I met a girl at school, dated her for the past year. She moved to Chicago for me, and now we live together. It's my apartment, but she lives here and pays half the rent (I could not afford it on my own). She's great, we get along well, but I feel like I'm missing out on something.
I started dating another girl the same time I met the girl I'm with now, and nothing came of it, other than a good friendship. I think I'm in love with her, or maybe I'm just infatuated, but I cannot stop thinking about the other girl and how I should be with her, even though she currently lives out of state.
I think I'm just not ready to be serious, but now I feel like I'm stuck in a relationship and living situation that probably isn't the right one. Even though my girlfriend treats me amazing and there are no problems, I cannot get over the other girl.
Help! What should I do?
2006-10-23 18:44:06 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Consider this:
Since you are of college age and not in a rush to marry and settle, maybe you could continue in your current relationship in good faith.
By this I mean, making it clear to this lady that you are enjoying her company and the life you share, but you do not feel it will be "forever". Make no promises of future and allow her the opportunity to accept or reject those terms. Some very good relationships particularly at a young age, are enjoyed because of this freedom.
She may not find you marriage material either but not be ready to break it off because it is a comfortable symbiosis. As long as you are honest about it and share the same expectations, it could be an equitable and valuable life experience for both of you.
I think this woman should be given highest regards though, since she changed her life and made the effort to come be with you. Obviously she did not come unencouraged and cares for you deeply.
Your friend however seems to have made her decision by keeping you as a friend afar... that is quite telling. Maybe your infatuation is best left to the wind until your living partner has the opportunity to decide what her priorities are.
She may leave immediately and you will be able to persue this other lady. If she does not leave directly, you will have the opportunity to develop maturity, a more solid sense of direction, and something more evasive... a greater awareness of the difference between lust and love.
Remember to be kind.
2006-10-23 19:36:07 · answer #1 · answered by ladyquesteur 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, u r emotionally cheating on ur galfrnd now and she does not deserve that. It sounds to me u r more of mates than anythng the fact that u r evn sharing rent. I think u shd talk to this gal u live with, how u feel etc, there is no point in stayn in a relationship witht chemistry, and it will hurt her much more as time gos on, so the earlier u tell her the better. Get another mate of urs to share the rent n let the gal move out and start a whole new life that she deserves.
2006-10-23 18:53:20 · answer #2 · answered by aasweet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very hard to be trapped between two really different great girls. Maybe it would help you if you took a piece of paper out and wrote the qualities (good and bad) of each girl down. You could then have a visual representation of what you think of each girl. In any event, thinking about that and what you want for your future will maybe help you figure out which one you should be with. Only your heart can tell you. Either way, if you decide not to be with the girl you are currently with, tell her as soon as possible. It seems she's done a lot for you and I bet it's going to be hard to do. Maybe you just don't want to hurt her. Honesty, even though it may hurt for a while, won't hurt her as much as continuing in with something you no longer believe in. Good luck, I hope you find what you're looking for.
2006-10-23 18:50:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You gotta figure it out for yourself, we can't answer it for you, but try and do it quickly so you don't keep leading your current girlfriend on, that's just mean and it doesn't sound like she deserves that. If you find you no longer want to be in a relationship then talk to her and explain that your feelings for her did not flourish into anything more than friendship and that's all you would like to be but hope she understands or feels the same and would like to remain roommates. Not very likely with most females, however their are some mature enough to deal with the truth without a bunch of drama and things will work out for the both of you. GL
2006-10-23 18:54:18 · answer #4 · answered by whitebeanner 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey by doing this u r cheating the girl u first met.
when u r getting along with the first one u should not get into love with another.
its only a infactuation.
in this process u may lose both.
again convincing, telling lies, consoling then confusion, which will lead to depression.
please don't leave the first.
first is always the best.
when once u have what u have thought, mind will ask for another.
u find something lacking in what u have and find many things in what u don't have. but when u get another again the same process. pl don't do that, its my sincere advice.
2006-10-23 18:50:48 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell the truth, and seperate.
You are both wasting your life on a comfortable situation. You live in girlfriend deserves a man who will love her 100% and it sounds like you are not 100% happy.
Life is so short.
Everyone will be sad but at the end of the day you will all be happier
2006-10-23 18:48:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi DB, If you love another girl,why did you have this one move in with you?? what you need to do,is get ahold of the other girl and see how she feels about you.if she wants to try and make yours and hers relationship work.you will be hurting the girl you share rent with.you need to do some serious thinking and pick the one you really want to be with. good luck my friend.
Clowmy
2006-10-23 18:54:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ever heard a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush,Are you set on making your life mirisible along with hers.Fantasies in your head are some times better left in your head.Be happy with what you have.
2006-10-23 18:54:57 · answer #8 · answered by Big Eagle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dig deep and find out who you really like before you talk to them you dont want to give you relationship with both listen to your heart good luck
2006-10-23 18:56:39 · answer #9 · answered by songbirdchelsea 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop using people?
2006-10-23 18:47:48 · answer #10 · answered by socrates4hemlock 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋