well my girlfriend went to the doctor and they asked if she was sexually active.... her mom was out in the lobby waiting and the doctor told her that she was sexually active. and on the way home she blew up on my girlfiend. i dont kno wat to do about this.... how do i approch her mom and let her kno that i really do love her daughter and get her trust back? and how do i get her to let me see her daughter again because i kno after this she is probally not going to let me see her daughter for a while?
2006-10-23 16:22:37 · 15 answers · asked by vinny 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You sound like a great kid. You must realize that this is her BABY your sleeping with. It will take her some time to realize that her baby hs grown into a sexually active young woman. The question is HOW YOUNG? If I found out my 12 or 13 year old was having sex I'd lose it too! If she is 16 or over fine. I think that's the age of consent and I would wonder why the mother isn't more interested in educating her daughter about sex instead of sticking her head in the sand and pretending it's not happening.. this all depends how old the girlfriend is. In the meantime, assuming you are of age, practice safe sex and hopefully the mother will come to like you in time. But it wouldn't be a bad idea to approach the mother like an adult and talk about your feelings for her daughter and her concerns. If she see's your acting like an adult about it she'll be less freaked out about you sleeping with her daughter. Good Luck!
2006-10-23 16:32:33 · answer #1 · answered by k 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, how old are you? Second, it is unethical for a doctor to tell the mom that. The daughter told him that in a doctor/patient confidentality. As for getting trust back, ask the mom if you can sit down with her and have a real discussion about it. Ask her what you need to do to win trust back. Mention that you respect her and her daughter and that all you want is the best for her. good luck
2006-10-23 16:26:47 · answer #2 · answered by cia939 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The doctor shouldn't have told..doctor/patient confidentiality and all. Depending on your ages -- under the age of consent: You are in for a rough road buddy. Losing trust is easy but getting it back is one of the hardest things in the world. Both you and your girlfriend should have a sit down conversation with her mom and let her know how you feel about your girlfriend. Honestly, it probably will be VERY awkward and it may not end well, just make sure you say what you feel and hope for the best.
If you both at/over age of consent: It is none of her business, just don't do it in her house, out of respect.
If you are over 18 and she is not of the age of consent: you are gross and her mom should be pi**ed at you.
2006-10-23 16:33:52 · answer #3 · answered by tish_ls 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old are you guys? What do you want her to trust you with? Are you willing to quit being sexually active? That is usually pretty difficult to do. You need to just be a man, and approach her with your sincerity and intentions; It will be hard, but if you are "man enough" to have sex, and accept the possible outcome (a baby) then you have to take on the rest of the adult responsibilites. Good luck to you.
2006-10-23 16:31:04 · answer #4 · answered by sboyle9453 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how old you are, but I don't think you will get her mom's trust back. I can tell you that the way you are telling the story can't be right. The doctor can not tell mom ANYTHING. Either the girlfriend told her mom and she doesn't want to admit it to you or the doctor should lose his license.
2006-10-23 16:27:19 · answer #5 · answered by Christina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I gotta tell ya, got a teenage daughter myself, this is a tough one, but I'm telling you from a "momma's point of view". What I wish my daugther's boyfriend woulda done...
I wish he would've come to me and said,
"I love your daughter, and, you may not beleive this, but not only do I respect your daughter, but I respect you as the mother that raised the woman I Iove."
"Although we may be having a sexual relationship that you do not approve of, please undertand that I DO NOT plan on getting your daughter pregnant, and I will financially help pay for her birth control. I appreciate the fact that it is NOT YOUR responsiblitlity
for our sexual decisions.
I know that you do not trust me, and I do not expect to get that back anytime soon. I only ask, that on behalf of your daughter (which we BOTH love), that maybe, maybe, we can at least keep the lines of communication open. Not for MY sake, not for YOUR sake, but for your daughter's. I really do love her.
How 'bout it? (with much respect)
2006-10-23 16:36:55 · answer #6 · answered by Ruth M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way to gain (or regain) trust is through honesty. If you try bullshitting the lady, you are so screwed because she will be waiting for it. Now, if her daughter is under age, you should just leave while you still have balls. Otherwise, you're gonna lose them.
2006-10-23 16:26:50 · answer #7 · answered by GORDO BLAKHART 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mom was bluffing and it worked. A doctor would NEVER do that. Think about it, why would he?
She got played and you paid.
Now all you can do is deal with it. Mom wont like you until you marry the girl. Even then its gonna be rough.
LOL...oops, sorry
2006-10-23 16:27:58 · answer #8 · answered by Brother Mike 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK... so this situation has happened in my family with nearly every one of my siblings. Guess what... my mother eventually got over it. Don't give up. Treat her (and her daughter) with respect and it all work out alright.
This is assuming you really do love her and her mother isn't a sex Nazi
2006-10-23 16:28:25 · answer #9 · answered by blackrealty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't mention any ages. By her moms reaction, I have a feeling you and she are younger than you should be for having sex.
Ask your girlfriend about how to deal with her mom. Girls are not stupid. She will know how to handle it.
Darryl S.
2006-10-23 16:40:42 · answer #10 · answered by Stingray 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋