Her other children always say they are broke. My husband and I usually end up giving her money.
2006-10-23 16:45:58 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Take a page from your in-laws: tell her you are broke too. Or a just a plain "no" should do it. There is nothing worse than a mooching mother-in-law.
2006-10-23 16:56:23 · answer #1 · answered by NyteWing 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong with giving her some money once in a while as long as you don't feel like she's taking advantage of your generosity. In a way your husbands family is taking advantage of your generosity by not ever stepping up.
In every family each of the siblings take on a specific role in the family that everyone expects the other to fill, these are taken on from childhood, but survive long into adulthood, & may never actually change, One may be considered the "Trouble maker" another one the "Peace keeper",& another one the "Hero", just as examples, & some of them might take on more than one of the roles as they see fit.
My guess is your husband is either the "Peace keeper" or the "Hero" or a bit of both, while his sibblings are in roles that allow them to avoid responsibility for their mom.
Everyone in the family subconciously know each others roles, & know just who to turn to in a particular situation. So your mother-in-law knows that she can turn to your son for money, because she can count on him to come across with it.
If your husband is unhappy with the role he is in, then it's up to him to change it. After all he's the one who teaches people how to treat him.
2006-10-23 17:08:21 · answer #2 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what does she need the money for? That would be my biggest concern. You guys are no doubt trying to save money and live your life just like anyone else. Your not the National Credit Union. If she keeps on asking tell her that your wiling to lend her money in an emergency but you cannot respect her if she abuses your kindness.just make sure whatever your decision you and your hubby are in agreement and you guys exaplin in together to her as a united front
2006-10-23 16:51:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my mother in law and mom does the same thing and it is hard to say no because you hate to see them do with out. But what I have start doing is calling them telling them when we are broke and need money knowing that they can't help us but to let them know we have hard times to it has stop some what and it is a lot better it hard to say you are not doing good because mom tend to talk to everyone but you know you are not doing bad.
2006-10-23 17:46:25 · answer #4 · answered by Girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does she ever pay you back? If so, and if you can truly afford to lend it to her, then just continue helping her out when she's in need. But, if you aren't able to help her b/c of your own expenses, then just explain to her that you really just don't have it. It won't help you and your hubby out any to be dead broke all the time just so you can help your MIL. You could always consider helping her plan out a budget too... depending on how close you are to her. Sometimes people just need a little guidance.
good luck!!!
2006-10-23 16:50:45 · answer #5 · answered by Jemmie Vee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that you'd be happy to help her set up a budget that she can live with, but you and your husband can't continue to finance her. She keeps coming to you because you keep giving her money. You aren't going to let her starve or lose her utilities or home, but I bet she'll find a way to live within her means.
2006-10-23 16:51:22 · answer #6 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay out of it. Discuss with your husband, tell him your heart graciously and let him handle since it is his mother. Your relationship with your husband is more important than a conflict with his mother. If you trusted him enough to become his life partner, then you can trust him with this decision as well. I know this is a difficult situation… hang in there!
2006-10-23 16:49:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are going to sit down with your husband and let him know that yall can't pay mother support. It's ok to help sometimes but all the time its a problem. Your husband or wife is going to have to let her know, I feel that its that childs responsibilty to tell her because you wouldn't cause any problems, not intentionally.
2006-10-23 16:51:32 · answer #8 · answered by heaven 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you don't want to do anything to step on her toes because that is your mother-inlaw and you want to be on good terms with. But with that said she can't keep using as a bank either. If it bothers you then you then you need to speak up and say something because you will be the nice girl but a broke one at that.
2006-10-23 16:49:36 · answer #9 · answered by Wahenie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is she in a bad financial situation? I think knowing the reason and the whole story would help here. Personally, if she is really having a hard time and is trying her best, I would try to help her out, but if she's the one making the situation worse, I would definately talk to her and say you can't afford to give her anymore. Try to help her out in other ways.
2006-10-23 16:51:48 · answer #10 · answered by Nancy D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋