i was with my ex for 4 years and we almost got married. its been almost two years since we broke up and he is still saying that he isnt ready for the responsibility of a relationship and he needs to work on himself. he says that i am the perfect girl for him and that his feelings have never changed & i feel the same way...but i feel like he has me on a string....what should i do?????????????
2006-10-23 14:21:24 · 22 answers · asked by kcjsunny 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
LET HIM GO. If he was serious he would make the move. Tell him that if he isn't ready for the same level committment then you need to move on. If he is serious then he will get it together.
A wise man (my wife's uncle) once said: It's not whether you can live with some one, it's whether you can live with out them...
2006-10-23 14:23:24 · answer #1 · answered by Bruthaman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After 4 years, and he still does not want to get married, sweety he has some issues that he needs to figure out let him go and if he loves you like he says he does he will come crawling back if not go on with your life. There are so many choices in life and to wait for one guy to decide you're life for you would be a mistake. I have been happily married for 18 years and i am 37. That's an example of how long it took my husband to ask me.Let him go. But he will come back.
2006-10-23 21:33:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Decide how much more time you want to devote to a guy who says he still isn't ready for the responsibility of a relationship and he needs to work on himself. Do you think he'll be ready and done in a month? Six? Ten? Ask yourself how much longer you'll wait for him to change. It looks like you've given him 6 years already. How much more does he get? Once you decide, you'll just have to wait until your time limit is up. He'll either be ready or not.
2006-10-23 21:26:37 · answer #3 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LET GO... it may seem as though he is the end all be all of your life but once you break free and find someone else that wants you in his life, ull notice the difference.
Guys have a major prob with commiting, but if he really loved you and you really were the girl for him he would be with you regardless of whether or not he wanted to get serious now.
ive heard it all before and i now look back and think to myself, what a waste of 3 yrs of my life, and a waste of energy.
Hes got you hanging on a string... no one has a right to do so... Let yourself be happy... and let someone else make u happy... u deserve it
2006-10-23 21:30:39 · answer #4 · answered by Elena 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, he's got you on a string. You need to try to move on. If he really loved you, the relationship wouldn't be a responsibility, it would be a pleasure. Life's too short to waste it on uncertainties. Start dating others, you will see that there is more than one fish in the sea.
2006-10-23 21:25:24 · answer #5 · answered by nikki 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Damn girL.....i was just on the same position with my current girl.... but i was the one who needed that time for myself,and to see what i really want and not only that but some alone time because after breaking up with my ex-girL i got into this relationship in which im the happiest girl but something seem to be missing....but the time alone i got which it was about 2-3 wks was enough to realize how much i love this girl and how i just couldnt bare loosing her, and just knowing that someone else could have what it was mine it kill me. I think you need to give him a ultimatum and let him know that he already had plenty....perhaps too much time to work on himself and that he needs to make up this mind and let you know how is it gonna be because you cannot put your life on hold just because the other one needs some time, honestly you have gaven this guy 6 yrs of your life, and valuable time,and its about time you start loving yourself more than what you love him, because if his love was that strong and all that then he would off be with you already, and i think you need to move on because he obviously is confused and you dont need to deal with this another 6 yrs foreals, you need someone whos sure of how much they love you and knows that is you who they want to love and spend their life with.Good luck hope you make the best decision that will benefit YOU not HIM, love yourself more so you can love others too. GOd Bless you
2006-10-23 21:35:08 · answer #6 · answered by Lizzy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my x was doing the same exact thing! Filling my head full of crap and just coming and going as he pleases! He had me on a string for awhile but not anymore! It's very hard for me to let go and move on but now that I'm not sitting around waiting on him he just ho's around now. The man will tell you what you want to hear but he's keeping you on a string girl!!!! You deserve better!
2006-10-23 21:27:33 · answer #7 · answered by chrisser 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow!! That sounds like me too. I think you should cut the string. I know that it'll be hard but I think its best for you. Dont wait around for him to come around. If you move on maybe that will make change his mind and realize what he had. I am being a huge hipacrit (not spelled right) because I need to do just what I said but I can't. It's too hard. Good luck girlie!!! If it was ment to be I think you would find yourself back with him.
2006-10-23 21:25:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on your age. There are cases where young couples have married and it was a mistake and a divorce was soon after. I'm no expert but I say let him be ready first, I'm sure he knows that he isn't getting younger. Keep your options open.
2006-10-23 21:25:44 · answer #9 · answered by missdontgivafukusa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apparently he's never going to change. Ask yourselves why you broke up in the first place. Is he interested in other women. Knows he can't have his cake and eat it too. If he wants to be with more than one woman he can't settle down with you. Love is a tricky tricky thing. but if you love somebody enough you can change a lot about yourself.
2006-10-23 21:24:51 · answer #10 · answered by moonstar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋