Males Fight Back?

Question

Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!


1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one

1. You can either as k us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,! Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Answer 1

HAHAHAHA very funny and soooooo true thanks for the laugh

Answer 2

1. Good thing men can't read minds;
Your ego could'nt handle what we
really think.
1. If men would like anything else up;
They'll be sure to put the toilet seat
down.
1. Sunday sports are fine; They go hand
and hand with a T.V. dinner.
1. Think of it this way, shopping isn't a sport, it's a way to get rid of you.
1. Crying isn't blackmail, its results.
1. Subtle hints don't work
Strong hints don't work
Obvious hints don't work
and if I say what I want, you're probably
not listening; so if I get what I want
from someone else would that work?
1. Yes and no may be perfectly acceptable,
but getting men to comprehend requires detail.
1. Men create problems, sympathy is what
makes women solve them
1. Is there a cure for " Men"? If not, the only thing that could possibly get rid of the headache is a good lawyer.
1. Nothing is inadmissible in an argument;
Thats why we never forget.
1. We dress like Victoria Secret girls, only the soap opera guys have enough sense to notice
1. Why ask you if we're fat, whens the last time you saw us naked?
1. Women know there's only one way to interpret what a man says; not at all,
he doesn't even know how to interpret it

I'm sleepy, I'll finish tomorrow.

Answer 3

I'm a woman,i agree with you,but don't ask direction i don't,do you know why men was in desert for 40 years?because they didn't ask direction.and i would add one more thing to your list,and this is always appreciate what men dose for you,even you don't like it,only because of his good intention,always say thank you,and then women do whatever you want, that is why man called head and woman neck where the neck turns the head has to follow the neck,without neck you can't turn the head,just don't forget that,

Answer 4

Point in fact, Columbus didn't end up where he set out to go. Any man not man enough to understand the importance of directions or a good map is beyond all hope.

Answer 5

Interesting.

Answer 6

Well said ! Intelligent arguments and Well its Ok with you, but then every body don't want to sleep on the couch like you, No? Thas why ...every man understand these bare facts of life but never have guts to express !! Good piece of work !!! I liked it !

Answer 7

If there is a man walking alone in the forrest, talking to himself...is he still wrong?

Answer 8

I've read this before and it's still hilarious! Also, most of it's true.

Answer 9

haha!
men..
its always so funny when they think they have the power..
lol just playin people..or am i?? lol

Answer 10

whats the question?

Answer 11

HA! Too funny!