I just broke up with my bf because he is extremely paranoid,abusive and we don't trust each other. I believe this relationship is not going anywhere if there is no trust.
I am afraid that when I am lonely I may very possibly call him and get back with him,but how do I control myself from making a mistake again?
2006-10-23 18:21:59 · 20 answers · asked by angela 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You're right about your relationship. Without trust it is impossible to live a happy life together. Trust me, you don't always want to feel as though the person you are with needs to "check up on you" due to lack of trust. Some will say this behavior proves his love but this is a dangerous form of love called CONTROL. So what if you feel lonely. Isn't that a better feeling than being abused? Mental abuse is painful and dangerous. Be alone for awhile, I'm sure you'll find it a relief just to relax without anyone around to make you unhappy. Good luck.....be happy!
2006-10-23 18:37:07 · answer #1 · answered by needs help 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had this issue once. Well if you have the number memorized this will be difficult. In any case, the place to start is by destroying any reminders of the guy - whether it's gifts he gave you or a page in your address book - whatever brings thoughts of him into your head - toss it out! Then, get your mind on better things. That always helped me in the past. Out of sight - out of mind - not totally but it does help with the temptation. Take anything with his name or phone # on paper and burn it in a safe place. That little ritual can help you solidify the fact that in your mind - it's over and that you're not going back. A symbol of burning whatever it was into ashes as it were - leaving it behind and blowing it away. It's not easy - but I think these tips will help. The important thing is that you don't give him the pleasure of thinking that in your heart you're still hanging on - even if you are. Also, don't give yourself the opportunity to make a big mistake by going back to the guy even temporarily. You're a woman - strong enough to live without a man - and strong enough to wait for the right one!
2006-10-23 18:26:45 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remind yourself why you broke up. If he was paranoid, abusive, and untrustworthy..what's the attraction? If you get lonely,go adopt a puppy or cat. Occupy your time with things WORTH your time. If he was that bad, you shouldn't ever feel THAT lonely that you'd take him back. Think of what kind of future you want and then you'll know where he fits. In the past.
2006-10-23 18:26:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You simply need to think of all the abusive times you've had with him and then go shopping or something. Why would you ever consider going back to someone who treated you so horribly?? I'd rather be lonely then abused.
2006-10-23 18:24:58 · answer #4 · answered by steinwald 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that he is abusive is more that reason to never talk to this guy again. Don't talk to him again...anyone that abuses one another is no good. As a cop I see this stuff all the time!! Stay away for your safety!!!!!!
If u want to call him.....think of everything he did to you
2006-10-23 18:27:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
erase his number from anything u have and then try to keep urself busy and when u have the need to call him. call ur friend or a family member like ur parents or something
2006-10-23 18:25:14 · answer #6 · answered by Beca <3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there's no way u won't call him.. because there is so much more about him that make u feel good which will overuled what he had done to u. But if he is NOT than why bother calling him.. talk to ur sister instead.
2006-10-23 19:01:15 · answer #7 · answered by Johny B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't get lonely, keep yourself busy by hanging with your friends or better yet, go out on a date with another guy.
2006-10-23 18:27:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hang out with your friends (girls), all the time you want.
Learn another language, practice a new sport, go away from your city as an adventure (weekends), do bungy jump, scuba diving...
2006-10-23 18:27:06 · answer #9 · answered by Gabrio 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i personally don't see anything wrond in contacting your ex while u re on a search for a new man and don't have him yet. u might call him, even have sex with him, as long as u understand that u both have no future and this is only one time thing - u re on your quest for a new guy. just don't settle for your ex. good luck
2006-10-23 18:24:12 · answer #10 · answered by jacky 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋