HELP ANSWER ME PLEASE ? I'm divorced and feel very lonely,since i LOVE men. My ex always told me i was ugly

Question

I always felt a inmense urge to hug him and kiss him A LOT but i felt a lot of rejection. I want to feel love,passion,etc...Now that i'm single none of the men i like ,like me,or at least don't ask me out.
i can tell, about their body language that they don't like me. Its sad
not to have a person to LOVE, HUG,KISS.What i'm i doing wrong ?
I do LOVE myself ! About my ex-he left me, i felt so ugly, anddevastated, etc... Can u help with any advice ?

Answer 1

First of all, don't shoot yourself down.

You say that you can 'tell' that people don't like you. Frankly, I find that hard to believe. It sounds to me like you're DECIDING that they don't like you, and rejecting them before they can reject you. So I think the first thing you have to accept is that you're not a mind-reader. Maybe people like you. Maybe they don't. The only way to find out is to ASK.

And that's the second point.

Guys don't ask you out? That's a bummer. What's stopping you from asking them? Welcome to the 21st century... women don't have to sit at home waiting for a guy to call any more. If you like a guy and would like to get to know him better, that's probably all you have to say to do so. Most people LOVE to talk about themselves, and if you give them an opportunity, you'll not only learn a lot about them, but they'll tend to like you for giving them a chance.

But there's one more thing.

You want to have something physically around to hug, kiss, and whatever else you do with men who are physically around. That's okay. Pretty much everyone wants that. But if you go looking for this, you are unlikely to find anything else.

You seem like a nice person. That's why I'm telling you this. If you pursue people who only want to be intimate with you, you are likely to find only people who will use you and throw you away like garbage. And you are not garbage. So if you thought the first two things I suggested were hard, this is going to absolutely take the cake. But don't find someone just to hug. Find someone WORTHY of hugging you.

Your standards say a lot about you. Set high ones. Yes, you will be alone a lot until you find the right person. But once you find the right person, they'll be yours forever. Anything worth having is worth waiting for. Find someone who makes you a better person; someone you can look up to, not someone you want to get away from. Find that person who makes you feel like the luckiest person in the world.

You deserve no less.

Answer 2

Hey Pink. I'll be blunt. Anything less won't help. Firstly. If your ex lied, you'll only have to address your self image. but if your ex said what he said for a reason, then you have to address that. True, most men will rarely ask an ugly woman out. However, no matter what your physical appearance, you can be beautiful. There are two women in particular who I thought where extremely ugly when I first met them. Now I think they are two of the top 5 most beautiful and sexy women I have ever seen. It helped that they thought that they were beautiful and acted it. But most importantly, their beautiful personalities and demeanors far eclipsed their skin. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but the beholder notices personality much more than blemishes or makeup. If you are ugly, don't expect to knock the socks off of a guy the first moment you meat. But you can attract a guy that you meet regularly--such as coworkers or fellow college students. Here's what you must do: always dress well (get advice from someone who really knows), carry yourself well (don't slouch), find a flattering hairstyle and stick it (no ghetto fantastic), tone up your body if you are not already. If you have mid to large breasts, wear tops that show them off--guys just have a weakness. (Victoria's Secret can help makeup for what you lack). If your legs are your best features, then show them. Wear thongs or no underwear when you can (this is an internal mental thing--trust me on this). Sleep naked (another act that builds self confidence). It is 100% ok to be needy but don't ever act needy. Don't just act confident, be confident. Above all, remember this; If you believe you are beautiful and you act nicely, you WILL be attractive--which is different and better than beautiful. Again, your most noticable effect at first will be on guys that get to see you over time and get exposed to your charms. Eventually, you will go from zero to dude-magnet within seconds as you start realizing just how attractive you can be. Plus you may get lucky early and find a guy like me who'se not fixated on outward appearance.

Answer 3

Well, Pink, that was him. You were rejected by him. And his opinion of or criticism of you, isn't anything more than an opinon. You say none of the men you like, reject you, too, now? Try some other men. Maybe even move and try some new men. You want fo feel loved, love, passion, kiss and hug. So do I. What you're doing wrong, is your selecting the wrong men. Now that your x is gone from you life, try thinking better of yourself. You admitted already, that you like yourself. That's a start. But once you find a man who really loves you, and with whom you can feel what you say, you want to feel, devote yourself to him! But start working on a plan and take action.

Answer 4

Look into the mirror right now and tell your self you're (Beautiful!).
Alot of times we get involved with the wrong kind of people, and eventually like Kodak, their true colors come out... I know your a great person! If you want to get to a person, you target their mind. That's what your ex-boyfriend did to you because he knew that with him you were vunerable because at one point he was special to you. Alot of times while in a relationship, one party might start to get jealous of the other party. Maybe a new look, positive burst of energy, new job and exceling. And just plain hatred! But again, he was just trying to tare down your mind and make you feel unworthy or unattractive. Rebuke the enemy and every lie he has tried to feed you. It's hard to bounce back when the person you thought cared about you was out for self gain. He definitely wasn't the one, and that special is on his way. Because he will see you and you will be everything he was looking for. Sometimes we go through things to build our character or to learn something. One thing I can say you learned is what type of guy your not looking for. You deserve to be treated like a queen and the guy for you will do just that. Don't ever settle for less, and you have to find the worth in yourself. if you first don't accept yourself, no one else is either. And definetly demand your respect from guys or anyone. But most important, don't let your ex's actions depict your's. Your a lady! You have style, grace, femininity,ha!ha! the old maxwell song. Go get em Lady! Don't hurt nobody! (smile)

Answer 5

first of all every morning when you get up take a long look into the mirror and tell yourself that you are a beautiful person a wonderful human being, hold your head up and don't be so down on yourself and take pride of your appearance after all you can't be that ugly if he married you in the first place and for what you are doing wrong i don't know you personally but i would guess absolutely nothing.

But by listening to him and him saying how ugly you are and in your mind you are going to feel ugly those word will ring in your head for a long time until somebody rescues you and tells you how beautiful that you really are and he will look you deep into your eyes and bring out the beauty deep with in your soul

Answer 6

First of all, you are a great person simply because you realize that you have a lot of love to give. We live in a world where people are so self-absorbed that true love and intimacy are often replaced with lust and deception. I know this will sound so cliche, but don't rush things. You will find someone who loves you for you, who thinks you are the most beautiful person in the world, and who will allow you to express yourself, including your love, in any way you see fit! So keep living your life, be happy with who you are, and the rest will follow!

Answer 7

Guys can pick up on "desperate" and it scares them off. By the sounds of things your self esteem took and awful beating. You need to work on that first. As long as your self is esteem is low you will keep choosing men that will use and abuse you and make you feel worse.

You really need to seek some professional counseling. Get happy with yourself alone as you are before looking for a partner.

Answer 8

hi about your ex- so what he left u . the best thing that u can do is move on and date alot of men, and maybe even have some sex. there are a lot of men out there. i'm shure that u are not ugly. i'm married and some time i feel like having sex with another women. get back to me.

Answer 9

Your ex is a nitwit. It is entirely natural to feel rejected, etc. after a messy breakup; you have plenty of company. The only cure for it is to make yourself as attractive as you can, and get out in the world and do things. Sooner or later, you will meet someone interesting who is interested in you.

Answer 10

My husband left me after 13 years of marriage because he was not attracted to me anymore after I gained 50 lbs. That has been 14 mos ago, and I am still very lonely and still have not lost the weight. I feel men are not attracted to be because of me weight. I am still attracted to good looking guys but the good looking guys do not want chunky gals.