stresses out so much and spends way too much money, we have quit a large family, immiediate and extended. I am strapped for cash my own self and am still trying to pay off the debt I made last Xmas season. Is it wrong of me to tell my family please not to buy me gifts and that I won't be giving gifts. What do you think?
2006-10-23 14:55:00 · 15 answers · asked by KatieJ 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Also no matter what I do I feel that my mom is still going to buy presents for everyone.. I am really worried about her financial situation. HELP
2006-10-23 15:02:47 · update #1
Let them know you will only be buying for the kids. Your present to yourself is to get/stay out of debt.
2006-10-23 14:58:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a brother & a sister & my husband has 3 brothers & 3 sisters. Until recently, we also had both our parents & my grandma, too. We simply couldn't afford to buy for all those people, not to mention the spouses & neices & nephews. We finally had a talk & everyone decided to buy only for the kids & parents. But, I felt bad not giving, so I started to make family presents, like a really nice handmade ornament or bread or other goodies from my kitchen. One present per family sure cut down on expenses & no one felt bad about getting something they really couldn't afford to reciprocate. We also have a big family get together where everyone brings a dish to pass & we have a nice reunion party on Xmas eve.
2006-10-23 22:05:24 · answer #2 · answered by angel_on_line 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try to make something small for everyone that does not cost much. You have a lot of time and crafts are a lot cheaper than anything else. Or just buy frames and put in photos from the way past of an old family member when they were younger. (frames are only like 1 or 2 bucks)
A cousin would probably really appreciate a photo of your grandparent as a child or young adult. Or your Aunts and uncles as well.
2006-10-23 21:58:22 · answer #3 · answered by AveGirl 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ask to draw names. It is less expensive, and set a price limit for the gift. You may not be the only one who is relieved to not spend a fortune. Do the calling and asking yourself, and explain why you are asking. If you get no one who wants to, just buy something that you can afford, that is easily within your budget, and do not feel guilty. You did try to tell people.
And if you can not afford anything, say so, and ask people to skip you on the present list this year.
My grandmother had a good idea, she got tired of buying presents for adult children, and grandchildren that she barely knew, and had not seen in years.. She mailed a check to the parents of each family, one well within her financial budget, and told them to spend it on Xmas dinner.
As for your Mom, try and sit her down and talk to her, be honest, that you worry that she is spending money that she really needs to eat, buy meds, and heat her house with.
She might get mad, or she might be relieved that she doesn't have to spend the money anymore.
Good luck, and have a Merry, in budget, Xmas!
2006-10-24 02:59:01 · answer #4 · answered by riversconfluence 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just come out and tell them!!! Our family is HUGE. We drew names for EVEYRONE this year, including the grandparents. For a couple of years we did presants for the kids (under age 18) and ornament exchange for the adults, but that kinda sucked. Then a couple of years We did white elephant for the adults (over age 18) some liked it some didn't, the problem was that my retired grandparents were still spending tons of money on all of the (under age 18) kids. This year everyone will get ONE presant including grandma and grandpa. You might try and suggest that. If your family won't do it, then just tell them "hey, I'm broke, you either don't get me anything or your presants will be coming from the dollar store!" Christmas isn't about presants anyway, it's about hanging with family, eating good food, having fun and making memories. Good luck!!!
2006-10-23 23:32:55 · answer #5 · answered by Easter Bunny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not at all! We were saving for a home years ago and told our family that we would join in the festivities, but would only have gifts for the children of the family. Not only did everyone understand, they all agreed to do the same! We all had a lovely family gathering, and went home with peace in our hearts knowing we weren't in unnecessary debt! After all -- Christmas is for children, right? God bless!
2006-10-23 22:06:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would let them know that you don't want gifts and that you can only buy for the kids. If they can't understand, just tell them that you're too strapped for cash and can't buy for everyone. They should understand and if they don't that's their problem. Giving should be a joy not something that causes pain and possibly resentment. As far as your mom goes, you can only be responsible for yourself. Hopefully she'll use some common sense, but if I know mothers, she won't.
Also, if you can afford to buy for one person, maybe you could talk the family into drawing names. Then each person would only buy for one other person and then if they chose, they could buy for the kids also.
2006-10-24 20:38:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Instead of exchanging gifts, the "adults" in our family go out for dinner and/or a theatre production. Everyone pays their own way, pays for their own meal, and their gift to each other is the time they spend together. It's been going on for a few years now, and it seems to be really successful.
Best Regards,
Holly
2006-10-23 22:03:36 · answer #8 · answered by Holly 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Great Question! I have the same issue with my family.. A few years ago we decided to start drawing names.. spending $40 on the name.. and we also buy for the kids.. It makes Christmas so much easier and alto less stressful
2006-10-24 22:22:01 · answer #9 · answered by Liz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right. It is stressful enough at that season, without having to go out and spend money you can't afford for people you don't really care for, and who probably won't appreciate your gift anyway.
I think the best idea is for everyone in the circle to draw one name and buy something suitable for that person.
2006-10-23 22:05:35 · answer #10 · answered by The Gadfly 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋