he argues with me everyday about his homework it is getting very tiring for me.I have taken everything that he likes to do away,and have tried everything that i can think of. But it comes down to us yelling at each other and him usually crying because he get so frusrated. I have been to his school and his teachers and staff are being no help. I am at the end of my rope.And hate seeing him cry, his teacher says just let him take all the trouble at school that he is old enough to be responsible for his own actions but he hasn't been to lunch or recess at school in over 2 months, it is hard on him not being able to have something at school to look forward to but not enough to do his work. I don't know what to do, should i try counseling or will he get through this without my help.
2006-10-23 15:10:14 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Definitely an attitude problem.
Don't restrict school stuff. His friends are very important for social growth. Maybe they can even encourage him to do his homework. How about meeting some parents in his class and put together a study group for him. Of course, ask who he likes in his class and who he doesn't.
2006-10-23 15:14:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I gotta say right of the bat that there is a reason he is not doing is homework and it;s definitely not because he doesn't want to. You have to find out what the underlying problem is here. is A. he is to wound up and excited at the end of the day. B. he feels as though he is drowning in all of his work and therefore believe that no matter what he does he will never catch up? or C. the worst possibility is there something that is preventing him mentally from comprehending the work such as a learning disabilitythis can be hard but it's not the end of the world and it is treatable to a certain degree. You have to go through each of these scenarios in your mind and rule them out one by one.
For an immediate solution change things up a bit. If he normally does his homework right away after school try letting him play quietly for 15 minutes then take time to discuss his day a bit before attempting the homework or vice versa. change where he does his homework, IE.. if he does it at the kitchen table let him do it at a desk in his room. Also Maybe get him a few cool tools like a new bat man pencil or whatever he might be into and surprise him with it. Tell him that you got him a special something to help him with his homework because you're proud of the effort he is making. Also help him as much as you can but at the same time give him space to do it own his own. Let him know that you are there if he needs you but don't be in his face about it. If all else fails talk to his pediatrician about it at his next check up.
P.S a calming bath before homework helps release tension and stress. No t.v or radio or anything else loud to distract either. Usually workdays for my kids,
Good luck to you!
2006-10-23 15:23:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
So why is he doing all this? Is he able to do the homework? I mean, academically speaking is he able to do it? It's not too hard, or he doesn't understand it, or anything like that? There's not evidence of an underlying learning issue (ie: dyslexia) that would cause him to have problems, is there? If so, you need to address it. They can't take away his LUNCH, he has to be allowed to eat, and I think taking away recess for a 10 year old (I'm assuming 5th grade) is extreme as well. If there's no reason at all that you or his teachers can find for him to not be doing the work, and it boils down to he's just plain lazy, then just let it be. Yes, let him totally flunk out if it gets to that. Set some rules up, in my house you don't do anything until the homework's done. As long as the grades are good, then I don't check it, but if grades start dropping, then I'm all over it like a bad toupee. There's no reason to argue about it, just state the rule, and there's no arguing about it. There's a good book that got me through this, it's called "Homework Without Tears" here's a link from Amazon...http://www.amazon.com/Homework-Without-Tears-Lee-Canter/dp/0062731327/sr=8-1/qid=1161656192/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/104-8427780-1489519?ie=UTF8. This book does break it down into age ranges too, which is helpful. But I would make sure first there isn't some kind of underlying issue/problem that is preventing him from doing homework. Best of luck to you!
p.s. DON'T take him to someplace like Sylvan if he needs tutoring, if he needs extra support in a subject (ie: reading or math) the school should write either a 504 plan or an IEP. Talk to your building principal about these, they're special education documents. You should NOT pay exorbitant prices (and Sylvan's outrageous!) for something the school should be providing anyway. All you need to do, if you feel it's necessary, is to request, in writing, that your child be evaluated for special education services. The school then HAS to, by federal law, and at their expense, evaluate your child. Best of luck to you!
2006-10-23 15:19:41 · answer #3 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
3 things alarm me about your question.1 you yell at him for not doing something he has no ideal what he is doing.2 the school is not helping him and 3 he has had no recess in 2 months.When you said no lunch you did mean that he gets his lunch but has to eat else where away from the other kids right?This poor child is being yelled at by you and punished by the school for not knowing the homework he is recieving.My blood is boiling right now.You get off your butt and get up to that school and make them help your son.You gotta be loud.As long as you yell at the child and do not make the school hear you then the school is winning and has to not take any responsibiltys for your sons education.The school is failing him and so are you.I have 6 kids and Im not afraid to make the schools hear me.They will listen to me or I will be up at the school daily until they finaly listen.In Cleveland Ohio I had to get a public defender because no one would help my son.As soon as the public defender and I walked into the school and I introduced him as the public defender there was a emergency meeting set for 10:00am that morning.It was 9:30am when we enter the school building.My son got all the services put in place for him.I just moved to Texas and looks like I have a fight on my hands with this school system but I can tell you I will be up to the school in the next few days and Im ready for the battle.Help your child.Sorry if I came off harsh but as a mother of 6 boys I know that a mother must fight for a childs education when these problems arise.
2006-10-23 15:28:45 · answer #4 · answered by darlene100568 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His school must have some kind of adjustment counselor that can meet w/him on a weekly basis. I go through the same thing at times w/my 13 year old. He just wants to get everything done as fast as he can in order to get outside after school. We had a HUGE talk tonight about it. Of course he didn't say anything and I just talked and talked. Take away things he loves and sometimes they come around. I just took away seeing his friends on Fri night and video games as well as the little computer time he gets. He is a great boy but needs to realize how to use his time wisely. Something seems to be troubling your son though so I would seek counseling and start w/the school first. Best of luck to you.
2006-10-23 15:15:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
see ...........this is one of the problems with bush's no child left behind. Our children are in schools trying to reach out and show that they need help and the teachers just sweep it under the rug, because they know that they only have to deal with the child for a year. They pass our children to the next grade regardless of if they can read or add. I am not saying that every teacher is this way, but some of those teachers are.....
Talk to the school counselor and see if they can help your son and find out whats going on....If you are having a problem getting help call your local school board and talk to someone there......If you still have a problem( which after talking to the school board you shouldn't) you as a parent have to find your son help...his pediatrician can provide info on counseling.....where is his father or maybe an uncle or a male figure that he may fell more comfortable talking too. Even though you are mom he still is a boy....
2006-10-23 15:24:22 · answer #6 · answered by HERE4U 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think counseling sounds like a great start! WOW I can't believe a school would allow a child to stay like that. I would think they would look into it, I know maybe he is being difficult, very difficult but 2 months seems like cruel punishment....He probably has given up on even trying now . Sounds like his bad choices have made his life miserable, consequences are good but he is only 10. I think 2 months is excessive Maybe there is some underlying problem. Aren't these the kids they check for dyslexia and what not? Also if it is a public school they do have psychologist available to you for free evaluation.
2006-10-23 15:21:54 · answer #7 · answered by Stacey 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I have a couple of suggestions.
One: Have you had his eyesight tested. My gf son just couldn't see the board and therefore didn't know how to do the work.
Two: Have you had his hearing tested.
Three: If he is missing some basic learning skill, like having trouble reading or writing, sending him to a tutor - like Sullivan, can work wonders. Did this for my son and turned him from D to A's.
Four: Taking away all his fun activities does not get the job done. Limit the activities until after homework is done. No one can work all the time.
2006-10-23 15:21:19 · answer #8 · answered by kny390 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will not get through it without your help, love and support. First call and get an appointment with his pediatrician and have him get a complete physical and explain what is going on. They can check his hearing do a basic eye exam and the basics for add and depression. If all goes well there then get him into a councelor immediatly. You don't say anything about his dad but try getting him involved as well. Until you have ruled out something medically or psychological then I wouldn't force the issue as much. Work with him and try to get him to do it but don't yell, if you feel you are getting upset then take a break and walk away. A councelor can help both of you figure out what is wrong. My daughter is almost 9 and we went through this with her and come to find out she one needed glasses and two was going through a round of depression resulting from my divorce.
2006-10-23 15:31:50 · answer #9 · answered by Martha S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think anyone would willing take on this much trouble. My newest boss told me something about employees that I think applies to everyone. No one goes to work with the intention of doing a bad job. I'm sure your son would love to be getting good grades and positive attention.
Have you really sat down and asked him why he doesn't like the school work? Is it possible he some sort of learning disability, like dyslexia? I could be really hard to get it out of him because 10-year-olds are not usually articulate. So, you'll have to be very patient to get the story out. Does he dislike the teacher, the principal, the school bus, his classmates. There are several things it could be and he probably won't even know exactly. You'll have to put the pieces together.
Good luck!
2006-10-23 15:19:19 · answer #10 · answered by phaig93 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like an attention issue... and it sounds like his teachers really don't care.. which is sad... teachers are there to help him... and he is 10 years old, he really isn't responsible enough to do it on his own.. maybe you should try to sit down with him and try helping him with his homework.. or maybe inviting one of his friends over to help them both with their homework.. i always worked better with a friend/peer working with me.. sit them down at the kitchen table and start out helping him, then get up and do the dishes or chores around the house (but supervise) to see if they do it together.
If he starts behaving better reward him.. tell him for every test/quiz he brings hom with a C he only gets 1/2 hour a day of TV, if he brings home a B, give him 1 hour, and if he brings home A's then tell him he can either rent a movie or watch 2 hours of TV.. but if he starts being good, ALWAYS reward him!!! it is the best way out there!!!
I hope this helps!!!
2006-10-23 15:33:53 · answer #11 · answered by nicole 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋