get out of the house, you'll realize that no one in the world will ever again treat you like your parents. Most parents never stop thinking of thier kids as 12 years old.

Go to the gym. Read some books. Drink coffee with friends. Work your butt off in school. Talk to a clergyman or doctor or someone. Get this off your chest. Definitely get out of that house. And keep in mind that when you leave, you'll never have to deal with that crap again.

And you're not a loser. Simply put, if you're going to school, by definition you're not a loser.

Answer 6

make a change in your life. your obviously not happy so lets make changes so you are happy. Dont prove your father and everyone else right! prove them wrong, that should be your motivation. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE! why not make it a good one! my dad always say "i dont want to go in the ground having lived life as a dead Sh*T.
As for your father-i guess he might be insecure about himself. Just think, he is the one with the problem!
Sooooo..
Make a list of everything that makes you unhappy. Where you live, who you hang around etc. finance etc

Make a list of what makes or would make you happy.

Now work on the first list, how can we change those things to make them positive in you life. Why not start looking in the paper for houses that you can share with people. Not only is that cheaper sharing the expenses but you can meet new people.
If you think that its to big of a step remember, the longer you stay with negative people like your father the longer you will get that negative vibe. You wont beleive what changes can be made in your life when you live with supportive positive people. Trust me i know (personal exp).
Might not work out, but at least you tried something.

Answer 7

Just because you are called a loser dosnt make you one. If I said I could fly every day I still wouldnt be able to. Best thing to do is not listen to him any more. The strength you need is in you and not in peoples opinion of you. You are who you choose to be not them. Find some part of your life that makes you happy and makes you smile and anytime people start to make fun of you. go there....in your mind. Or maybe you could try writeing or painting. It doesnt need to be great it just needs to be an internal expression. I hope this helps. Oh yeah that happy place thing. It could be as grand as a vacation you went on or as simple as a person you found interesting on the street. What ever it is if it makes you smile then you will. You are not a loser. A loser is worse then a quiter and a loser is someone that needs to make others feel small in order to feel big. It sounds more like they are losers not you. If you ever need to talk send me a message I will try to respond as soon as I can.

Answer 8

Move out of your parents' house, even if you can only afford to rent a room. Then you need to limit your communication with your father. Where is your mother during all his rude comments? Then you need to start each day saying you are a very bright, happy person who can do anything you put your mind to do. As far as not being able to afford to go to school, see if there are any jobs with large companies near your city because sometimes they will pay for your college education as that benefits the company to have people on staff that can rise within the company. You can do it but you need to remove yourself from the negative comments from your dad.

Answer 9

Be positive and work to prove everyone wrong. That is what I did and I did it well.

My family was always down on me with name calling. I joined the Army to get away from home. Got all the education I could get, became a cop and retired at 45 and now have my own successful business. Married 34 years and 5 kids.

Answer 10

Move out...eliminate negative people in your life. Get therapy and move on.
Or...get a pair of ear plugs and sing all day. That should shut them up for awhile.
Luckily you are in charge of your own life and the person you want to be. You get to decide. So the verbal abuse from your father is just a prime example of who you don't want to be.
Make some short term goals for yourself and move forward with them. Once you get the hang of it...you'll realize how competent you really are. Always remember...You Decide...You choose.
So...are you really a "loser" ?
Only if you decide to be...sounds like you have to make that decision now.