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Thoughts!!!

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that

a lot of people die of natural causes.

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The easiest way to find something lost around the house

is to buy a replacement.

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Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

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There are two kinds of pedestrians -- the quick and

the dead.

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Life is sexually transmitted.

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An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

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If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then who

is the fool who said, "Quit while you're ahead?"

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Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one

can die.

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The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

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Get the last word in: Apologize.

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Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach

that person to use the Internet and they won't bother

you for weeks.

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Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for

anything, but you still can't help but smile when you

see one tumble down the stairs.

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Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

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All of us could take a lesson from the weather.

It pays no attention to criticism.

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Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred

dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?

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In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird.

Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make

it normal.

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Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession.

I have come to realize that it bears a very close

resemblance to the first.

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How is it one careless match can start a forest fire,

but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

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AND THE # 1 THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:

You read about all these terrorists --

most of them came here legally,

but they hung around on these expired visas,

some for as long as 10 -15 years.

Now, compare that to Blockbuster;

you are two days late with a video

and those people are all over you.

Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration.

2006-10-23 17:49:20 · 15 answers · asked by Sangy . 4 in Entertainment & Music Jokes & Riddles

15 answers

Thanks man, just thanks

2006-10-23 20:34:21 · answer #1 · answered by Tkni 1 · 0 0

Excellent!

2006-10-23 20:15:52 · answer #2 · answered by kittyfreek 5 · 0 0

Random, yes. Original. no. Sorry Charlie. I've heard your quips from the daily show to the daily news.

Funny though!

2006-10-23 17:51:49 · answer #3 · answered by Big D 1 · 0 0

Very good.That was funny.Great oxymorons,

2006-10-23 18:20:08 · answer #4 · answered by thesilkavenger 2 · 0 0

nooo "s h i t" never thought of it that way
makes sence but

2006-10-23 17:55:51 · answer #5 · answered by omissy2005 3 · 0 0

excellent

2006-10-23 18:07:45 · answer #6 · answered by kitty 4 · 0 0

Ha ha! Funny and true!

2006-10-23 17:53:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

LOL
Loved 'em.
Had me rollin'.

2006-10-23 18:01:48 · answer #8 · answered by ajakhatarinaak47 2 · 0 0

most are,and all are funny,good job...YES

2006-10-23 18:29:37 · answer #9 · answered by krusty_blue_spaz 5 · 0 0

Thanks for the thoughts...must've took forever to write them all.

2006-10-23 18:12:19 · answer #10 · answered by ~p♥kes~ 5 · 0 0

=) i needed that

2006-10-23 17:53:42 · answer #11 · answered by ? 5 · 0 0

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